Hello guys, author here.
Sorry to disturb the reading, but I just wanted to leave a warning.
This chapter is a bit confusing, I don't know if I was able to express what I meant and it can be a bit boring to read, so I apologize.
He still has some necessary things and can be a little controversial, I hope you don't hit me afterwards. Anyway, good reading ° ~ °.
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My mind after an unknown time began to recover little by little and not long afterwards I was finally able to open my eyes.
In my vision is Hui'er who lies on his side holding my hand tightly, I am also lying on my side comfortably. I get up and look at the strange bedroom, it is not the bedroom that was assigned to me and Hui'er.
My body feels strange, cold energy flows through me, it's like ice circulating in my body, but instead of hurting it is comfortable and good.
Still holding Hui'er's hand, I try to remember what happened. I remember we drank the awakening potion ... And .. Kiss ?.... Cof ... I must talk seriously with Hui'er afterwards.
As I remember the things that happened, I feel my body losing its strength. What happened next ?. All I remember is that I almost died ...
Looking at Hui'er's pacific face asleep, I shake hands tightly ... She also almost died ...
The only thing I'm sure of is that it happened because of the awakening potion ... I ... Almost killed both of us because of something precipitated.
"You woke up ?." A familiar voice reaches my ears, looking towards the door was my mother, she is holding a bucket of green liquid and is paralyzed.
"Mom?." I ask confused that she is looking at me shocked, before I can say anything else I feel my face being plunged into something very soft.
"I was worried ... I thought you weren't going to wake up anymore. You wake up so early is incredible." My mom is hugging me very tight ... It's not just me who was worrying, our mom must also have been very worried about what happened to us.
"Mom, you're suffocating me." I say as I hug her lightly, I feel the strength weaken when my face is removed from her breasts.
While we were in this situation, a sound is heard beside me. Hui'er who was sleeping woke up rubbing his eyes lightly.
"Yuyu?. Mom?." She asked still groggy, my hand that is still connected with Hui'er's was tightly squeezed.
"Huihui!." Mom who freed me hugged me again, this time Hui'er is with me in mom's embrace.
After a while we were finally released from Mom's embrace, looking at her face I saw that it is a little wet, our situation must have been really bad. I feel a lot of guilt inside me, which made me hug again.
A palm started to stroke my head and that made me calmer. I still haven't left her embrace, somehow all I want now is to hug mom and have her comfort.
"Mom, what happened?." As I hug Mom I hear Hui'er ask. The moment I jumped to hug mom, our hands came loose, but Hui'er for some reason still kept his hand on my clothes.
"Well, I think the three of us owe explanations. I'm going to start first. You two awoke something called the Divine Body, normally it should be good but you two woke them up early and almost died because of it." Mom said something that shocked me a little.
"After waking up divine body, Yueyue started to get so cold that it froze the room and Huihui's got so hot that fire arose in the room ... Do you understand the complicated situation you entered ?. It was only thanks to the ancestor of the Li family that we managed to get their two bodies to suppress themselves." Mom sighed as I felt her hand continue to stroke my head, I think she is doing something like that at Hui'er.
But none of that matters now, what shocked me most is the fact that I have a Divine Body and from what she said it is something related to ice ...
This ... Isn't it the same body I had in my second life ?. If this divine body of mine is the same as I had in my past life, this awakening doesn't make sense. I cultivated for years and I never experienced anything like that, my body never released energy from ice so it's impossible for me to freeze a room in that life unless I used my cultivation. But what mom said was that I froze a bedroom and I don't even have cultivation yet, the same goes for Hui'er.
"Did we almost die?." Hui'er's confused voice rang in my ears, it seems that she doesn't remember what happened.
"Yes, you worried me a lot, I thought I would lose my two daughters that day luckily their bodies were suppressed. Now you owe me an explanation, what did you do before you went to sleep? I want to know what caused this awakening." Mom asked in a soft, gentle voice. I stopped hugging her and sat on the bed. Hui'er said nothing and just looked at me, she promised me not to tell anyone about the potion.
It's not that I wanted to hide my knowledge... Actually, I did, but temporarily. I wanted to hide until I got results and show my family that we can become stronger by awakening the spirit, so that we no longer need to worry about the imperial family and we can have enough strength to face them and not be in this neutral state.
On the one-year anniversary, I watched mom and dad fight against the emperor, it was also after that day that they explained to me that our Li family is the enemy of the Emperator.
