"I-" I pulled my eyes from him and felt a feeling of unease flow through me. "I'm sorry." I said. "Amah told me not to meet people in the eyes. Especially, men." I shook my head."I didn't realize it was such a bad thing."
Altan watched me quietly before answering. "Meeting someone's gaze is something only reserved for close relationships." I nodded my head and thought that he might be angry with me. But, really, he sounded more concerned. "You should only meet the eyes of women who you know are of lower rank than you, and men you are very close to... and since you have no family that you can remember, that means that I am the only man you should look at like that."
I squeezed my hands together nervously. Was I being scolded?
~How am I going to survive in this world? My manners alone are enough that they could get me killed.~
I looked at Altan and he stared past me to the red sky of the desert as if in deep thought.
~Maybe it's better that I stay in the Palace... If I'm with Altan, he will at least keep me safe... But, will that last forever? What about when he takes other wives? What if he favors his other wives over me?~
My mind ran to different movies and TV series I had watched on the life of emperors who had multiple wives. In those stories, the husbands always felt they had the authority to punish their wives. Especially when there was drama among the wives, which usually came from jealousy over who the Emperor favored.
~What if Altan was the same way?~
I already knew he was capable of hurting people. And he could hurt people far worse than what I had seen today, I was sure of that. But would he ever do something like that to me?
"You must truly be from the gods." Altan spoke and brought me from my thoughts.
"What?"
Altan didn't look to me as he answered. He stared over the desert and the red from the sky reflected in his eyes. "You did not come from Pani Rastra." he said and my eyes widened.
~What does he mean by that?~
"You don't even seem like you are from this world sometimes." he went on. "It's as if the gods plucked you from the sky and planted you in my path so I could find you."
I swallowed.
How could he have guessed this?
I mean, the gods hadn't plucked me from the sky. It was more like the universe had taken me from my old body and placed me in this new one.... But, in the end, how different were these two theories? The biggest difference would be that what Altan had claimed was that I was put on this planet with the purpose of marrying him...
~That's ridiculous~
"It may sound crazy." Altan said as if reading my thoughts, "But I feel so sure of it." he took his eyes off the desert and found mine. And in that moment, I felt the intimacy of the gesture: he never looked women in the eyes, but he looked at mine.
My mouth unhinged slightly, and I felt a warmth in my cheeks that I wasn't sure came from Altan's eyes or the setting sun. "Your Grace, I-"
"I know," he smiled, "You're not sure if that's the case. I can tell you're apprehensive about our marriage." he looked back to the setting sun. "But, I will be a good husband. And every woman in Ot Ulut will envy you. I have been known as the most eligible bachelor in our country for a long time."
I found myself chuckling despite everything. "Is that supposed to convince me to marry you?"
Altan raised a brow at me, and seemed pleased with my smile, "I was hoping it might help."
I looked out to the desert as well and let the small smile I was wearing linger on my lips. "Well, you are sorely mistaken, my Duke. I have no desire to marry a man only for his looks."
Altan's dimple appeared as his smile deepened, "I see," he said, "Then, I will have to convince you through my wonderful personality." the back of his hand brushed mine and I almost fought the urge to reach for it. "Luckily, we still have a few more dates before we are married, my duchess."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The mood lightened significantly as the sun set. Lanterns lit the streets below us and the stars appeared in the sky overhead one by one. Altan and I sat on the roof eating the meat skewers I bought and watched the forming galaxies overhead.
The air chilled with the desert night, and I welcomed the warmth of Altans body beside me. I scooted the tiniest bit closer to him so that his arm touched mine, then followed his gave to the sky and the waxing crescent moon that hung among the stars. Here, there was a single moon. Just like on earth. But the moon that orbited this world had a slightly red tint to it. Or perhaps that was just the reflection of the desert.
"Do you know the constellations?" I asked and wondered if it was even a thing in this world to have them.
"I know a few." Altan admitted, "My father taught me about that one." he pointed a finger to the sky and I tried to follow where he pointed. It was three stars that formed a triangle. "The great wave of Jala."
"Jala?" I had learned about him... "The god of the Water Mages?"
Altan nodded, "Many years ago when the Earth Mages were discontent in being nomads they tried to take over a city in Pani Rastra. A war raged for weeks and it looked like the Earth Mages would take the city. So the god, Jala, sent a great wave to the city. It wiped away the Earth Mages, and the city was returned to its original owners. It is said that the tip of the wave was so tall that it moved the stars above it into that shape."
I smiled at the story. And wondered at the stars, and constellations, and other stories that probably molded the culture of this world. The stars here were so plentiful. There were more than I had ever seen on earth. Even with a telescope.
"It's beautiful." I whispered, as if the mere sound of my voice could ruin the beauty.
"You like the stars?" Altan asked and turned his head to me.
I nodded my head but didn't turn to meet his gaze. We were sitting too close, and if I were to look at him, we would likely only be inches from kissing.
"It must be in your blood." he said, "Water Mages are seafarers and they use the stars to guide them when they sail."
I smiled, "There is just one problem."
"What's that?"
"I get really sick on boats." I laughed and unthinkingly took my eyes off the sky.
"I guess that would be a problem." Altan chuckled too.
I stilled when I met his eyes. Just like I had suspected, we were too close. If I just leaned a little in his direction, I could kiss him...
not that I wanted to....
"You are beautiful when you smile." Altan said quietly. "You should do it more often."
My heart jumped up at his words, and my feet jumped with it. And suddenly I was standing and distancing myself from him.
~This date is suddenly going too well.~
I shook my head at my fluttering heart.
~What the hell am I doing? I am not going to fall for this guy. No. I'm not allowed. I will absolutely not let myself get so close to him again. And my heart will not flutter like that again.~
"It's getting late." I said to Altan and hoped that my face wasn't as red as it felt. "We should probably get back to the Palace."
Altan stood as well and wiped the dust from his trousers. "I agree" he said, and began toward the steps that were in the same direction as me. "But, there is one more thing I want to do before we go back."
I looked to him to ask what it was, but before I could form the words, my question was answered.
Altan stood before me, slipped his hands inside my headdress, and placed his palms on my cheeks. My headdress fell off my hair in that instant, and he pulled me to him and took my mouth in his.
Suddenly my breath seemed to stop, and it felt like the world below me had fallen away. As if my feet were now dangling over nothingness and the only thing tying me to this world was his warm lips that slowly encased mine.
There was nothing forceful about the gesture. In fact, I'm sure if I had had the common sense to pull away I could have. But Altan's lips reminded me of stepping into a hot sauna when it's snowing outside. There was comfort, warmth, safety, and some other feeling that I couldn't quite place.
He took my lips in his, and his warmth traveled through every part of my body. His thumbs moved slightly along my cheekbones, and I tried to stop a shutter from running through me. His eyelashes fluttered against my skin and I found my eyes closing in the comfort of his touch.
He kissed me.
Slowly, tenderly, and sweetly, as if he wished to savor it.
Maybe it lasted for an eternity, or maybe it only lasted for a few seconds. But I knew that when he was done, -when he pulled away from me and it felt like my feet were on solid ground again- that however long the kiss had been, it wasn't long enough.
I stared at him as he took his hands from my cheeks and moved my headdress back over my hair: fixing a little bit of the mess he had made of me. He stared back at me with eyes as warm as his kiss had been.
"Your lips taste like honey." he whispered, "Just like I thought they would."
~Dear god.~
I wanted more.
And that scared me more than anything.