Damn it!
Kara threw a punch at the wall.
That room was too large, illuminated by the pale light and almost gave her an innate sense of loneliness.
But she didn't have much time to worry or think about superfluous things, not particularly now when she was busy with far greater problems.
She knew she was no longer alone and that she wouldn't be alone for long.
That night spent with Henry had been followed by other intercourses until they created a relationship and started dating but one of those nights must have played a bad joke on her.
The ambassador only noticed it three months later, as her period was notably late.
She was pregnant, she had to be, she felt it.
For now it was something easy to hide anyway, but she thought, someday her belly would swell so much that it could no longer be hidden.
Kara leaned against the high wooden furniture that was behind her, turned pale, looked upwards to see the ceiling and to prevent the tears from wetting her face.
Of course, the news of a baby for her, for them, had to be a fantastic one but too many questions arose at that moment in her head.
Kara felt she wasn't ready yet, she was only twenty years old.
She knew noble girls were forced into marriages too at the age of sixteen but she was not noble and she was not like all the others.
She still had many things to do in her life: travel the world, visit new places maybe and finally leave the nest, which had always enclosed her in her nation, but now with a child everything was more complicated.
Kara also did not know at all how the royal family would react in the news of a new born, an illegitimate child.
She certainly imagined it had not been easy, neither for her nor for Henry to react to such a great novelty.
On the other hand, the prince had already turned twenty-five and it would certainly have been nice for him to finally start a family with her, she imagined.
They loved each other so it wouldn't be hard to love their baby too.
But she had anxiety, fear, almost anger, she felt deprived of her freedom for a few seconds, she wasn't ready yet, that was the problem.
Her face was illuminated by the sunlight, hidden behind the clear clouds.
She wondered and asked several times why this could have happened and how she could have been so little cautious as to prevent that event.
Her long brown hair fell halfway down her back.
She knew once that little baby had come into the world she would have loved it more than anybody else but she didn't want to feel affection, not for anyone in the world, not since the day she lost everything.
As a mixture of conflicting emotions grew inside her heart, she heard two light knocks on the door of her room.
Who could it be that was looking for her? Who during the day and especially in those poor conditions...
Kara lifted her body from the cold floor, shook the long skirt of her dress slightly and smoothed her long brown hair with her hands.
She wiped her blue eyes, leaving a faint redness on them.
The door opened, allowing the prince himself to be seen from behind it.
She recognised him by the golden blond hair, by the deep grey eyes, by everything she loved of him, but in particular by his perfume, which she smelled on him.
The father of her baby had come to see her, still not knowing what was going on.
Henry walked over to her, kissed her on her cheeks, passionately on her mouth, their bodies were so close.
She knew she had to tell him about the baby, she knew that he would still love her.
The prince soon realised that something was wrong with her because she was visibly upset.
He looked at her face, in her eyes she posed somewhere else, from the annoyed look.
Something had happened and he understood this, it almost frightened him not knowing what he was bothering her so much.
-What happens to you?- the man whispered, as Kara's skin took on a paler colour, he was afraid of her, that something had happened to her.
Kara sank both hands, her long fingers inside her straight, long brown hair that descended from her head to the middle of her back.
The ambassador inhaled with her small nose slightly upwards and blew all the air out of her small, thin lips.
Her blue eyes were turned towards the sky, towards the white ceiling.
She was afraid it could ruin their relationship.
She loved him and so did he.
She had to tell him, confess about the baby.
Kara took courage, sparkling, salty tears began to roll down her cheeks.
-I'm pregnant, in my womb your child is growing, Henry- she said turning her deep gaze somewhere else.
She had made it, she had done the right thing and for this reason she felt relieved now that she had confessed everything to him.
Now she was only waiting for his reaction, she turned her face towards that of the prince.
He smiled, Henry stood there and on her noble and harmonious face stretched a smile, of joy of happiness, his eyes full of tears of happiness.
The man had always adored children, their innocence and active happiness, all this also put enormous joy in his heart.
He had just turned twenty-five and had always dreamed of getting married one day and receiving many children.
Now that opportunity, that long-awaited time would come, Kara was now carrying their baby in her womb, but the prince really did not understand why she was not happy with it.
He looked at her intently, with his deep grey eyes, analysed every feature of her face, her eyes full of tears, the bright colour of her blue eyes.
