I sit here in silence as I plan my mental demise
As all of you look at me in some sort of disguise
I wish you could all take a walk in my shoes and realize
That I sit here on my days off and wish i were like the other guys
Having friends who cared enough to spend just and ounce of time
But instead they all treat me like some disease or grime
Since when did being lonely become a fucking crime
But you all treat it like we're sitting here crying
Try again
Ill gladly sit here and defend my feelings of abandonment
Not like any of you would care about my mental imprisonment
It wasn't by choice, but my past has developed its own government
Over who I am and tries to steal my happiness with all these Arguments
It wasn't my intent to try and experiment with my mental enlightenment with out sufficient amounts of encouragement
As my past sits here and documents
My everyday attempt in resistance
Yes sometimes I need to have some distance
But it kills me inside as it becomes persistent
Starting to feel like I have no existence
As I loose myself. I wont be a remembrance
To those who met me on the journey
I'm sure as hell not worthy
Of any sort of being sufficiently
Being remembered as Happy
That disappeared with all the judgement that's been cast
Upon me by the haunting of my past
I remember always being treated like trash
It's as if I hit a certain point of life and had a crash
There may be no marks on the outside but like at my heart its ben scratched
one to many times that I've lost track
As I start to put all my cloths in a bag and pack
Talk a walk down the road and everything is black
As all these fucking demons make these attacks
At my personal lack
in confidence
The true evidences
Is I hate myself because I feel like I'm never good enough for the world