Prompt: Even criminal masterminds celebrate the holidays! (Wrote this during the holidays)
The reinforced steel doors into the inmate's lounge burst open!
"Weee!!!!"
A slender girl with red and black pigtails, a grey jumpsuit, and a Santa hat cartwheels through the main area, gracefully landing on the balls of her feet. She does a pirouette and spreads her arms out like a child greeting the early morning.
"Hooray it's Christmas everybody!!!" she cheers in her squealy Jersey accent. "Aren't ya excited?!"
The nearby security detail rolls their eyes and shakes their heads. The only inmates in the room, who are sitting on the leather sofas, gaze at her with raised eyebrows. Harley looks expectantly at them with a childish grin.
"Well well if it isn't our favorite prepubescent jester."
A slender man with oily black hair and an abnormally large hook nose raises his chin in her direction.
"The one and only! You like Christmas, don't ya' Pengu?"
He lights his pipe and blows a puff of thick, black smoke into the air. "I guess it's alright. I don't much like the idea of a bloke comin' down me fireplace in the middle of the night and eatin' all me food, but I like the snow."
She winks, skips over to one of the sofas, and sits on the armrest.
"What about you, Red? I see ya've been workin' on some decorations!!!"
A woman with leafy green skin and waist-length cherry hair gives Harley a knowing smile as he makes her wreath.
"Someone has to make this place festive," she says in a sultry voice. "There isn't one wreath hanging anywhere in this filthy place!"
"That, you herbivorous temptress, is because you strangled six security guards with them during your last escape attempt," a redheaded man with green glasses says matter-of-factly.
Ivy narrows her mesmerizing green eyes. "Just because you don't like Christmas, Nygma, doesn't mean you have to ruin it for everyone else."
The Riddler sighs with annoyance and shakes his head. "My dear Miss Isley, Christmas is a nonsensical holiday originally celebrated by religious groups that has since been capitalized upon by toy manufacturers as a way to market to gullible children. Furthermore, those who celebrate the modern and incorrect version of Christmas featuring the old oaf known as "Santa Claus" celebrate a mythological being invented by parents in order to fool and pacify their ignoramus and self-entitled children-"
"Do you ever shut up?!" a gravelly voice asks from the other sofa. A man with brown hair and a hideous charred burn stretching across half his body flips his dual-headed coin with a blank look on his face. Riddler glares at Two-Face like his head is about to explode with rage.
"Hey, I got somethin' that'll lighten the mood," Harley says springing from her seat.
Everyone groans.
"Bloody hell, not this again," Penguin says pinching his nose.
"Why did Santa go to jail?" Harley asks the group.
Nothing but silence.
"Because he sleighed an elf!" Harley giggles insanely, doubling over and nearly falling to the floor. Everyone on the couches rolls their eyes.
"Insolent child," Riddler mutters under his breath.
Suddenly, deranged laughter echoes through the room from behind the steel entry doors. Everyone falls silent and turns towards the opening. The nearby security guards unholster their guns wearily and the leaves on Ivy's arm stand up straight. Harley gasps and a wide, loving smile taints her lips.
"Puddin?"
Approaching from the doorway is a thin pale man with lime green hair and a large, unnatural smile. His hands and feet are bound by a long chain held by two massive security guards. An evil, mischievous look flashes in his toxic eyes and he grins.
"Oh, Harley that joke gets me every time!!"
Proud tears roll down her cheeks as she races over and jumps into Joker's chained arms, receiving glares from the security guards and Ivy.
"Merry Christmas, Puddin'!"
He kisses her head and laughs. "Same to you, my dear!"
Looping her arm through Joker's, the two skip merrily over to the sofa and take a seat.
"I didn't think they'd let you out of your cell after what you did last Christmas..." Ivy seethes.
Joker pulls at the collar of his jumpsuit. "What?! I did the exercise my therapist asked! She said to give a gift to someone during the holiday season, so I did! I gave a nice big box to ALL the Arkham security guards..."
Harley places a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling. "I remember that! Good one, Mista' J! They were really blown away by your surprise!"
The two burst out laughing. Ivy rolls her eyes once again. "Right...I'm going back to my cell."
She motions with a crooked finger to a young guard, who rushes to her immediately.
"I'm ready to leave. Do you think I could take this with me? You know, for some holiday cheer?"
The guard looks at her and the holly wreath suspiciously.
She leans in closer to him and a faint smell of sugar and roses fills the air.
"I'll give you a kiss if you do."
The guard smiles drunkenly and helps her out of her seat. On her way past, she gives Harley a peck on the cheek.
"Merry Christmas, doll."
"Merry Christmas, Red!"
"Oh yes, Pammy!" Joker interjects. "Get some rest, you'll want to Spruce yourself up for the Christmas party tomorrow."
He and Harley bust out laughing again.
"Hilarious, Joker..." she says turning away.
Joker snaps his fingers at the hypnotized guard. "You there! If you're going to mess around with Pammy for a little while, tell her to keep her shoes on! You wouldn't want to see her mistletoe!"
He and Harley go into another fit of giggles. Ivy, clearly annoyed, stalks off through the doors.
"Please, take me with you, Pamela!" Riddler shouts following after her. "Don't leave me with these intolerable maniacs!"
The other inmates disperse, leaving only the merry murderers to their usual antics...