Ying Yue closed his eyes and he bit the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from crying.
"I couldn't control myself. I failed everyone. I killed you."
Ying Yue kissed his lover's shoulder and flipped the fishes as Snow laid listening.
"I should have-"
"When you died, Ying Yue, it was as if things were clear of what I had done. There will be no forgiveness I should receive and no amount of atonement I could make to rewrite my wrongs."
"Everyone deserves forgiveness, Ah Li," he whispered and rubbed his thumb over cold skin.
There were more questions he wanted Wang Li to answer, but Ying Yue was placing the pieces of what occurred when he left his husband alone. None of it ease his guilt and regret of his decisions.
"How did I return… I was… in a different world before I returned."
"Were you happy there?"
"I... no. I am happy when I sleep because I dreamt of you. I am happier here with you, my husband."
