Beads of sweat rolled down her ear. Her eyes kept a focused gaze in front. The sharp 'thwack' of wood against each other and the labored breathing from the two sparring were the only whispers of the breeze. Their feet shuffled on the grass, one composed while the other desperately trying to gain footing.
The other couldn't achieve anything else. Rather, she danced right into his whatever he so desired.
The gap in both skill and talent was too wide that even bridging seems impossible to her.
"Your stance is the reason why you keep losing your balance, fix it! Also, your sword placement is too low this time, you look awkward, fix it. And why are you focusing on my hand movement? That's wrong!"
Well done, Sherlock, how obvious. She rolled her eyes. "Then instead of saying it wrong over and over again, why can't you just say the right thing to do so I can fix it properly next time. What am I supposed to be? A detective? I can't keep guessing the exact position you wanted me to do without telling the exact specifications."
"I already kept instructing the right directions but you still get it wrong," he argued.
"What do you mean? All you were saying was 'You did it wrong, fix it!' and 'What in celestials was that supposed to be?'. Aren't you a teacher? Then teach me properly instead of sassing me with sarcasm. How am I supposed to know what I'm doing?"
Arguments like this with him were unavoidable. And here, Adeleine thought that Kellie's replacement would be some good professional master, not a student with temper issues and a hard-to-get attitude.
Days already went by and the seemingly hectic schedule turned into mundane tasks for Adeleine. Attend her classes. Deal with the mir rankers' weirdness. A quick trip to the library. Go to her private lessons. And finally, retire for the day.
All wonderful except the last. The constant nightmares still plagued her like a ravaging beast, and sometimes, a silent lurker with a deadly grip.
It was nirvana. She would jolt awake in the middle of the night, covered in layers of sweat, breathing heavily. She would be fortunate enough if she could sleep again after that, only to be plagued by nightmares once again, or she would stay up all night curled up, staring at nothingness.
Neither of the two was doing her any good. It only withered her away.
Why does she keep having them? Is there any meaning?
Mother... She kept appearing... Has her soul really transcended? If so, why does she keep bothering her, still?!
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much. She's exhausted. Tired and hurt. She wanted to rest.
Please...for just one night.
She didn't know who she was begging to, whether it'd be the Sun Celestial, or the Moon...or whether her mother—she wanted it to stop.
She gripped the pillow and slammed it over her head. "Make it stop. Make it stop! Stop!"
Her screams were, fortunately, muffled by the thick sheets. Someone might burst through the door if they ever heard it and get the wrong idea, then she'll have to go through the trouble explaining the stupid reason too. She doesn't have the energy for that.
Not when they even asked what nightmares were... She didn't know whether they were genuinely ignorant or it was just a jest like what they always treat to a matter at hand.
It made her wonder...do they even experience it?
Exhausted by the constant turmoil and unresolved questions, she figured she needed a fresh change from this stuffy room. She kicked her blanket and begrudgingly stepped foot outside the cold hallway. It was dark and dead silent.
Her fingers tightened on the lock of the shawl draped on her shoulders as the cool breeze brushed the tips of her hair. Trees sway as if beckoning her, welcoming her in their embrace. The dim moonlight from the current crescent patron kissed mother nature, bathing her in a silver ethereal glow.
She felt alone, but she felt like she belonged.
Her feet moved on their own while her mind was preoccupied with thoughts. Where was she headed, she doesn't know.
The faint sound of gushing water lulled her in and filled the growing serenity. She didn't know there was a stream nearby.
She swept a bush aside and the water reflected crystal shimmers under the moon's half-asleep gaze. Feeling a sense of déjà vu, she knelt down and cupped her hands, splashing her face with water.
"Cold, cold," she shivered. The wind's touch was like a mint to her wet skin.
She didn't expect it to be that cold or she was too lost in thought that she did it without thinking. It reminded her so much...the peaceful times, that she would want to go back.
She felt free, unburdened, much like before it all happened. Away from prying eyes, away from complications, away from worry, away from...everything.
"Moon, I wish you were here..."
She closed her eyes and bathed herself under the silver glow. A sudden movement to her left; footsteps rustled the leaves.
Her hand instantly reached for a knife inside her basket, only to come up both empty-handed. She had no knife, nor did she have a basket.
She spread her knees, instinctively going for the defensive. "This is really giving me major déjà vu."
She had nothing equipped but her poor knowledge of close combat.
Her eyes panicked around her surroundings.
If it was an opportunist waiting to finish the job from last time or someone to take revenge, she had all reasons to strike them. But the question lies in whether she could actually take them down, much less, put up a fight.
