The alarm went on only then did I realize that I have been up all night, I stared at the door, waiting for some hands to open it and yell at me to get ready for school.
That was her early morning routine which I had always found annoying, but right now, I craved so much for these moments, I need to hear those voice. I kept staring at the door for several minutes and none of these happened, then it dawned on me that I am Left alone in this world.
I really wanted to cry my heart out but I knew I needed to be strong for me, I didn't want to end up like chlidren who felt lonely in movies, and ended up becoming monsters, looking for a prey to devour. I decided to keep my heads high on my goals never to trust no more.
I left my sturdy desk and went into the bathroom to get prepared for school. I was so surprised at the way I decided to take all the pains off me and choose to life like nothing happened, I had actually thought I would cry over her for weeks buh I was glad at the out turn of events... seems I am becoming an adult.
I bathed quickly cus I didn't want to freeze to death from my choice of water, since there was no one around to pester me into using the warm water, I gladly maked use of the cold shower cus the other makes me feel sick.
I got ready for school and could hear my tommy grumble, just then did I realize that I hadn't had anything apart from cereal since yesterday afternoon. I began to feel pale and dizzy, I really needed to have something to feed the angry worms in my tommy with, I was still thinking of what to make myself when I heard a knock on the door, I was wondering. who it was, for a moment I became happy, had thought she had come back to me, then I remembered I had a Dad, I had totally forgotten about him that moment,nor did I remember the slap he gave to me last night. For some reason unknown to me, the feeling of hatred towards him grew stronger.
He flung my door open and said with a straight face.
" I hope you are prepared for school".... He looked at me with a pleasing look and continued with his statement. " come downstairs, I made breakfast, you don't want to go to class on an empty stomach. Do you?".
Before I could say a word he left. I was amazed at the out turn of things, I couldn't figure out what was going on, I had never seen him cook nor do any house chores and these statements of his felt like a bumb in my heart's.
A side of me was eager to see what he had prepared and another side was feeling bitter towards him but it seems my tommy couldn't endure those grumbling at the thought of food. I took my bag pack and kept my laptop at a save edge so as to prevent it from falling. I went downstairs and couldn't hide my surprise at the sight of the slumptious meal he had claimed to prepare. I stood at the end of the stairs and couldn't help but wonder if this was truly the man I used to know. I still wasn't convinced that he made all this himself, I felt he had ordered it overnight. When did he go for cooking classes?? or he had just decided to send mom off with his "I don't care" attitude??, the thought of this rose my anger which would have fueled up if I didn't hear him speak.
" Will you come to the table or you prefer to stand over there like a toddler who just peed on himself?".
I looked up and caught him looking at me fondly, I was lost and was trying to process the cause of the sudden change but I couldn't.
I went over and could feel my mouth getting wet at a closer look at the meals, I just couldn't make my mind on which to feed on. I eventually placed some casseroles and salad on my plates, I was about to eat when I looked at the seat ajacent me, I was still not used to her absence, I was waiting for her to put more food in my plates, yell at me for not putting on my napkins or tease me about the girl I had a crush on in school, all this memories came back flashing in my heads buh I decided to eat so I could gain some strength to say hurtful things at her, when we meet someday, which felt like it was never going to happen.
We ate in silence, we had nothing to talk about obviously. When he was done eating he dropped his cutleries loudly which breaks the silence and akwardness that envolve the room he stood up and said without looking back.
"I will be back downstairs in 5, make sure you are done, I don't want us to get late"
I felt my heart skipped a beat, I had never heard him use the word "Us". It felt starnge, Was he feeling some kinda pity for me??, that would be the last thing I would ever want from anyone, I didn't like getting the pity card. I finished the food on my plate, cleared the table and did the dishes and when I was done, he was already waiting at the lounge, I took my bag pack and dash out to the garage with him.
He put on the engine of the car, I hopped in at the back sit but he wasn't ready to move and kept on staring bat me through the mirror. He gave me a sneer and retort
" You aren't making me your driver, are you??"
I was shocked and moved over to the front sit and then I thought
" What in the name of heaven is happening??, why is he speaking to me causally???... Is this so sort of irony or what??, momma left and Dad turned to be a great father which I least expected".
He turned in the steroe, and played " Torn" by Asa, which was the condition of ny heart rii now.
He increased the volume and looked towards me
" You can sing along if you want to"
He drove off like a Maniac trying to put out all his frustration. I didn't want to listen or sing along to the music, I knew doing that would pierce my soul, I didn't want to tear up cus that would make me feel weak,and I really didn't want to create those memories with him.
Apart from the loud music we drove off quietly. when we arrived at my school, I got down and ran away as fast as I could without bidding him good bye.
I didn't want to talk to him causally, I didn't want to make him feel more pity for me, I didn't want to make memories with him after all he has gone to momma. Just yesterday, I wanted to hang out with him, go to the cinemas, make him my buddy and all of that shit, but right now, I really resented him and every other person around me. surprised at how all of that changed with just an hour incident
I wanted to live my life has a loner, I made myself believe, I didn't need anyone to be happy, I just wanted to be all alone, by myself. Little did I know what fate had I stock for me.
This is lust the beginning of my story.