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The Undead Snake

LittleLol
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Synopsis
Lin Lanyu is done. He not only hasn't got his wish of eternal rest, but was put in a body with this disagreeable system that seems to contradict him at every turn. Well, it doesn't matter he just wants an easy life where he can relax all day long. That life looks like it is within reach nothing should happen, right? I'm not really sure how to write a blurb without giving spoilers or writing part of the first chapter. Also, this is my first novel so please don't come at me about any writing errors or short chapters. Another thing the romance part won't come in for a little while because I want the MC to get used to a cultivation world first. Also because plot armor. Thank you! Title may change. Cover is a placeholder. Also a few small things, Chinese is not a language that I speak well(I can speak a little but not a lot), I am terrible at english so please forgive me. Edit: I want to restart working on this after 3 years, but I don't know if I still have the notes for it so I will write a few more chapters and see if I can reignite the spark.
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Chapter 1 - Meanie System

Lin Lanyu slowly closes his eyes as a fuzzy feeling absorbs him. The empty pill bottle slips from his hand landing with a clatter on the carpeted floor of his small room. The Nuns would be in soon to get him up for breakfast and they would be horrified to find a gorgeous 16-year-old boy who had made an impulsive decision that this world wasn't worth staying in.

A tiny little wisp of light arrives in a flash shifting around. Huffing, the light moves over the boy and inspects its new host. Moving closer it flickers as if conveying something to someone.

Little Wisp of Light: I have concluded my new host seems kinda dumb or naive... I haven't decided yet. Oh well if he was chosen by the great me, then he couldn't be that bad, right? Oh well, it's either him or going to work in management, and I ain't cut out for paperwork.

Moving to Lin Lanyu's small nose it suddenly rushes up his nose and starts moving about inside gathering the pieces of the soul. If any of the Nuns were to have arrived at this moment because of the flashes of light they would have concluded that he was truly blessed by God for such strange things to happen to him. Having gathered all the pieces to Lin Lanyu's soul the light emerges from the nose again slightly bigger this time and disappears in a flash of light.

*******

A nose twitches slightly, an eyelash flutters, and a mouth twists in displeasure.

Lin Lanyu: The hell! What happened to my eternal rest? Why won't those stupid Nuns let me die!

While silently cursing some Nuns who had already found his body and were holding a small funeral for him, he takes in his surroundings finding himself on an uncomfortable bed he sits up glancing anxiously around. Finding an ornate table and stools as well as a jade tea set sitting elegantly upon the table reminding him that one thing a body needs to live is water. He rushes over quickly pouring some stale tea into a cup and downing it in one go. This process continued for a while until Lin Lanyu's thirst was completely quenched. Though he wanted to die, he refused to die a suffering death, and death by dehydration was not very peaceful.

As he was no longer about water Lin Lanyu's anxiety started to kick in. Anxiously walking toward the door he flinches as a squeaky high-pitched voice yells in his head.

Yet to be named wisp of light: 'What do you think you're doing? If you haven't noticed you aren't where you were and now you just decide to rush outside where there are probably people.' Ughh! My host truly is stupid. Poor me! I'm Nuna and I'm your wonderful, fantastic, amazing Demonic Cultivation System. Are you an idiot? Do you think you are in a sitcom? Just storm right on out there! Either way, you need to know what's going down right now. First, your identity is Lin Lanyu although unlike you, he is a rare cultivation talent. You are also the second son of the sect leader of the Lin Sect which is considered one of the top five sects on this continent, though at this point anyone could claim that the top five sects are just kingdoms with a little bit of cultivation sprinkled in. His personality is very energetic, usually smiling, and doesn't like schemers and the such, this is important make sure you remember. So I'm here to make sure you become the best you can be. One last thing: don't tell anyone that you aren't him, ok? Ok. At least we won't get exorcised... again.'

Ending her spiel Nuna would be out of breath if she had lungs but alas she did not and thus she was as lively as ever giving Lin Lanyu a slight -major- migraine.

Lin Lanyu: '...' Do you think she'd be mad if I asked her to repeat that?

Nuna: '...You didn't listen, did you? All you need to know is no cursing. Lin Lanyu was known to be forgiving and cheerful, don't switch up on a dime.'

Lin Lanyu: 'Wait, idea. Being one of the top five sects means my daddy got dough, right? I'm like basically a prince! Does that mean I can spend my time doing nothing? Also, why do I feel you aren't evil even if you are a Demonic Cultivation System?'

Moving to get up...

