Slinking in the shadows had been harder than I thought it would be. Even though I had dodged the particularly large crowds, some villager would still manage to find me, throwing whatever rotten food or mulch they could find.
I ignored them though, my hands constantly fidgeting with the parchment Japeth gave me. I would be long gone from this world soon enough. There wouldn't be any traces that I existed at all. Saying goodbyes were unnecessary, it would be just another doubt as to my decision in leaving the human realm.
I shucked off my cloak and draped it over my arms. It was very well just a piece of shoddy cloth now, stinking with the sweet juices of rotten fruits and the horrible stench of what I could guess was a mixture of mud and horse manure. Creeping around the town square, I averted my eyes from the staring villagers. The midday sun was hot against my back as I quickly navigated my way to the edge of town.
.____________________.
I had been at the line of trees leading into the forest when a voice stopped me, "You know, you do need a shower Eleena."
I smiled, perhaps the last time I would smile. I would recognise that voice anywhere, the calm voice in which I had come to love. "Is that how you say hello Aslan?"
I turned. Indeed, Aslan was watching me from next to a tree, arms casually crossed as he leaned against it. Though he was the son of Japeth, he was still lean and his brown hair had turned shaggy. Relatively handsome, soft-spoken, and reserved, but with a sort of darkness running beneath it all that had us drawn to each other, that shared an understanding of how wretched our lives were and would always be.
He laughed and stepped out of the shadows. "It's good to see you Eleena." I rolled my eyes but I couldn't fight the grin inching onto my face. "Good to see you too Aslan."
We'd vaguely known each other for years—since my family had moved into this village—but I had never thought much about it until after one of my torture sessions where he offered to help heal me. We'd only talked about little things at first, about the crops he brought to the market—and I'd admired the golds and yellows within the basket he bore. Simple, easy, perhaps a bit awkward, but he'd dropped me off at my cottage feeling not quite so ... alone. A week later, I had pulled him into a meadow of yellow wildflowers.
Aslan had been my first and only lover in the two years since. Sometimes we'd meet every night for a week, others we'd go once a month. But every time was the same: a rush of shredding clothes and shared breaths and clashing tongues and teeth. Occasionally we'd talk—talk about the pressures and burdens his father had placed on us. I couldn't say our lovemaking was particularly skilled, but it was still a release, a comfort, a bit of selfishness.
There had always been love between us—at least what I assumed people meant when they talked about love. Aslan had been a support to me as I have been a support for him, two lovers, friends, helping each other.
I dropped down to sit on the grass, motioning for Aslan to join. He gladly obliged, stretching his long legs on the ground. We sat there in peaceful silence for a while, my head leaning on Aslan's slender shoulder. It wasn't long before he broke the silence.
"So, how are you, Eleena?"
"I could have been better, without the Elders torturing me and all," I said. And without having to leave you behind.
"I truly am sorry about that Eleena," Aslan apologised, "my father had never been a considerate man, and he was greedy for more power, more wealth. I don't want to end up like him, Eleena. You made me realise that."
We lapsed back into silence again, enjoying each other's company. The weight of time trickling by was heavy on my shoulders as I sighed. I didn't know how much time had passed, but it must have been a while because when he spoke again, I jolted.
"You are exquisite."
"And so I've heard," I replied teasingly, heat flooding my cheeks.
"No, I am serious. You are beautiful, beautiful and kind, no matter what others might say." He turned to look at me as I lifted my head. " You are my anchor to this world Eleena. Without you ... I don't know if I could live without you."
"I ... I don't know what to say, Aslan," I stuttered. I'd never seen him this sincere before, so serious about the love we shared.
"Then answer this question," he said softly, stroking my cheek, "Will you continue to love me for the years that come?"
I did not hesitate as I replied, "Forever."
"Forever," he echoed and leaned in towards my face, his strawberry lips brushing against mine.
