I ended up spending the entirety of my time there with her – most of it was spent helping her finish the assignment, which we managed to do. Here and there we struck up a conversation to get to know each other better, it was mostly her who initiated a conversation. And from our bit of interaction, it was clear to me that her personality is very different from mine. She was the kind of girl that did not mind letting out her thoughts, but she always treaded her words carefully. We talked a lot about books: what books do we like, which books do we hate, and who was our favorite writer. Again, sitting there with her interacting made me forgot that we were in a coffee shop, and her soft, kind voice soothed me to the point where I was not hesitant to continue the conversation, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Suddenly, my gut felt like it turned inside out, my breathing became shaky, and I remembered what day it was.
"It's already 4 pm huh," I said to myself. But my voice was loud enough for her to hear."
"Oh really? I didn't realize we've been here that long. I guess I might've lost track of time, it sure didn't feel that long."
"Well, I gotta be somewhere this evening, I think it's about time I head over."
"Oh, I guess it's about time I head home as well." She replied. "You know what? This is the first time in a while that I have had enjoyed going out like this. It's not like I don't enjoy hanging out with my friends but sitting here with you I've never once felt that I needed to put my guard up."
I opened my mouth as if to reply, but it felt like the words were stuck in my throat.
"I know it must be weird for you to hear that, we just met after all."
"No, not at all. I've also enjoyed talking with you, it has been a while since I've hung out with anyone really," I finally said. After that, I lit up one more cigarette while waiting for her to put all of her things in her bag, and to save all the files that we'd been working on these past couple of hours. Seeing that we were both going to part ways, created a sort of suffocating dread, hopelessness.
After putting her belongings in the bag, she suddenly turned and said to me "Do you also watch a lot of movies? The thing is…the day after tomorrow there is this movie that is coming out. I had planned on watching it with my friends, but I think I would enjoy it more with you. Would you care to join me if you're free?"
"Yeah, I love movies. It is that Christopher Nolan movie isn't it? I would gladly watch it with you.," I replied, the voice came out of me automatically as if I were not in control of it.
"Great! Here, let's exchange contacts." She said, smiling widely. "By the way, we never introduced ourselves, did we?"
"Oh yeah, I think we haven't" I replied, "my name is Adit."
"Adit, what a nice name!" she said in an excited tone. "I'm Mirai."
We exchanged our contacts, she told me that she would inform the detail tomorrow, and then we parted ways. Wandering the streets pulled me back to my dreadful self and once again I was lost in thoughts. Looking around me, at all the tall buildings that caged us, and of all the people that walking the streets with different purposes in mind, made me feel like I truly do not belong in this world. This was how I always feel about life, about living. I envy those people who have a clear vision of what their path looks like, and those who know where they belong in this spinning ball of water and dirt. Especially living in a bustling city like this made me feel like I was truly disconnected from this life, it always made me think about where did I go wrong to have had lost my place; or even if I had any in the first place. I kept walking forward, looking for the right place to do it, and then I stopped in front of a building that looks a bit taller than the others surrounding it. I went in and climbed to the roof.