After a couple of hours working and chatting about nothing much, Amari grabbed his third cup of coffee for the day and started out of the coffeehouse kitchen.
"Oh, Cate." He had almost forgotten about the strange visitor. "Do you know a Nicky? He showed up early in the morning, and now he's staying for a few days."
"Nicky, hein?" Her voice was calm, but didn't have any of its normal sweetness. "He and Zig had a fling years ago, one of the few that lasted. Then he suddenly announced he was getting married to some woman and left." She sighed heavily. "Ziggy was really attached to him. En fait, he helped him build The Basement. He comes around sometimes, just professionally. He is a great sound engineer."
Amari scratched the side of his head, shocked to hear that Ziggy had that kind of relationship with the man. Or with anyone. He wondered how he should interpret his return. A business friend showing up at that hour, after that many years, because his wife kicked him out? The wife that he left him for? And not crashing on the couch, but staying in the same room? Amari wasn't comfortable with the situation, but he knew the man didn't have any normal relationships, so it was too early to judge.
With a wave, he turned and headed out to help prepare for the regular Sunday crowd. There were already multiple people gathered at the bar and a few setting up on stage when he arrived, so he slipped carefully behind the counter next to Ziggy. Thankfully, the man always smelled the same, using imported soap, shampoo, and aftershave from Montreal, and it was impossible to miss him.
"Scotty's back," said a man sitting across the counter. "Have a good afternoon?"
Amari purposely looked away from Nicky, eyes darting around the room. "It was okay." His gaze landed on the hall leading to the back room. "Zig, do you need me to do anything?"
"Ah, since it is open mic and then open band, I just need you for sound check before people arrive." His friend spoke as he passed out drinks. "Jen will be here to help with entry and then bar, so if you will straighten up the greenroom for the bands, ce serait fin."
"Okay."
Giving Nicky barely a nod goodbye, he headed down the hall to the greenroom. It wasn't particularly messy, since Ziggy usually stayed and cleaned after the Saturday performances, but he made sure the long counter was free of clutter and the seats and couches were arranged.
As he was putting the last few pillows on a couch, a large pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders, a face nuzzling against his neck. Amari took a breath in through his nose and the corner of his mouth lifted.
"What're you doing here?" he asked, immobilized by the heavy body behind him. "I thought you had a gig."
"I do," said the deep voice, layered with a charming, sweet tone. "Playing support for open band night. Surprise." Yangyang's voice was quiet, muffled by Amari's neck and shoulder.
He tried to shift himself loose, but the man only held on tighter. "Yang ge, you're so clingy. And you know how I feel about surprises..." He trailed off as Yangyang kissed him on the cheek.
"You love them?" he asked jokingly. "Yeah, I know." Pulling Amari around, he gave him another quick kiss. "But I'm not clingy. I'm affectionate."
"Oh, that's better then." Amari couldn't help smiling. "Why're you here so early?"
Yangyang released his hold on the boy and sighed. "To see you, of course. Because I missed you. Why else would I be here?"
Rolling his eyes, Amari threw the pillow still in his hand onto the couch. "When'd you become so flirty? You're like a different person."
"Not flirty. Affectionate." The man leaned in near his ear. "I'm pretty sure I told you that I'm done holding back."
Amari punched him in the stomach, knocking out a small breath, then lifted his hands in the air. "Oh, sorry. I can't see very well, so my aim is limited." He flashed him a mischievous grin and Yangyang groaned.
"Ah, I liked it better when you were shy." Both arms were around him again, pulling his head into the large chest. "I came early because I didn't want to miss your singing. You're doing sound check, yeah?"
Switching back to a warm smile, he let out a muffled grunt to confirm, putting his own arms around Yangyang's waist. Only a moment later, the man let go, pushing him back a step.
"Someone's coming," he said urgently, and without realizing, Amari reflexively dropped his arms and frowned.
"Yangyang!" exclaimed the voice, light and cheerful. "Oh, and Amari! Are you two friends?"
Jen approached and gave Yangyang a brief hug.
"We met a couple months ago, at our comeback show." The man rested casually on Amari's shoulder. "We got along really well, yeah?"
"Huh?" He looked toward Yangyang and then to the floor. "Oh, yeah."
"Wow, really?" Jen sounded honestly shocked and gave Amari a pat on the back. He should have been offended, but he was too confused to care. "That's great then! This one is always so quiet. Of course, leave it to you to bring him out of his shell!"
