WestPoolChesterShireShire - 2020
In the bloodiest weather imaginable, people were rushing about trying to get home but one large mass had no such inclination. A man so large he'd make a bull tremble walked about with purpose and conviction.
"Oi've got t' reach Gregg's before that gaff closes for the 'rona, might as well stock up on some Sausage Rolls™."
Reaching a zebra crossing, the large man looked both ways then started walking across. Out of nowhere a double decker bus suddenly appeared and was only inches away from him. The only thought he could muster before his quick end was:
"That daft c*nt didn't even name me yet..."
[A/N: sorry mate]
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In a void where recently deceased souls float about peacefully awaiting their judgement, not even aware of the magnitude of such things with their conscience locked away from the lack of a physical body.
Suddenly, an oval aperture golden in colour and and swirling with golden aura around its circumference lit the darkness of the void. And out of that came an old man with a pristine white suit and a snow white full beard that reached his chest.
"Damn it, it seems Jesus is back to his old schtick. sigh~~~ why does he think this truck/plane/bus-kun thing is fun again? Those are way too many souls for me to reincarnate personally, might as well send them to some angels."
And just like that, without any fanfare the souls gained physical form and were sent to their reincarnation counseling.
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Waking up in an all white room the man from a while ago found himself sitting in a chair with a table and a beautiful blonde lady with a blank expression opposite to him.
"So Oi've doid ye? Come on then send us off to 'eaven will ya."
The angel looked at the man and started speaking to him in an almost robotic voice.
"Good tidings to you, mister Bazzer. It would seem you were sent of to the world beyond before your time due to a mistake on Heaven's™ part, so the option of of choosing the Heaven™ after life package is unavailable at the moment."
"Roight, so where does that leave us regular folk 'ere luv?"
"The options available will appear on a holo-screen at once, mister Bazzer."
Suddenly with a sound reminiscent to a light sabre being opened a blue screen appeared over the table listing only two buttons with minimal UI.
[Reincarnation w/ Memories]
[Reincarnation sans Memories]
A lot of people would expect an angel to be a bit less blunt about it maybe even explain in a maternal and gentle way, but the one opposite to him seemingly had no such inclinations. But Bazzer took it in stride and pressed his choice.
"Wouldn't wanna forget the wife and her naggin, now would I? but were would I even be born?"
After picking the first option, Bazzer asked the angel, thinking about the possibility that there wouldn't be a Gregg's location there.
"A world that would have been called fantasy back in yours with Magic, Dungeons and maybe even dragons"
The angel appeared to have a sense of humour even through her automated sounding reply, but the joke was lost on Bazzer due to his day being ruined, he secretly hoped there'd be a similar place in that other world.
"Fine, but I reckon it'll be pretty hard innit?"
"Your worries will be addressed with a holy blessing from me. You will be a demi-god in your own right, but with no immortality. We only need you to live out the rest of your fated lifespan."
"Roight, then. I'm a bit miffed but I'm guessing that's me fate innit? Crack on then lass, send us off will ya."
"Good luck mister Bazzer, and God speed..."
with an explosion of pure light Bazzer was sent off to a world of magic and adventure!