It was dark in the room, pitch black in fact. And complete silence covered the whole Cornwall Estate. It was no wonder though, since it was just past midnight and the only person awake was Willow. She had just gotten out of bed and tip toed over to her dresser. Nearly without a sound she opened the bottom drawer, where her father's clothes were still hidden away.
She could hardly believe that it had been nearly 3 years since she had gotten them from the attic. Even since then she would sneak out the house and off the grounds every once in a while. Whenever she felt the need of freedom.
By now putting on her father's old clothing had become a routine. She knew exactly what to do, unlike the first time she sneaked out at night. Oh she would never forget how she had struggled at every little thing that night. But it hadn't been surprising, since all of this had been foreign to her back then.
Willow remembered how she nearly fell over twice when putting on that pair of trousers that she was pulling up her legs right now again. She had lost balance and had stumbled into her dresses, which caused quite a loud noise. She remembered standing there in the dark, holding her breath for what seemed like forever, hoping that she didn't wake anyone. But no one woke and so she continued the dressing process a little later.
It had been really hard to get dressed like a man the first time. Sure, Willow had known how those clothes looked when someone was wearing them, but putting them on in complete darkness and without making a sound had been a whole different story.
Now this whole process was so familiar to her. There was no fear of getting caught while getting dressed in men's clothing anymore. That fright had been replaced by excitement for her nightly excursion.
After Willow had finished putting on her boots, there was only one thing left to do. She twirled her hair up loosely and then hid it under her cap. And she was done. Willow had never seen herself dressed like a man at daytime, but she was quite sure that one would be able to tell that she was in fact a girl and not a man, if it weren't for the darkness, hiding away all the right details. But then again she would have never taken the risk of sneaking out in the broad daylight anyways.
Willow tip toed over to her door, by now managing to open it without a sound. She stepped out into the dark hallway, being careful to sidesteps the creaking pieces of wooden boards on the floor.
That first night, when she had sneaked out for the first time, she had nearly had a heart attack, when she had stepped on one of the creaking pieces of wood. She had been so sure that someone must have woken up and found her. But no one had. And she had stepped on pretty much every single piece of creaking wood in the whole house that night.
Still one could never be too sure and Willow had quickly figured out, where to step and which wooden boards to avoid. She was proud how good she had gotten at sneaking around the house really. It made her feel like that thief from the book she had read all those years back. If she recalled correctly his name had been Robin.
By now she loved the quietness of the house at night. It had scarred her the first few times sneaking out, but now she enjoyed the peaceful silence. She wondered if her mother ever walked these hallways at night. Would she have been someone to do something like that?
Willow knew that they were similar to each other in a lot of things, but she would never imagine her mother sneaking around these very same hallways at night. But it would definitely be possible. Her mother had been her age once too. Maybe she had felt just as imprisoned here as Willow felt now.
Her mother must have loved the Cornwall Estate though. Willow had spent a few more afternoons up in the attic and looked at some more of her drawings. A lot of them showed the house and gardens in a variety of different angles. Then again it was possible that that was just all that her mother ever got to see, because she had been trapped here just as much as Willow was.
A hint of sadness crossed Willow's face. She would never know how her mother felt living here. Whether she enjoyed it or she hated it. Whether it felt like her perfect little world or a golden cage to her. And once again she wished that her father had told her more about her mother. About the person she had been. About all the things that he had loved and adored about her. About those little quirks, that she surely had had as well. About the good and the bad days that they had spent together. Just anything really. Willow so wished she knew more about her mother. But all she was left with, were a few photographs and drawings along with some old clothing and books.
Of course she could have just asked her father about her mother more. But she couldn't stand the pain she saw in his eyes when she mentioned her name. Some days it was hard for him to just look at her, because she looked so much like her mother. He'd mostly leave the estate on those days to spend time with his "friends" drinking and gambling.
Willow had grown up only knowing her father like that. And even though she was to some point used to it, the older she got, the more she realized how bad his state actually had been and - what had been even more worrying - that it had been getting worse every day. She had tried whatever she could to make him feel better. She'd behave well, pick flowers, draw pictures for him. But whatever she did only seemed to make it worse. Looking back at it now, the best thing she probably could have done back then was trying to stay away from him.
He wouldn't let anyone help him deal with his grief and seeing Willow every single day only reminded him that his wife was no longer with him. But Willow had only been a little girl back then. A little girl that needed her father. A little girl that wanted to play with her father and spend time with him. She just wanted him to be happy.
Willow forced herself out of this train of thoughts. It would lead nowhere. She knew that. It would just make her feel sad and guilty. And she refused to make room for those feelings inside her right now. She was about to get a little taste of freedom again tonight. Nothing should ruin this for her now.
She reached the staircase and tiptoed down. The stairs were always one of the hardest parts, since there was no way to get down them without stepping at at least one creaking wooden step. Willow always made sure to put her foot down on that creaking piece as slowly and carefully as possible, so the noise wouldn't be too loud. She stopped for a second to listen for any noise that could sound like someone had heard her, but as expected there was nothing.
Quickly she made her way down the rest of the stairs and then headed down the hallway towards the dining room. From there she would get to the kitchen with the back door that would lead her into the gardens. The rest of the way from the stairs were a piece of cake really. The floor downstairs wasn't so creaky and there were tiles in the kitchen that didn't make even the slightest sound when one would step on them. A small smile of accomplishment spread on Willow's face.
By now the young duchess had reached the back door and was out in the gardens the next moment. It was still quite cold since it was only the beginning of summer. But Willow didn't mind. The feeling of freedom and excitement in her made her forget about the cool fresh air around her.