Nuna: '...Yes.' The file said he was an honest, energetic, and generally a happy person. What lies were those? -_-

Suddenly a gasp sounded from the door followed by a clatter. Forgetting all about the unanswered question, Lin Lanyu glanced over at the sound, and doesn't even get to register anything as his legs are hugged by a person whom Nuna decided to deem mentally insane, wearing a deep blue traditional robe.

'Mentally Insane' Man: "Second Young Master! *Sniffle* We thought we lost you, Sect Master *Sniffle* and First Young Master have been searching high and low for the traitor. *Sniffle* Don't worry Sect Master is fully healed because *Sniffle* he got a much smaller dose than you."

Nuna then realized that she had not given Lin Lanyu the memories of the old Lin Lanyu.

Nuna: Shoot! 'Don't say anything stupid I'm begging you. Thank him for his concern and send him on his way with the excuse of resting.'

Lin Lanyu: 'Hey! Why would you assume that I would say something stupid.' So little faith!

Nuna: '...' I just have a feeling that you have a track record of stupid things.

Smiling warmly Lin Lanyu gently pulls the man up.

Lin Lanyu: "It is alright, I am fine. Though I am quite tired so I will retire to my bed."

Nuna: Bro, bro, bro hold up! Your little crazy friend is blushing! Don't tell me my host is oblivious enough to not see such a thing. Ayah! Host, you have been in this world for less than twenty minutes and you already have a suitor! You do work fast! At this speed, you might be able to just seduce a bunch of people then kill them and turn them into your corpses!

'Corpse' Man: "O-of course Second Young Master! I'll clean up this mess while you retire."

'Oblivious Seductress' Lin Lanyu: "Thank you."

Still smiling warmly Lin Lanyu turns around and retreats to bed. Laying down suddenly his migraine multiplied tenfold. The cause: Nuna because what else? Nuna had sent 16 years of memories without saying anything. Taking a while to process all the energy Lin Lanyu who had never been good at studying fell asleep.

Nuna: Eh! He fell asleep! Hey, you ain't done yet! I haven't figured out who the other-- wait is that him!

Nuna had come across a memory of a 7-year-old Lin Lanyu defending a 6-year-old Ning Zhong from a group of bullies. She then sees how Lin Lanyu practically begged his father to test Ning Zhong for cultivation talent. Seeing how Ning Zhong held very little talent but due to the apple of the sect leader's eye, Lin Lanyu's, insistence he was accepted into the sect.

*******

Lin Lanyu woke up to the sound of Nuna nagging him. Sitting up and rubbing his eyes he dejectedly accepts his new reality of an uncomfortable bed and nagging system.

Nuna: '-ake up~! You're finally up, someone could've taken you as a corpse for how you sleep! Now we have lots to do, so first I've actually never seen the status page.'

Lin Lanyu: 'Elaborate.'

Lin Lanyu was in no way a morning person, nor was he used to being woken up by a voice he couldn't cut out because this one was in his head.

Nuna: 'Think status! Dumb-dumb' I take it back. He's worse than dumb he's truly oblivious.

'Dumb-dumb' Lin Lanyu: 'Nuna you're such a meanie system. Ughh!"

Groaning Lin Lanyu thinks 'Status' a bright blue screen appears right in front of his face. With a very girly shriek, he smacks it and it gets pushed back but stops when it hits the bed. Whilst Nuna was laughing her non-existent butt off Lin Lanyu slowly crawls toward the screen. Moving the screen back up to where it is comfortable to look at he begins reading it.

Status

Name: Lin Lanyu

Cultivation Realm: Golden Core Mid Stage[25935/28400]

Demonic Cultivation Realm: Nothing[WEAK -Nuna]

-Demonic Cultivation Techniques-

None

-Corpses-

None

-Martial Techniques-

[Lin Sect Sword Technique(Mastery: Master(19324/20000))]

[Guqin String Arts(Mastery: Master(18329/20000))]

[Lin Family Twin Swords Technique(Mastery: Exceptionable(14395/15000))]

[Wind-Shot Archery Technique(Mastery: Exceptionable(14983/15000))]

-Ability Talismans-

None

-Treasures-

[Azure Deep Water Spiritual Sword(Grade: 6th Tier/10 Tiers)]

[Azure Mountain Wind(Bow)(Grade: 5th Tier/10 Tiers)]

[Starter Gift Available for Collection]

Lin Lanyu: 'Hahahaha! I'm so powerful I'm a master in my techniques!

Nuna: 'No you idiot! You didn't think you would start at the top of the pyramid did you! It goes Apprentice, Acceptable, Exceptional, Master, Grandmaster, Sage. So you are high mid-rank at best.' This idiot...

