The smoke hovered around her face almost like a living animal. She took a deep breath and inhaled it slowly. She felt as it was permeating her chest and she had this feeling again. This really strong feeling of emptiness and powerlessness and she knew, that if at that moment someone shot her in the head, she wouldn't make a single sound and just collapse on the ground with a small, impassive smile. Yes, she could die right now and she wouldn't have cared. She liked that feeling.
Mary smiled lazily and exhaled the smoke, shaping her lips in a little "o". Then she dropped the stump and crushed it with her heel.
It was quite cold. She could see the white puffs of her breath. Everyone passing the alley she was standing in was covered in coats, jackets, sweaters, and scarves. She wrapped her heavy, black coat tighter around her chest and forced her hands in the pockets. She noticed the dirt and dust covering it like a second layer of clothing. And it was a little bit smelly too. Well, you know what they say. It is what it is.
The sun was hanging heavily above the ground as if it was about to drop and crush everyone. After all, this wouldn't be that bad. At least Mary certainly wouldn't be crying over it too much. Or at all.
She felt a shiver down her spine. Yes, she should look for some nice place to sleep if she didn't want to freeze to death that night. But she still had time.
Mary felt bored again. And her limbs felt heavy and unwilling to move. She sighed and pushed her back away from the cold, bricky wall. She started to fumble in her pockets. But where... She checked her inside pockets. Then her clumpy ankle shoes. Then her pockets again.
She breathed with frustration.
"Shit."
She was out of cigarettes. How did this happen?
She wanted to smoke. Badly. It's been ages...
She fixed her lipstick and walked out of the alley.
She bumped into few people along the way which made them notice her for a split second. Notice a strange girl in a black, thick coat way too big for her. Dirty, claret skirt poking from the underside of her coat. Black, heavy shoes on platforms, stumping steadily on the sidewalk. Sometimes they even noticed her face, surrounded by short, intensely blond hair. Blushed, dirty cheeks. Tip-tilted nose. Lips in the color of fresh blood. But they always avoided her eyes. And then, when she passed by them without any apology, they quickly threw her out of their memory.
Mary was pissed. The need to smoke grew stronger and stronger. There was only one place that had the cigarettes she liked. She was very particular about that. The thing was, this place wasn't really in that neighborhood. It wasn't really anywhere. At least anywhere here.
It was in the Oher world. The world that didn't belong to humans and not many could enter it or even acknowledge its existence.
But that wasn't a problem for Mary.
***
You can call me a fool if you wish, dear friend, but I believe sweaters were what brought me luck.
When my feet reached the ground I staggered disgracefully, however, I did nothing beside that. I didn't grip my ankle nor did I fall on my knees. I didn't feel any pain either, even though I heard "auch" blurting out of my mouth.
And who is a fool now?
My sweaters did bring me luck... Or perhaps it was Time. She was always in a rush, always looking for something or catching it or... Well, rare as it was she sometimes waited too. She wasn't fond of waiting though.
But I know she liked to think of herself as my guardian angel. I found that rather amusing.
She didn't take good care of herself. How could she ever look after someone else?
But maybe that's how guardian angels worked? Just in case I took out my phone. "Don't pick up" it said beside the number I dialed.
"Hi!" The response was quick.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
She caught like in a demonstration.
"Okay. Better..."
I nodded.
"Good."
"Aren't you in school?"
"Not anymore."
"Oh." There was a pause. "I hope I didn't scare you or something?"
"No. Of course not..."
"I'm sorry, Feb... I didn't mean to... I just kinda freaked out. I just didn't see Time for a long time and... I thought that you're not going to...
You know..."
"Come on, I wanted to skip anyway. I had French."
She laughed.
"You have French every week."
"I don't mind skipping."
"You should."
"I was late."
"But you're always late."
"Nah." She lied, my friend, and don't you dare believe her. "I hate being late."
She sighed.
"So... You're going home, right?"
I haven't really decided yet, but my feet automatically chose the most familiar path, leading to my house.
"Maybe."
"It's cold."
"Yeah. I don't mind."
"I made cookies."
"I will be there in ten minutes."
She laughed and without goodbye hung up. It might have looked good if it was a movie, but it only annoyed me and made somehow me feel lonely.
The road was absolutely empty.
No cars, no cates, no people... It's not that it surprised me. It was a filthy street with holes in the ground and dark clouds not so high above the heads of pedestrians that they can be ignored. That's why there were no pedestrians.
Only me.
I didn't like sidewalks.
I glanced sideways and walked into the middle of the main road. It might have been risky in another town or other street, but here... Honestly, here it was my only attraction. Plus, cars only rode here in the early mornings and late evenings. And even then it was rather rare.
I smiled as I closed my eyes for a second. The wind pushed my head back a little bit and danced with my hair.
Well, it was cold.