Aiko's lips are so soft and I can feel her lips are trembling. The warmth of her breathing hitting the top of my lips and the nice scent coming from her neck makes me feel relaxed and comfortable. But then I realized that what we are doing right now is wrong. I love Erii more but what is this feeling I'm having right now.
I remove my lips from her and walk away slowly. Aiko is covering her lips with her hand. She looks at me feeling guilty. She stands up and about to reach my hand but she pulls her hand back as if she doesn't want to make it more awkward.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I..."
I shake my head.
"No, don't be. It's my fault. I shouldn't be swayed by the mood."
Aiko sits on the bench and looking down and covers her head with her arms.
"I'm sorry... I really am, Aze..."
I'm rubbing my face and exhale deeply. I sit beside her.
"I know. It was a mistake. We both made a mistake."
Aiko lifts her head and staring at the sky.
"But I'm not regretting it, never."
I look at her with confusion. She looks me into my eyes and continues.
"What you said earlier made me realize that I've been waiting for someone to say that to me. I've been waiting for someone to understand what I feel and I realized that you're the person that I've been looking for."
Aiko stands up and stands in front of me. The sun behind her is blinding my eyes. I can't see her expression at all, only a silhouette of her face and her hair that shine under the sunlight. Aiko puts both of her hands on my cheeks.
"I don't mind if you can't be mine. What I want is for you to be there for me when I need you. Please?"
I can't tell the emotion from her voice. Is it sadness, anxiety, or misery? She then backs away and smiles.
"I think I have to go now."
I don't know what to say to her. I'm still processing what just happened. She backs away then turns around and leaves.
I'm touching my lips and thinking about the kiss with Aiko. Then I stand up and buy Hans ice cream for aunt Lisa.
On my way back home. I'm thinking about telling Erii about what just happened, but I don't think I want to tell her. On the other hand, I think Erii should know about this. I don't want to hide it from her because it might backfire on me.
"I'm going to tell her..."
I'm home and put the ice cream in the freezer. Aunt Lisa gets out of her room and sees me.
"Oh? You're back already."
I nod and look at aunt Lisa with worries written all over my face. Aunt Lisa sits down at the dining table and tilts her head.
"What's wrong?"
I sit in front of her and exhale deeply.
"If uncle Hiro gets kissed by a woman on an accident. Would you rather not know about it or would you rather for uncle Hiro to tell you about it?"
Aunt Lisa furrows her forehead.
"I think I get the gist of it."
I look down and rest my forehead on the table. Aunt Lisa is rubbing my hair.
"The more important question is, did you enjoy it?"
I'm humming with an agreement. Aunt Lisa exhales deeply.
"Look at me, Aze."
I lift my head and look at her. Aunt Lisa is pinching my cheek gently.
"Go and tell Erii-chan. She has the right to know. It doesn't matter if it's accidentally or on purpose. Tell her about what happened and let her decide."
I nod and go to Erii's house.
I'm in front of her house but I'm not ready to tell her about it. I grab my phone and call someone that I can tell about everything to that person comfortably.
"Norl-Kun? What's wrong?"
I lift my head.
"Miyazaki-San, can I ask you about something?"
"Sure. Just say it."
I explained to her what happened today. Ritsu clears her throats.
"I see. That was unexpected. What I can say is just tell Erii-chan about it. You felt guilty and yet you enjoyed it. Don't tell her that it was an accident. Don't try to justify what you did wrong and no excuses. But don't tell her that you enjoyed it, it's unnecessary and better left unsaid. Do you understand?"
I nod.
"Yes, Miyazaki-San."
I can hear her assistant is asking her to hurry.
"Give her time to think and process it. Whatever the outcome, you have to take responsibility for that. If she asked you to leave her alone, then respect her wish. I'm sure she will understand when you're genuinely felt guilty about it. So, just hope that she can take it with cold-headed. Anyway, I have to go. I'm quite busy today."
I nod.
"Okay, Miyazaki-San. Thank you for your advice."