Lin Lanyu: *Sniffle* 'You are really a meanie system. Collect my gift please.' *Sniffle*

[Starter Gift Collected]

[Talismans Collected: Mastery Talismans(x1000), Incomplete Demonic Technique Fragment(x2), Technique Completion Fragment(x15), Corpse Summoning Talisman(x5), Incomplete Martial Technique Fragment(x2), Random Treasure Case(x10)]

Lin Lanyu: 'Wait... why is my sword and bow only on the 6th tier.'

Nanu: '6th tier would be considered top tier. Anything higher would be considered a heaven-defying treasure so...' Why did he only notice now? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Lin Lanyu: 'Ok so what is a Mastery Talisman and what is a Technique Completion Talisman.' I mean I think I know most of this stuff but you never know. I mean I thought I knew what was going on but this cheapskate of a system refuses to even give me a completed technique.

'The Cheapskate' Nanu: 'Fine.' At least he can figure something out on his own. 'Alright so the Mastery Talisman will improve both your understanding as well as your skill in the technique that you chose. Although only using one is quite miniscule as they are only worth 1 mastery point. On the other hand the Technique Completion Fragment will complete a technique, however the more powerful the technique is the more fragments it will take.'

Lin Lanyu: 'Ok...' I understood some of that but oh well. 'One more question if I cultivate a demonic technique would anyone notice?'

Nanu: 'Finally asking some good questions are we? Well usually yes people of higher cultivation would detect it, but I am glad to say that your all-powerful system is capable of hiding the resentment that comes along with cultivating a demonic technique.'

Lin Lanyu: '...'

Nanu: '...'

Lin Lanyu'...'

Nanu: 'Alright why don't we use some of the talismans you received? Just thi-'

Lin Lanyu: 'I know. It's the same as the status page you just think about using it.'

Nanu: 'Alright good but don't use the corpse ones because those corpses are permanent and are very unlikely to be able to hide well.'

As Lin Lanyu used an Incomplete Demonic Technique Fragment a red and black wisp of light much like the golden wisp of light that was Nanu appeared this one was however incomparable with Nanu as it's presence was so weak that one wouldn't notice it unless looking directly at it. Suddenly the light solidified into a glass jar that looked like it had thousands of pieces of papers in it.

Lin Lanyu: 'Ummm so can I grab two pieces of paper since I have two fragments?'

Nanu: 'Yes but if you grab anymore you will be incinerated.'

Sticking his hand into The Jar(dun dun duuuun) he felt around in the papers finding that everyone had a different texture. Rubbing his hand around he decided to pick up one that was very silky and one that felt coarse like sand. Pulling them out he was going to unfold them but instead they just melded into his hand. Screeching at the sight of paper stretching his skin over itself he only stops when he looks at his palm and this time it is back to normal like nothing ever happened.

Before checking the status screen Lin Lanyu had made the subconscious decision to use the martial fragments as well. The Jar had flashed and instead of a jar was now a large wooden tub. Putting both hands in the tub he moves it around until he finally finds two fuzzy pieces of paper. Taking them out before they no doubt merge into his body he starts rubbing them on his face.

Nuna: 'Did you just pick those because you like fuzzy things?'

Lin Lanyu: '...'

Nuna: I feel as though my host is more of a threat to his own life than any of the cultivators outside. -_-

This time however he only slightly flinches and looks away in disgust when they start to merge with his skin. After finishing he opens the Status screen when Ning Zheng bursts through the door.

Nuna: Where is the privacy? What's the use of a door?

Ning Zheng: "Second Young Master! Master wishes for you to come and greet the guests who have just arrived! They are here on behalf of the top five sects as envoys!"

Lin Lanyu: 'Nuna, who is the Master?'

Nuna: 'Your Grand-Uncle.' Dumb-dumb I'm not the only one with the memories.

Lin Lanyu only now realized that Ning Zheng had not mentioned the floating blue Status screen. Moving to stand up Lin Lanyu moved to the clothes rack removing one of his teal disciple robes and putting it on with such precision that anyone would assume he'd been doing it forever. Lin Lanyu was only slightly suspicious as it felt very natural so he assumed it was Nuna's fault.

Nuna: Am I just here to be a scapegoat. Despicable! ( ˘︹˘ )

Lin Lanyu: 'Nuna, why am I wearing a teal robe when he gets such a pretty dark blue robe! Huh! Ning Zheng are you discriminating against me!'

Nuna: 'Dummy! You get a teal robe because you are part of the Lin Clan whilst Ning Zheng is only part of the Lin Sect!'