The silhouette rushed past between the trees, using the terrain to their advantage and the darkness to mask their presence. Adeleine knew this tactic; it was often used by predators in the wild, and right now, she's the prey.
Her heartbeat counted the seconds that passed. It was louder than ever. Almost overpowering all her senses.
Her breath hitched. A scream tore her throat as she felt her body soar, her back hitting the ground.
She struggled free from their grip, clawing at their hand on her neck while throwing slaps a couple of times to throw them off.
"You—" she paused, learning the identity of the perpetrator.
"It's you." Both of them said. Staring at each other, their eyes wide.
Adeleine was the first to break the lock in the spellbind and hooked her boots to his gut. It sent Clandes flying, however, he smoothly rolled on his back in a quick motion to regain his footing. He skidded, one knee planted on the dirt, and he went to a full stop. He lifted his head and gave her a disapproving scowl to which she returned with a glare.
It pissed her how the boy merely brushed it off and instantly recovered whilst doing it with such aloof charisma. He's supposed to be in pain, dammit!
"Are you here to kill me now?"
"No, I was here because I was chasing an annoying bug buzzing around here for days," he said, dusting his sleeves. "And it turned out to be you. What are you doing here?"
"Bug?!" Adeleine gasped, offended. "I was minding my own business when suddenly you attacked me out of nowhere! You're the annoying bug here!"
"But you shouldn't be here at this hour."
"...why?"
"Don't ask why, go back to sleep." He harrumphed and turned away. It was when Adeleine noticed he was still wearing his full uniform.
"Why are you still..." she trailed off, unsure whether it was worth asking or she was wasting her saliva. It was hard to stop when curiosity takes over.
"Stop asking and go back to sleep."
She kept her lips tight and adjusted the shawl over her shoulders. Her eyebrows met. "I can't sleep."
"Then that is not my problem."
As he opted to leave, Adeleine hastily followed after him. Clandes felt a slight tug from his back.
"Can't you at least help me out? Aren't you supposed to be my master? I'm going to tell Kellie about the awful mean things you did."
Clandes scrunched up his face. "What are you, a child? Don't mistake my role as your guardian, I'm only your assigned teacher. I won't do the same as inibiki does for you," he spat bitterly.
"I just wanted to know! Is it my fault that whatever clue I try to dig up, I always ended up getting more questions?" The ball in her throat was getting hard to swallow, it almost felt like tears would threaten to spill if she were to open her mouth again. She paused, needles puncturing her voice, and painfully gulped.
Taking a deep breath, she dared to add more. "Why is everyone so secretive? I was just merely asking. Does it hurt to humor my question for once?"
She hated how her voice cracked at the very end. It made her sound desperate...she is.
She just doesn't want her to show this kind of display—this pathetic display—right in front of him, right in front of everyone.
He gave her a side-glance, sighing. "You're too curious for your own good. You do know that you are a Letherian, right?"
The realization struck her like falling off and being beaten by the heavy and thunderous water of Nirvana Falls. It's worse than it hurts. It hurts that it makes your heart squeeze and that you had no way to ease the pain, you can only bear it, but sometimes, it's too hard to bear... that even Kellie, whom she trusts, wouldn't trust her the same.
"All because you're a Letherian..." she repeated his words. A hand over her face.
Kellie knew she wouldn't betray them; Kellie knew she wasn't with Letheria; Kellie knew but... "Not even Kellie...would tell me a thing..."
She stood there, defeated. He could feel the grip on his coat loosen. She hung her head low as she slowly took steps to follow the flowing body of water.
"How far is the pond at the end of this stream?" she said in a low whisper.
"...not too far."
Then she started walking animatedly. She only wanted to get away, not add more.
True to what he said, she arrived shortly in a small clearing with a pond. Clandes also followed her, much to his own surprise. He wasn't planning to, but the sudden odd behavior threw him off that he had to make sure nothing will happen to the girl, or he would have to take responsibility for it.
And, he was curious about one thing.
"What are the things she did not tell you?"
She sniffed, pausing before replying, "I already forgot."
Clandes crinkled his brows, pure aggravation was written all over his face. His jaw hung in disbelief. Just how... just how? How?
Why did he even bother? He was this close to leaving this girl in the woods. She's fine anyway. He had been patrolling around and nothing thus far was out of the ordinary. Surely, she wouldn't be screaming her lungs out in danger a minute later after he left...right?
When Clandes stood up and dusted his pants, he paused and sat back down again. Whether it was a gut feeling that came over him, he stayed. Inibiki would undoubtedly reprimand him if she caught wind of it.