She took her time making her way through the gardens. There was no need to hurry. Even if someone were to wake up now, she was already far enough from the house for them not to see her.
Willow loved how nature covered itself in a thin layer of hawser overnight. She let her hand glide over a few bushes, that she was just passing. Enjoying the cold water on her finger tips. The moon was nearly full this night and illuminated the Cornwall gardens oh so beautifully. Everything seemed to be glistening due to the thin layer of water it was covered in. It was breathtakingly beautiful to Willow.
Thinking back to the first time she walked here at night. The first time she had walked through those gardens dresses like a man. The first time she felt that sense of freedom and excitement.
She had been so proud of herself for actually making it out the house without anyone noticing. Willow remembered quite clearly how sure she had been, that she would get caught. Someone had to hear if there was a person sneaking through the house at night, right? Well she was proven wrong. And when she thought about it now, it really wasn't so surprising.
The house was old, so naturally the wooden floor and timber would crack every now and then at night, there was nothing unusual about that. And even if someone would have heard her footsteps, they would have probably just thought it was someone getting a glass of water or her brother pacing around the study because he couldn't sleep. That had happened every once in a while and Willow had had to be really careful that he was sound asleep before she went on her nightly trips.
There had been this one time, maybe the third or fourth time she sneaked out, when he was still awake when she had tried to sneak out. Willow nearly got caught that night. She remembered how she had been walking down the hallway, focussing on sidestepping the creaky pieces of wood, when she heard footsteps coming from down the hall. She had barely managed to hide behind the corner, watching as her brother made his way to his room from the study, her heart beating a million miles an hour.
She had been really lucky that night. Really really lucky. After that encounter she had gone right back to her room and didn't even attempt to sneak out again for a solid month. It wasn't until she and her brother got into another fight about something Willow did or said wrong - to be honest she couldn't even really recall what that fight had been about - that the urge of leaving got so big, that it trumped the fear of actually getting caught.
Their relationship really hadn't gotten any better at all in those past years. But by now, Willow had accepted it. The distance between them had gotten just as familiar to her as sneaking out at night. Sometimes she wondered if she should try to approach him. If she should make another attempt of bringing them closer together again. But then she remembered how that had ended the last time and she neglected the idea again.
There had been nights when Willow had been playing with the thought of not returning to the Cornwall grounds. Nights when it had seemed so tempting to just not go back there. But in the end she never dared to actually run away. She knew her disguise wasn't good enough for the daylight and a woman wandering the streets alone... That could go horribly wrong. Willow had read stories about women being kidnapped and taken to other countries to work as slaves or prostitutes. Just the thought of that made a shiver run down her spine. No the risk just wasn't worth it.
Willow remembered how imprisoned she had felt when winter came, after her first summer of nightly excursions. There was no way she could have sneaked out, when the outsides were covered in a layer of snow. Everyone would have been able to see her footsteps the next morning. She had to stay put for all those long winter months. It had been the worst in the first winter. The second one wasn't quite so hard anymore, because she knew that there was something to look forward to. And so she would spend the winter months sitting in the big armchair in the living room, reading every single book she could get her hands on.
Those winter months were so different from the summer months. Willow barely went out at all during the winter. Just being in the gardens made her urge to leave the grounds again so much stronger. Seeing the big old oak tree from afar. But at least she had the books to go on travels, while staying inside beneath the warm fire and drinking tea.
Willow had now reached the very back of the Cornwall gardens and right in front of her was the big oak tree. Her way to freedom. She couldn't help but remember the first time she stood here at night. So full of excitement and with no idea of how to actually climb that tree. She had last done that when she had been a little child and her brother had helped her back then, basically pulling her up into the tree.
The young duchess couldn't help but smile at the memory of herself attempting to climb that tree that night. It must have taken her at least half an hour to even just get up and on the first branch and she had already been exhausted by then. She remembered how she had thought about giving up and just heading back to her room. She had been standing there on the lowest branch for probably about ten minutes, debating on whether it was worth the effort to continue this trip or if it had just been an absolutely stupid idea and she should head back to bed.
But the chance of having a little freedom had been enough to finally gather all her strength again and continue climbing. And she made it up all the way to the point where she could easily step over at the wall that was surrounding the Cornwall Estate. She would never forget that feeling of achievement in that moment.
Climbing down the other side had pretty much been a piece of cake then. She had spent some time trying to find the clearing with the small lake for an hour maybe, but without success. But just strolling through the woods at night had felt awesomely free and independent.
It took another 2 trips until Willow had finally managed to find the clearing with the lake that she remembered in such detail from her childhood. And it had been every bit as beautiful as it had been in her mind. It still was for a matter of fact. So well hidden in the woods, Willow was sure barely any human being even knew of its existence. That made it even more special and magical to Willow. And when the moon would glister in the water of the lake, she felt like she could see the fairies dancing around her.
Willow was planning on going to her special place again tonight. She grabbed onto the first branch and it barely took her more than a few seconds to stand atop of that branch by now. At this point she had way more strength and skills then back on her first night out.
Once again the thought of the thief from the book came to Willow's mind. Was she by now moving as smooth as his movements had been described in the book? She climbed up further in the tree until she reached the branch that was about at the same height as the wall and stepped over at it. From here it was just another step and she would be on the other tree. Wasn't it interesting, how tasks that used to be so difficult could turn into something so natural? And Willow wondered, how no one in all those years had ever noticed, how easy it was to get on and off the Cornwall grounds at night. It was actually a rather worrying thing, if you thought about it. Literally anyone could just climb over that wall and then it was a piece of cake to-
Willow's train of thoughts was rapidly interrupted by a stern voice. "Trying to get on the Cornwall grounds, are we?"
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