The man chuckled and Amari gently pushed the arm away.
"I should probably go check and see if they're ready for me." He nodded a goodbye to Jen and hurried out into the hallway.
::What the fuck was that? What happened to begin affectionate? Jen doesn't care... Maybe he's embarrassed by me?::
He shook his head, knowing he was overreacting to something silly, and saw Ziggy's exaggerated wave from behind the bar.
"Let's have the house band do a sound check!" he shouted up to the stage. "Scotty will do vocals, so just play what you want, hein?"
Amari carefully headed up the few steps, always slow as he tried to maneuver around cords and sound equipment. There was already a stool in front of the microphone, so he sat and adjusted the height of the stand.
"Hey there kid," greeted Ren, one of their regular guitarists for open mic.
They always had open mic nights on Sundays, and often they had a live band to accompany singers. Later, they would have open band, inviting groups or individual musicians to play, also able to take advantage of any extra instrumentals. Ziggy had been doing it regularly for over a decade, and Ren had been playing with him since the beginning.
"We have a full crew here tonight. Want us to choose, or is there something you want to sing?"
"Can I pick anything?" asked Amari. He looked out into the audience, even though he couldn't distinguish one blur from another. "James Bay, Peer Pressure?"
"Yeah, we can do that." Ren stepped to the side. "Did you hear that?" Amari heard a 'yeah' and an 'uh-huh' and Ren tested a few notes on his acoustic. "We're good."
The boy raised his hand, signaling he was ready. Ren came in with the intro notes, and Amari took a breath and closed his eyes.
The greenroom moment replayed in his mind as he sang and he felt like an idiot. They had been dating for less than a day. How could that single moment leave him with so many doubts? Was he being played with? Was Yangyang embarrassed? Ashamed?
::But I'll give in to yours...::
He knew it was crazy to already feel insecure. But he had given away his hope for control, and as he sang he only sank further into uncertainty. If Yangyang was clingy, he should just be clingy. If he was uncomfortable around other people, he should say that. And if he only wanted to play...
::No, Amari. You should just ask him.::
He was quickly reminded why he avoided relationships. Once he was attached, he was in completely, like a fool, but he didn't even know Yangyang that well. He probably wasn't like that. Normal people weren't like that.
The music stopped and Amari opened his eyes. He could hear clapping and a few cheers from the people who had begun streaming in, so he bobbed his head, keeping his face expressionless.
"Damn, kid." Ren's voice was right in his ear. "When did you get all that soul? Did something happen I don't know about?"
He just shook his head.
"Well, shit. You've always been good, but that was something new." Amari didn't say anything and heard Ren back away a little. "We have time, so let's do one more, okay?"
With a nod, he tried to think of another song he felt like singing.
"Hey Ren. Do you mind if I play along with this one?" Yangyang was suddenly on stage and he could hear the man walking around, quietly speaking to each member of the band, but he ignored it.
"Do you have a violin?"
"Yeah. Plugged in and ready."
Yangyang picked it up and checked the tuning.
"You're not going to tell the kid what we're playing?"
"Nah," the man said playfully. "He likes surprises."
There was a chuckle next to him and Amari groaned, careful not to be heard over the mic. After a few moments, the piano started, followed by Yangyang's violin. Amari smiled slightly, easily picking up the beat to the 10,000 Maniacs' version of Because the Night.
As he sang, he tried to decide if there was meaning behind the choice. He usually had a reason for the songs he sang, even if he didn't know that reason until he was already singing. But Yangyang could be different. Maybe he was overthinking it.
The lyrics and rhythm didn't help dispel his fears. He sang about lust and desire, knowing they both felt it, but he was afraid Yangyang might not be as committed to the rest. He was affectionate, but it could easily stop there. It was obvious he didn't want others to know. They had just jumped in without really talking about anything, and maybe he wasn't looking for more.
Amari immediately told himself he wouldn't have fallen for that kind of man. Back behind the insecurities, he knew Yangyang wasn't that person. He said he was serious, and had said all of those sweet words. Those seemed real. It could be possible that someone might want him for more than his face and body.
As the violin played through the bridge, he pushed his thoughts away. There was no use dwelling on imaginary problems. He let himself fall into the music instead, focusing only on the notes coming from the man next to him and the skill of his wrist and fingers.