That is why I decided that after I got the result I was ask mom and dad to train in this method, of course also my brother and the people loyal to mom and dad.
I am not selfish enough to have this medium of cultivation just for me when I can make my whole family stronger. Of course, I am not foolish enough to transmit this medium to the entire Li family, so many Novels that I read about the brothers themselves killing themselves to be the leader of the family is enough for me to be cautious with those who are not important to me.
Now that the awakening potion had a different effect than I wanted, I don't intend to keep it hidden ... I love mom and I'm going to tell her a little bit of the truth and I hope she believes in me.
"Mom ... Do you remember the items I've been asking for all these years?." I take a deep breath when I ask the question, I'm ready to tell half the truth. Mom nodded as she looked at me kindly.
"They are items to create a certain potion, it may have been because of it that we awakened our divine bodies. But I don't know why that happened, this potion is to awaken something called a spirit." I say while Mom and Hui'er have a curious look.
"I know you're wondering where I got the recipe for this potion from ... actually I've had it since I was born." What I said made Mom and Hui'er both have puzzled faces.
"What do you mean, Yueyue ?." Mom has a frown and worried face when she sat next to me.
"Since I was born I have memories of a person, of a cultivator. It is also because of this that I was able to access the memory of blood first than Hui'er and also where the knowledge of this potion comes from." I explain with my heart beating so fast that it can come out of my mouth, I am very anxious.
"These memories ... Does it hurt you?." Mom seems to be very concerned, holding my hand tightly.
"Yuyu, are you okay?." Hui'er is also beside me very concerned.
"I'm fine, the memory doesn't hurt me. Maybe I'm the reincarnation of that person and that's why I feel so close to the memory." I didn't lie, only 'Maybe' can be seen as a lie, but in fact even I have doubts sometimes. As much as I know that I am the same guy from memory, I still feel different, as if I were not him and it makes me afraid to the point of rejecting the common things in this life.
I try to keep myself away from the most feminine things to force myself to remember that I am still the same as in my past life. Even if in a way I like some cute things.
I went through three lives, but the way I spent them was different. At Transmigration I didn't feel as complicated as today, the rebirth was essentially different, I was born with a different sex and although I still know that it is me it is as if it were not the same as my past life, this is strange. No novel or story I read speaks about this, how do these reborn protagonists deal with it ?.
Mom was silent. I was worried, maybe I said too much?
"Uhm... And what's the problem with you having that person's memories?. Even if you are her reincarnation or anything like that doesn't change anything. We were born together and you were always you, even if you have these memories you are my sister." Hui'er gave me an answer so easy that it even confused me, are my problems that simple ?.
"What Huihui said is right, you can be a person's reincarnation but you are still my daughter. In a way I can see that you are concerned about it, so I'm going to ask you a simple question. You have been lying about your personality so far ?." Mom asked me with a gentle smile, but her question thundered in my mind.
"NO ..." I give a little cry when I get agitated, my heart aches.
"I never lied about myself!. Even about my tastes I love strawberries, I love Hu'er, I love Mom, I love my family, I never lied." I say this in a slightly loud voice with my eyes filling with tears, I don't understand what I'm feeling.
I somehow do not understand and understand the stories where the person is born again, some totally reject their new life to the point of lying about loving their new family when deep down they tell themselves that they are not the children of those people. But in the same way I don't understand why they reject their new family ...
Yes, I miss my family from my last two lives, but I also love this new family of mine. I am that person's son and that is immutable ...
"So you don't have to be so confused Yueyue, no matter if you want to remain the same as your past life or want to start all over again, you will continue to be my daughter and I will love you anyway." Mom gently rubbed my cheek where tears were streaming without me noticing.
This discussion again ... The first time I said that I would start my new life, but when I knew I was a girl I rejected myself ... Now this question comes up again.
But none of that matters ... The whole psychological issue above doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm the same as in the past life or I'm a new me ...
All that matters is that Mom and Hui'er accepted me for who I am.
"Sniff... Thanks Mom, Hui'er ..." I am I, no matter if I am a man, a woman. It doesn't matter if I was born again, I love all my families from all my lives ... All my lives are me, no matter how much I change, whether it's a different sex or a personality opposite to my other lives in the end I am I.
After my reflection, I talked about the rest of my past life with Mom and Hui'er and mainly told about the method of cultivation of that life.
In the end I ended up telling the whole truth about who I am and I honestly don't regret it, I needed this reflection.