The warm sun hit my face causing a frown to creep across my face. 'If this bitch don't piss off I'm gonna have a problem,' I practically yelled in my head. The sun paid my complaint no heed as it kept warming up my face more and more.
"Fine! I was gonna wait till that bloody alarm but I guess not," I shouted, shooting up from laying down! My eyes went wide when I saw that I wasn't in my little ol' room anymore.
Surrounding me was a meadow of tall grass. With little burst of colors peeping through from the flowers intertwining in the scenery. Tall trees sparsely stood strong almost propping up the sky. With the sky, such a clear blue, stretching on for miles, and fluffy, white clouds dotting it.
'Ain't this neat. I'll just lay back down trying to get out of whatever damned dream this was.' Time continued to pass as I just enjoyed the grass on my skin and the slight breeze that blew across the meadow.
Then something blocked the sun as the warmth vanished. So out of curiosity I just happen to open my eyes and see this guy. This old guy, white hair with the matching long white beard, kinda old looking.
'What does this old guy want,' I thought?
I sat up and looked the guy over and saw his green robe with a lotus imprinted on it. He held the thick branch with a little green gem on top.
"Hey, how are you," I asked?
The old guy stroked his beard looking puzzled before responding, "Uhhh...Hello and fine. I'm Rick God of life and nature."
"Cool, what can I do for you," I asked with a smile? 'God, damn this guy high up on the totem pole!'
"May I ask you a question," Rick eyed me like I was a little crazy?
"Hit me, my guy."
"Why aren't you reacting more?"
"What do you mean," I wondered. Should I react more?
"You wake up in a field and the first thing you do is yell then lay back down. Now there's an old guy telling you he's a god while you're just way too chill. Why?"
"Just thought I was having some wicked dream."
"Oh, well I'd like to tell you that you are in fact not dreaming," Rick then eyed me like he was expecting something.
"Cool, then why am I here," I inquired. 'Doesn't this whole meeting a god thing come with a divine mission? Too bad for him that's not my style, looks like I'll have to turn him down.'
"You died," Rick said quite bluntly.
"Oh...so no divine mission?"
"Nope."
"And I'm dead?"
"Yup."
"Well damn," I had more pizza to eat back home.
"That's it," Rick asked in awe?
"What's it," I asked? Is dying super bad?
`"Well...people tend to have a more animated reaction. So where's yours? People beg me for life, get angry and threaten to destroy me, or literally anything."
"People have done that," I said dumbfounded. Do people have such big reactions? Also, who was the dipshit that threatened God, the big G, the creator of all?
"I mean yeah and they're quite entertaining," Rick smiled and said.
"I guess they would," I chuckled.
Then there was just silence. He stared at me and I stared at him waiting. Neither of us wanted to break the silence so me being the man I am decided to speak first.
"Why'd I die?"
"Oh yeah, that was an accident. Mort the God of Death went to claim a life and apparently, there were two Duke Boones. You who was born in '92 and the other '82 same day and everything," Rick calmly explained.
"So...I was killed because some god didn't put on his glasses and misread some paperwork," I asked stupefied. Do gods even wear glasses?
"Yup pretty much sums it up."
"Damn." Wasn't feeling too great about being killed by accident but it happens.
"So any regrets," Rick asked in a sympathetic tone?
It took me a few seconds before I said, "There was a girl named Ava. I spent a lot of time trying to get close to her but never asked her out. But hey a dead man can have no woes." But mean am I technically dead?
"That's it," Rick inquired wide-eyed?
"Yeah, why?"
"It's just that most get all dramatic and say they didn't live to their fullest potential. You though. You just don't care, so what gives?"
"Well like I said I'm dead so why care," I responded bluntly
There was a glimmer of awe in Rick's eyes before he said, "So I'm just gonna move on and ask if you wanna be reincarnated?"
"Why can't you just put my back in my body since I was taken by accident?" I mean a god should have this much power, right?
"I want to but cosmic laws that can't be broken."
"But you can reincarnate me?"
"Yup"
"How can you reincarnate me but not put me back in my old body," I stated. Bullshit, I thought.
"Because once a life is snuffed out it can't be brought back," Rick replied rubbing his temples.
"Well that's stupid," I said dissatisfied. New life but no old life come on god.
"Look I agree but can't change things so you wanna reincarnate or not?"
With about two seconds of "Deep" thought I responded, "Sure, why not."
"Seriously, you need to start having more reaction than this," Rick said crunching his eyebrows together noticeably peeved about my lack of reactions.
"How should I react," I asked? I didn't care before why start doing that now.
"Oh I don't know, maybe tears of joy or just something. Please," Rick was practically pleading at this point.
Ok, I'll give you a reaction. A smile crept along my face as I stood up, and quickly found a blue, red, and yellow flower along with some long grass.
I sat down and got to work. Quickly I tied the stems and grass together to form a circle. The flowers themselves were in the front with red in the center, blue to the right, and yellow to the left. I looked up and stared into Rick's now interested eyes.
With a monotone voice and straight face, I said, "I did a thing," I nestled the flower crown into my hair saying, "I am Prince of the Forest. Now fear me."
"Well...that...is certainly...something," Rick stuttered baffled.
"You should make me Prince of the Forest," I stated smugly.
"You know what? I'll just show you out," Rick chuckled and snapped his fingers.
Then a normal wooden door just appeared in front of me. There was no door frame, just a door and a little exit sign hovering over it. The sign is a nice touch.
"Fair enough," I laughed standing up and opening the door.
On the other side, there was just whiteness. Just nothing else but white.
"Damn this is some trippy stuff right here."
"It's wild," Rick said.
I didn't care though and stepped on through with a little wave back.
The other side was just as monotone and boring so I started to walk. And then I walked and walked some more. Honestly, I was getting pretty annoyed so I turned on back around.
Then there was the door like three feet away with a green ENTRANCE sign hovering over the top. 'What the actual fuck is this!? I just spent like two hours walking!'
I scoffed and opened the door revealing a nice relaxing blue sky. Damn, that's a nice sky. So I stepped on through and immediately started falling.
I started looking down and saw an increasingly closer greenfield. I looked back and saw that the sky was getting increasingly farther. 'Think rationally Duke what do you do in this scenario. Come one boy think!'
I flipped onto my stomach and started flapping my arms like crazy. This went on for a minute until the ground was like a meter away.
'So turns out humans can't fly, welp Rick I'll be seeing you in a second.' The ground was pretty much right in front of my face as I let out one final bellow, "SHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!"