The music throbs, swirling like sweet smoke around me, choking me until I am high on ecstasy. unknown bodies join mine on the dancefloor until we are one and we can't tell whose flesh is whose.
I laugh. I dance. I live.
It is in this moment, the moment before I feel something change—it is then, when everything goes wrong.
Or right I still haven't figured that part out yet.
I now sit at the bar, drumming a lazy beat on the warn out wood, I don't know the time, my phone died hours before but frankly I don't care. I'm letting myself go, at least for tonight.
I'm lost to the sound of the music, I'm in a hypnotic trance, a snake swaying to the sound of its master's flute. But tonight, I have no master, there is no one to hold me back—no one to tell me no.
I sit at the bar, letting the music take me far away, letting that sweet honey drift into my heart—my soul and find a permanent home. I close my eyes, relaxing. It is in the moments I have my eyes close that I become the most vulnerable—the most open, it is in these moments that I let my guard down.
I open my eyes, as if I can sense him, even with the bodies twirling around us like smoke, he is the only one I can feel. I turn my head to face the stranger and I am momentarily stunned and at a loss for words at his beauty—yes, I said beautiful, not handsome, there would be no other way to describe him. he is beautiful.
I must have my mouth open wide gasping like a fish out of water because the beautiful stranger laughs—damn he even laughs beautifully—and brings his hand under my chin to close my mouth.
Warmth spreads through me at his touch and I can't help but look up into his eyes, my eyes widen in shock because they are two different colours, one is as grey as a stormy sky and the other as green as a meadow.
I go to open my mouth to gape, but his hand is still under my chin. I can't look away from his penetrating stare, it feels as if everything slips away and the music fades into the background—it is only me and this beautiful man, a man I have only just met but I can already feel a connection. As if we were meant to be and meeting each other entwined out souls into one.
I can feel him look into my eyes and then through—into the burning heart of me. It feels as if he is reading my thoughts, as if he can peer into my soul and hold me there for an eternity.
I want to whine when he removes his hand from my chin—my skin, it feels wrong to be apart. I don't know why I'm feeling these things but there is something deep down inside me that knows it is right to be with him, some primal instinct that says it is wrong to be apart.
Without his touch everything feels less alive, everything feels colourless and boring. But I shake myself out of it enough to ask him what his name is. His name is just as beautiful as I thought it would be, his name is Luca.
Luca smiles at me kindly and says, "you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen" it makes me blush, I bow my head trying to hide my reddening face. "thank-you" I whisper, "but I'm really not."
He grabs my chin to look at my face and the heat from his touch flows through my body, something about him calms me, as if a beast rages inside me and only Luca's touch can cage it—keep it tame.
"you are beautiful, believe me you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in the entirety of my one hundr—" he cuts himself off and let's go of me, looking away. I'm confused it sounded like he was going to say, 'one hundred', but that couldn't be right because he looks no older than twenty-eight. I go to grab his arm, but he pulls away, I call his name, "Luca…Luca—Luca." I start to get agitated because he is ignoring me, but I sigh, shaking my head, it pounds with the feeling of a toxic alcohol induced headache, " fine, then…" I say, not trying to care about the stranger in front of me but failing miserably.
I slide off my bar chair and begin to walk away, something inside my head screams for me to stop, to turn back and run—not walk—back to Luca. I shake the feeling away and keep walking even though it tears me apart to do so, I grit my teeth taking one step at a time. I can feel the thread of our connection loosen until it becomes little more than dust on the wind.
I scream when someone grabs me by the arm but then I feel that familiar warmth flood me, I know it is Luca. He spins me around and before I can react, he pulls me into his arms and holds me tight, "Luna. Don't leave" he whispers in my ear, I shudder at his closeness but the warmth radiating off him is calming. I don't question the name he called me, because deep down I know it means something significant—something special.
I do the only thing I can think of, I lean into his touch and let his warmth sweep me away.
After a moment he pulls away, though he holds onto my hands gently. His features are sharp, but his eyes are soft, electricity runs through our conjoined hands and the annoyance I had felt moments before melts away.
I smile a self-conscious smile, in his presence I feel weak, my whole being is aware of his body so close to mine.
Without warning Luca pulls me closer, the alcohol in my stomach churns like a raging sea and my head thumps like a drum.
I frown, groaning softy as the full force of my drunkenness hits me. I lean my head against his sturdy chest, though the feel of his heartbeat makes my headache worse. I pull back, my eyes widen as I feel my stomach rise in my throat.
I pull away and run.