The 'Discriminatory' Ning Zheng: "Alright, Second Young Master I will escort you."

Nuna: 'Hairpiece.'

Lin Lanyu: "Wait I have to do my hair so I will come out in a moment please wait outside."

Ning Zheng: "Of course, I apologize."

Paying a salute for the first time since Lin Lanyu met him Ning Zheng leaves closing the door behind him. Plopping down Lin Lanyu looks at the forgotten status screen.

Status

Name: Lin Lanyu

Cultivation Realm: Golden Core Mid Stage[25935/28400]

Demonic Cultivation Realm: Nothing[Your still weak af -Nuna]

-Demonic Cultivation Techniques-

[(Incomplete|6 More Fragments for Completion)Black Blood Seven Orifices Cultivation Technique(Mastery: Unranked(0/6000))]

[(Incomplete|12 More Fragments for Completion)Dark Armageddon Art(Mastery: Unranked(0/35000))]

-Corpses-

None

-Martial Techniques-

[Lin Sect Sword Technique(Mastery: Master(19324/20000))]

[Guqin String Arts(Mastery: Master(18329/20000))]

[Lin Family Twin Swords Technique(Mastery: Exceptionable(14395/15000))]

[Wind-Shot Archery Technique(Mastery: Exceptionable(14983/15000))]

[(Incomplete|4 More Fragments to Completion)Ancient Elegant Behemoth Technique(Mastery: Unranked(0/5000))]

[(Incomplete|7 More Fragments)Hidden Execution Needle Technique(Mastery: Unranked(0/5000))]

-Ability Talismans-

[Mastery Talismans(x1000), Technique Completion Fragment(x15), Corpse Summoning Talisman(x5), Random Treasure Case(x10)]

-Treasures-

[Azure Deep Water Spiritual Sword(Grade: 6th Tier/10 Tiers)]

[Azure Mountain Wind(Bow)(Grade: 5th Tier/10 Tiers)]

Lin Lanyu: 'So umm are my techniques good?'

Nuna: 'For the martial techniques they are weak at the low levels of mastery but if you get to master them you could put up a real good fight.' What the... I see now he might be dumb but he is just inherently lucky. Like wow.

Lin Lanyu: 'Also what the hell is with that mastery number on the Armageddon one?'

Nuna: 'Whilst cultivating the Dark Armageddon Art one absorbs the bad luck of the people and world around them. Why it takes so long to master is because when one reaches the sage level someone could absorb a world destruction level event and cultivate it in their body. Thus masters of this art surround themselves with unlucky people and the art enhances the bad luck so if someone was supposed to fall and scrape a knee it could possibly change to them falling and breaking a leg or falling and impaling oneself on(with) a random metal spike. It is counted as demonic because the more you can cultivate someone else's bad luck to be worse the more power you cultivate through the art. In the lower stages no one will most likely notice but as it gets higher, people will notice. On the other hand the Black Blood Seven Orifices Technique uses the lifeblood of others to cultivate. Usually it is very inconspicuous because no one realizes who the one making them bleed black is. However, prolonged use of a certain person will often lead to insanity or death. So if you don't want someone to die don't use it on them often. Watch out though as anyone found using it will be quickly dealt with. Most cases are burning of the soul.'

Lin Lanyu: 'So conclusion I can't use either of them, great.'

Nanu: 'Correct I would wait until you have a proper reason like if somebody crippled you. Then you should use it on non-cultivators because no one will know what is happening. Currently, you are in one of the biggest cultivation sects on the continent so I would suggest staying away from cultivating demonically, even if I am a Demonic Cultivation System, I can't send you to your death, that would mean paperwork! Although you might want to do righteous cultivation so no one gets suspicious. Only cultivate demonically when no other cultivators are around or if the cultivators are significantly weaker than you.'

Fixing his hair, Lin Lanyu adjusted his hair pinning it with a jade serpent. Standing up Lin Lanyu walked toward the door sliding it open he found himself facing an elegant courtyard that had a koi pond surrounded by flowers and a pavilion with bookcases lining the walls and a small table.

Feeling butterflies flowing through his body, Lin Lanyu slid out of the room silently closing the door. Walking with quick steps, the jittery Lin Lanyu moves down the path toward the koi pond. Rounding the flowered corner Lin Lanyu nearly jumps from his skin as he sees a snake dart through the flowerbeds.

Lin Lanyu: 'Such a small snake…'

Moving toward it, the snake darts away faster than one would have expected of such a small thing. After losing sight of it Lin Lanyu continues down the winding path of the garden.