Ritsu is humming with understanding and hung up the phone. I exhale deeply and knock on the door.
"Norl-Kun? Please come in."
Erii's mother, Yuka Yamaguchi. She's the same age as aunt Lisa.
"Ah, yes. Ojamashimashu."
I hear footsteps coming from the kitchen. Erii is wearing an apron and holding a kitchen knife. My eyes are wide open for a second. She approaches me.
"You're back already?"
I nod.
"Yeah, I just got home."
Yuka smiles and pats Erii's shoulder.
"You can accompany Norl-Kun now. I will do the rest on my own."
Erii removes her apron and gives the knife to Yuka. Then I follow Erii to the living room. So many trophies and achievements from the judo tournaments she entered. I sit on the sofa and Erii sits in front of me. I clear my throat.
"I have something to tell you about what just happened today."
Erii raises her eyebrows.
"What is it?"
I look at her.
"Aiko kissed me."
Erii smile is now gone and now she's glaring at me with a blank expression.
She's been staring at me for minutes. Then she looks at the walls. She sighs quietly.
"I see. Can you tell me what happened?"
I explained it to her as Ritsu advised me to. Erii glared at me the whole time as if she would know if I'm lying or not.
"I'm sorry that it happened. I came here to tell you because you have the right to know. I'm sorry, Erii."
Erii nods.
"Thank you for telling me."
I nod and smile awkwardly. Erii stands up.
"Let's break up... Aze."
The smile on my face is now gone. I'm shocked and I don't want to believe what I just heard. Erii nods and her eyes are watering. She wipes her eyes while she breathes heavily. Then she smiles.
"I want to be alone, right now."
I approach her and she shakes her head. She looks at me trying so hard not to cry.
"Please...?"
I nod and on my way out. I look back and she's staring at the floor while wiping her eyes.
"Erii, I'm sorry... I love you."
Erii falls to the ground and covering her face with both of her arms and knees. I look at her for a few seconds and then leave her house.
I don't want to go home. So I go to the gym to release the stress in my head.
Togawa is lazing on the couch. He sees me and stands up.
"It's late, why are you here?"
I look at him and exhale deeply.
"Can I just use the gym for an hour or so?"
Togawa is looking at me and nods.
"Yeah, go ahead. I'll grab my dinner and will be back in a minute."
I nod.
"Thanks. I'll go upstairs."
I remove my jacket and wrap my hands with hand wrap. I approach the sandbag and start punching it. The sound of my punches is echoing through the whole building.
I'm thinking about Erii, Aiko, and then the kiss we had. I scream my lungs out while punching the sandbag rapidly.
"Hey, relax! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you going to destroy my punching bag?"
Togawa is approaching me while carrying two instant ramen cups. He grabs the chair and sits on it. He gives me one of the instant ramens.
"Here, eat this."
I'm unwrapping the hand wrap and I feel a sting from all of my fingers and knuckles. Togawa is crossing his arms and staring at me.
"What is it? Woman? It must be about woman."
I grab the ramen and sit on the floor under Togawa. I nod and take a big bite of the ramen, but it's still too hot and I put it back in. Togawa laughs so hard.
"See? You're acting so rashly. Calm down, Aze."
Togawa takes a bite of the ramen but his ramen is still hot as well. He put it back in. We both laugh. He pats my shoulder.
"Tell me what happened. Let this old man hear it."
I told him about what happened today. He laughed and mocked me.
"I see, so that's what happened. You can't blame anyone on that matter, and you shouldn't blame yourself either. It is what it is, so just accept it. I can say that you're just unfortunate that your ex-girlfriend couldn't handle it well. But still, who wants to hear their partner is kissing someone else. Just imagining it makes me anxious and angry."
We talked a lot and I listened to his life experience when he was young. Then he trained me until late at night. I felt a bit better and then he kicked me out after I said that. I looked at the moon and thought about Erii and how is she doing.
I grab my phone and call Ryo.
"Hey... there's something I want to tell you. Can we meet at the convenience store?"