Adeleine looked at him, eyes curious but glazed with confusion. She was sure he was ready to leave a while ago, what changed his mind...?
He heaved out an exasperated sigh.
What on Arvistia prompted him to stay?
Both asked the same question to themselves, but neither uttered a word. They were too absorbed in their own fleeting thoughts and reasoning.
She turned to the pond and sat at the edge, the weight of everyone's distrust finally took a toll on her mind.
She didn't want to pry. She doesn't care what he does as long as it doesn't harm her. Besides, the recluse boy wasn't one who would easily disclose his thoughts if she asked. Like he said, she's a Letherian. Having your thoughts open would only endanger you, make you invulnerable, and easy to be a target.
In this world of a landmine, it only takes one step for it to meet your end.
Fireflies hovered above them, acting as stars in the canopy-covered sky. Adeleine peered at the pond's reflection and stared at her own image. The same curved diamond pupils stared back for the millionth time. She looked the same as anyone else.
Her eyes traced Clandes' image beside her, who also peered down, compelled to do the same. A tiny bubble popped on the water's surface and rippled, distorting their images.
He had silver hair, white as the full moon, skin as dark as the night sky; he doesn't have golden hair, yet, he's still an Adhelian... What makes her different?
"Why...why are you not different?"
"...would you rather be the same as them?"
"No... I just don't want to be bothered, don't want to be cast out for being different."
"It sounds just as the same as wanting to be a part of them."
Adeleine's looked at him and said, "Is it bad to want to be a part of something?"
"It's better to know that you'll never belong than to force yourself to belong." A faint coldness of smoke traveled to the tips of his finger as he traced the surface. It left temporary frosts in its wake before dying down. "It only sets you up in disappointment. So don't bother."
Her fist hardened. "You don't know what it feels like."
"Oh, I know what it feels like. The feeling of being a part of a group—" Adeleine slapped him.
"If you're here just to rub it in—"
He grabbed both of her hands that were on his collar and shook them off. "But those people refuse to accept you." Adeleine faltered at his words. "Or had to oblige that they're grouped with you. If that was the feeling, then you had no reason to slap me."
She could see the faint glimmer riddling behind his crimson eyes. A burning emotion...was it rage or amusement? Only he would know. But one thing was for certain: he had a smile of bitter resentment masked within his display of sadistic glint.
Was it from her tactless act or was it a layer for the words he spouted?
Adeleine was quiet for a moment before muttering a soft, "I'm sorry. I thought you were going to be a jerk."
Clandes scrunched his face in utter unfairness.
"If you're truly reflecting on your actions, allow me to return the favor."
"What favor?" Adeleine didn't know what he was talking about.
He raised his hand and she realized what he meant.
"No, no, no, no, that would be unnecessary." She shook her head fervently, suppressing the nervous laughter bubbling in her stomach. "It was a mistake on my part."
"Then how about your misjudgment of me being a jerk?"
"I mean, that one was true." The scowl on Clandes' face got deeper so Adeleine quickly followed, "But, just a tiny-tiny bit."
He's doing it again. His brows. Adeleine could almost run a train over it at how glued it was together.
But who would have thought... an Adhelian claiming the feeling of estrangement from its flock...
She had a hunch. "Does it have something to do with your appearance?"
"...no."
"Eh, then what is it?" she exclaimed, surprised.
"...I just don't like people."
Adeleine looked at him with deadpanned eyes. This guy... He's messing with her. And here, she thought it'd be something tragic, she would have been sympathetic. Instead, this guy deliberately chose to suffer on his own.
"Although, it still had me wondering..." she said, changing the subject to her favor, "About your hair..."
Of course, he sighed. He already anticipated it. There's no way she wouldn't try to jump into it. He noticed her couple of attempts to find the subtle but perfect insert for that subject, but she now she gave up on trying and went head straight for it.
"Didn't you ask inibiki this?"
"Yeah, but she didn't tell me..." she looked down on her lap and pursed her lips.
He paused, in slight shock.
Adeleine observed but, in contrast to what people told her, his thoughts were written all over his face. This social recluse was much more expressive than he was given credit for.
"I thought she would tell you..." he mumbled. He was sure that Kellie would have given on how she treats her like a daughter.
"Would you tell me why?"
Clandes hesitated, carefully selecting his words. "It's something that could not be disclosed that easily. Not even the other Eskas know. It could be...taken as something that could cause a major dispute. It's best to keep the bearer of such knowledge have their lips sealed."
"If most of your people doesn't even know, then why do you know?" she tilted her head in his direction.
"That's for me to know."