Leaning his back to the wall of a crater, he couldn't think of anything else. A loud ringing noise had flooded his eardrums, his eyes widened and trembling, and his hands clenching to his rifle closer towards his chest as he mumbled the words,
"why, why am I like this..."
Kazuto once again could feel fear controlling him, as he could see men in front of him dying as they tried to fight back. Aiming their rifles towards the enemy with all their strength and morale they have left, but it was no use.
They were already dead since they decided to aim those guns. Even though some survived from the gunshots to their vital organs, it would only be a matter of time until those organs would fail, or they would lose enough blood to be wasted.
Only a matter of seconds, the group of men Kazuto was in was now nearly wiped out, with some still fighting a fight that is already inevitable to lose. However, even in a situation like this Kazuto still wanted to fight together with the rest, but he couldn't.
'Why can't I control my body!? I-I already experienced this kind of situation before? So why... why am I still shaking, why am I still afraid, why am I still like this!?' He asked himself, trembling, scared, and petrified.
He then heard a soldier in his right gulping in pain, as his neck was wounded with a bullet while his own blood slowly tries to drowned him down. The dying man gazes towards him with his eyes begging for help, with tears damping his eyes as his hand trembles trying to reach him.
Kazuto thought of helping the wounded man, but he just couldn't. No matter how much he forces himself to, his mind wouldn't follow.
His uncertainty and failure to make a decision lead to the light of the man's glossing eyes faded away. dead and cold. with his blood damping the shoes of the boy he begged who didn't answer.
Kazuto could have done something, he could have helped him, he could have saved him, but why... why did he let the man die? His fear turned to guilt, as his trembling self started weeping unconsciously.
A loud familiar cry of pain soon can be heard in his left, as Otto was shot on the shoulder, bleeding and damping his uniform with blood as he leaned down to the crater.
"Shhhh, Shhhhh... it's all going to be alright, just hold there for a few more seconds," Gunther tried to calm him down, as he slowly wrapped the bandages around Otto's shoulder.
Gunther looked unfazed by what was happening around him, but his voice when he said those were trembling. He was afraid just like Kazuto, but he managed to keep on fighting.
"That's enough Gunther! I can manage myself," Otto replied, as he grunted in pain.
He then slowly grabbed his rifle down the ground. Even though he's already wounded and already unfit to continue fighting, he still aimed the rifle as if everything he had been fighting for depends on it.
"Are you sure you can still fight!?" Gunther asked, with a bullet scratching the top of his helmet, only a few centimeters hitting his skull.
"I might as well fight, besides there's no way out. The fields are nearly surrounded with bullets," Otto said with a prideful smirk.
"Fine, then!" Gunther replied, aiming his rifle as well.
"You!! Get up now, and help us!!" Sergeant Wilhelm yelled towards Kazuto as he swiftly reloaded his rifle, and once again aimed at the enemy and fired.
Kazuto slowly gazed towards the sergeant, with his eyes still trembling and his mouth slightly hanging.
"Huh?" He responded as a single tear in his face dropped to the ground, with a twisted smile written on his face as he slowly chuckled.
"Don't 'huh', me!! Move!!" Sergeant Wilhelm yelled angrily, grabbing the collar of Kazuto's uniform and pushing him further to the dirt he had been leaning on.
With a single push, Kazuto could feel his back hurting, as if his spine would finally break. However, he just gazed towards the sergeant and chuckled further, he had lost it again. His mind, he had gone crazy.
"What are you doing!!? Do you want all of us to get killed out here!!" Sergeant Wilhelm yelled towards him.
"I-I don't want t-to continue this anymore!! I-I just want to go home!!" Kazuto responded desperately, gazing away from the sergeant's horrifying expression.
"You want to go home, huh!? Then use the rifle in your hands and fight for the Confederation. Remember, Walter!! Remember what your fighting for, what we're fighting for!!" Sergeant Wilhelm yelled towards him, with the enemy bullet nearly hitting his skull, scratching his helmet on the side and sparking a small light.
"Remember what I'm fighting for?" Kazuto muttered.
For the first time, Kazuto is now questioning himself if is it still worth going on this path he still has no clue of.
All this time he was just a normal high school student living his normal life like anyone else until he was transported into this world, not knowing the reason why.
He's been fighting for what? He's been fighting for nothing. He's just following orders of older men much more intelligent than him, in hopes of a victory.
He knew his life isn't sold for winning a battle that he isn't even too kinned of winning, so why is he still fighting? Why is he still moving forward?
Until there, it ticked.
He remembered what the girl in white had told him, 'someone is waiting for you there in the city of Mettis,'
Kazuto fearful eyes became constricted, with his eyebrows clenched down. His trembling hands gripped tightly to his rifle, as he glared towards the death that might await him to go forward further to no man's land.
He swallowed all of his fear, killing it deep inside of him that it no longer can control him.
"I can't believe I'm being influenced by a little girl!!" Kazuto muttered to himself.
He forced his body to stand up and rushed to the frontlines. The first artillery piece had been fired towards the enemy trenches, and soon more had gone falling down to the front lines. Raging the fields with fire and death.
Yet He ignored everything. He ignored anything that had gone close to piercing his abdomen or skull, anything that had gone related near his death. He ignored men crying in pain, soldiers yelling for help, and exhausted men lying down on the ground in agony.
All of it, he just ignored, like a myth, a dream, a nightmare. However, all of this was the true reality he is living in, and yet he kept on ignoring it and just kept on moving forward.
"What did you say to him, Sergeant Wilhelm!!? Do you want him to die so badly!!" Otto yelled, covering Kazuto as he pulled the trigger of his rifle.
"It's his own decision, and I won't argue to a single bit to what path he will take as long as it will benefit us all," Sergeant Wilhelm replied, firing his rifle as well.
Soon a loud yell of morale and anger rushed behind them, as they could see thousands of soldiers rushing to the front lines.
Hundreds of them started dying against the machine fire coming from the enemy, but that didn't stop them in the slightest. They just kept on running forward, with their spirits not calming down even when they see their comrades dying in front of their own eyes.
"Let's join them now!! This is our chance to seize the trenches!!" Sergeant Wilhelm yelled running forward together with the rest of the fourteenth division.
Gunther and Otto run forward as well, and so does the other two infantrymen who survived with them.
With the support from behind, Kazuto managed to be the first one to reach the enemy trenches and dropping down into the wooden made floors unscratched.
The elves gazed towards him in shock. However, it didn't took long until the elves start aiming their rifles to try to kill him.
However, with his weapon, Kazuto was much more faster and efficient than the elves, as all he needed to do was aim his gun, pull the trigger, and again pull the bolt.
He repeated this process multiple times and had no need to focus on accuracy, as the elves were only a few meters away from him. While he yelled in anger as he did this all, panicking and not knowing what to do next but kill.
However, his madness of killing had to end at some point, as when he pulled the bolt of the rifle the sixth time, the clip just flew away with no more bullets left intact into it.
Kazuto gazed towards the clip, with his eyes widened and trembling in fear yet again as he would die only a matter of seconds if he wouldn't do anything.
He could have simply grabbed some clips from his pocket and reloaded and once again fight back, but he didn't. The fear he once hid manage to control him again, as he just stood there fully petrified. Not knowing what to do next
The last remaining elf decided to take the chance, as he placed the bullet to his rifle and aimed at Kazuto, with his expression filled with anger and hatred.
However, before the elf could even manage to pull the trigger, a bullet pierced through his skull, killing him, as Adolph glared towards the elf he had just killed with a disgusted expression written on his face.