It was gentle—soft. The kiss he might have given me if we'd been granted time and space for all of eternity. I slid my arms around his shoulders, opening my mouth to him, and his tongue slipped in, caressing my own. Forever.
My body shuddered with what might have been a sob and my lips were wet and salty with tears. His kiss was deep and thorough, unhurried and intent yet I had made a promise I couldn't keep. I promise that was destined to be broken.
We broke apart gasping for air. "I love you," I whispered, silent tears rolling down my face. "I love you, Aslan."
"I love you too Eleena and nothing in this world is going to change that," he breathed, resting his forehead against mine. But I knew that wasn't true, it was already too late. I kissed him again, this time rough and searching, let it grow with each movement of his lips and brush of his tongue against mine.
Fresh tears pricked from beneath my closed eyes. I love you Aslan, but forever was not meant to be.
.____________________.
It was too quiet in the cottage as I packed my things. There were just minutes until twilight and I didn't want to contemplate where I was going or what the faeries would do to me. Running would be foolish until it was the right time.
"The venison should hold you for about two weeks," I said to my father as I gathered my clothes to bulk up against the cold. "Start on the fresh meat, then work your way through the jerky—you know how to make it."
"Eleena—" my father breathed, but I continued as I fastened my cloak and slipped my hunting knife into its pocket.
"You can sell the doe's pelt in the market," I said. "Ask Alistair to go, the money would last you for a time, if you're careful." I finally allowed myself to look at my father and brothers, trying to memorise the lines on their faces. My eyes stung, but I blinked the moisture away as I stuffed my numb hands into my worn gloves. "When summer comes, hunt in the grove just east of the bend in Riftburrows Creek—the rabbits make their warrens there. Ask," my voice cracked and a tear slipped down my cheek, "ask Aslan Inerys to show you how to make snares. I taught him three months ago."
It had been hard saying goodbye to Aslan this afternoon. How I would miss his dry jokes, musical voice and his passionate kisses. I hadn't told him of my dilemma of course, I couldn't—wouldn't put him in risk.
My father nodded, covering his mouth with a hand. There was a looming shadow at the door and I knew my time had come. I turned away from my father to see the male faerie by the threshold, casually leaning against the wall.
"We need to leave now human. I don't have much time to waste. I will be waiting outside," he demanded. I made to follow him but paused to look at my brothers, still crouched by the dying embers.
Theodore mouthed my name but kept cowering, kept her head down. So I turned to Alistair, whose face was unreadable yet so cold and unrelenting.
"Whatever you do," I said quietly, "don't tell Aslan about where I am. No matter how much he begs you to, just ... just don't do it." Alistair's face remained impassive, but I added, "I want to protect him as well."
Alistair stiffened but said nothing—both of my brothers said absolutely nothing—as I turned toward the exit. But a hand wrapped around my arm, tugging me into a stop.
Turning me around to face him, Father opened and closed his mouth. Outside, the faerie, sensing I had been detained, sent a warning growl rumbling into the cottage.
"Eleena," my father said, his voice softer than I was used to. His fingers trembled as he grasped my gloved hands, but his eyes became clearer and bolder than I'd seen it in years. "You were always too good for here, Eleena. Too good for us, too good for everyone in this village." He squeezed my hands. "If you ever escape, ever convince them that you've paid your debt, don't return."
I hadn't expected a heart-wrenching goodbye, but I hadn't expected this either.
"Don't ever come back," Father said, releasing my hands to shake me by my shoulders. "Eleena." He stumbled quietly over my name, his throat bobbing. "You go somewhere new—and you make a big name for yourself."
Beyond, the faeries were just a shadow. A life for a life—but what happens if the life offered as payment also meant losing four others? The thought alone was enough to steel me, root me.
The bargain I made with Japeth came raining down on me, reminding me of the deal we made. So I shrugged off his grip and left.
I let the sounds of the snow crunching underfoot drive out my father's and Aslan's words as I followed the faerie into the night-shrouded woods.