Henry did not understand how after such good news, she continued to maintain an attitude of uncertainty.
.You gave me some great news, Kara... I am so happy- came out almost like a sweet whisper from Henry's tight lips.
-but it is difficult for me to understand why you continue to look so desperate, knowing about our baby...-.
Kara lifted her hands from her brown hair, moved her arms under her breasts, more swollen by pregnancy, crossed them, one over the other, looked away for a long time, taking a blush on her pale cheeks.
- You don't understand then...you can't possibly do it, right?- she whispered from her soft lips, she held them tight, in defensive reaction, she felt almost threatened.
-I do not feel ready for this task, I have never actually asked myself not even the single question of what it meant to be a mother and children are not really my thing...- Kara said, moving a lock of brown hair behind her shoulders with a quick movement of her hand.
Henry looked startled, what did she wanted to do then? That child was theirs, he had their own blood.
His little heart had already started beating and giving vital signs, so the prince hoped his girlfriend would not decide to put an end to their magnificent future and to their relationship.
-What do you want to do then?- Henry asked this time, putting himself in a defensive position-do you want to get rid of our baby, pretend that nothing has ever happened?- tears started rolling down his cheeks.
Kara closed her lips, squeezed them.
She placed a hand on her lap.
The ambassador shook her head, closed her eyes, she didn't feel like aborting.
But rationally she had to start thinking on what could have happened to her revealing her unexpected pregnancy to her court.
Henry certainly never wanted to give up the child's paternity and neither did Kara feel the responsibility to keep the child away from his father and deny his existence forever.
But if the sovereign had then decided to send the young woman away, she would then have found herself without any fixed abode nor someone who could take care of her and her newborn child.
-Once I had a family, a father, a mother, brothers and sisters...I was happy, I was the youngest of my family, of a wealthy family, my father before me was the ambassador of the French crown- Kara stammered remembering the past.
She didn't want to remember, remembering her made her sad, made her cry.
-as you can imagine, such a childhood was every children's dream...a small child... as I was then, a little girl, just six years old, innocent...I really believed that such a dream could last forever…-.
Henry patiently listened, he knew that what she was telling was very important and it would help him understand her better.
-I was only six years old when the house was destroyed by the flames, only I managed to save me that night...you can't... even imagine what it's like to call, scream the names of parents, siblings, to the wind and not receive any answer- the words of Kara ended in last and exasperated sobs, which were carried away by the cold.
She looked away, she was ashamed, felt she had never wanted to cry in front of the prince but it was inevitable, too many feelings had accumulated in her.
Henry had never known how much she had suffered in her past, there were so many things that united them, so much about their pasts, that they mixed.
-My mother is dead, I was only eight years old then, my father made me watch her death with my own eyes- said the man moving away some of his golden blond hair from his forehead.
-but you know what I really find doesn't make any sense? Thinking about memories that belong to the past and thinking about how happy we were then…- he commented letting that sentence out of his tight lips with as much difficulty as he tried to repress his conflicting thoughts.
Kara looked at Henry's face for a long time, how sad he was still for the past, how hard it was for him to remember the death of his mother but on the other hand she perceived how sincere and comforting were the words of the man.
-Unfortunately I know how these situations end- commented the woman drying the wet and cold tears from her eyes -everything seems the beginning of a story, magnificent, but all this always ends up inevitably disappearing one day... -.
Kara felt a hand grab her chin with sweet delicacy, until opening her eyes she found the prince's face next to her.
She looked at his big grey eyes, his lips half closed, how much she wanted to kiss them...
-In any case, this could be the beginning of a story, of our story- the man whispered softly into her ears making her blush.
-What will happen if they find out about our child?- Kara stammered.
Henry did not give her time to finish his sentence, he placed one of his fingers on her lips, pressed them weakly, as a sign of silence, to let him speak.
Her lips were soft, the prince too had a great desire to kiss them.
-I will take back England, the land that rightfully belongs to me, I will become king and you, you will be my queen and you will never leave me and so will I... - Henry said, bringing his lips closer to those of Kara as his words slowly changed to a whisper.
He couldn't wait, no longer, he strongly wanted to kiss her.
-I love you Henry and I want you right now...- came out as a sweet whisper from Kara's lips, but there was not enough time before those of the man were already on hers.
Their bodies were close, close to each other, they felt good.