We all have had hopes and dreams. And many of them had been bashed against the wall and thrown out. Whether it was because of our own faults, or the judgmental states from those around us.
Azumi was one of these people herself. Though she appeared to be cheerful, that was all a lie that she had painted onto her face as if it were wax. For the longest time this idea, the one that she had molded onto her face, had been molded onto her heart so heavy that she believed it herself.
But then came that day. That dreaded day. Of course she looks back with joy as it lead her to a state of such bliss.
But it was still the worst experience she had ever gone through.
You see, Azumi fancied herself an artist. Oh how she loved to draw, to sketch, to paint, to build. Any form of art was loved with her whole being. But, as most know and learn to expect, good things never last.
The thing with Azumi was that her mother was absolutely hell-bent on her becoming a lawyer. This idea was not well received or liked by Azumi. It would barely give her any time to spend on her passions.
Yet her mother absolutely refused to give her any other option.
In fact the only words exchanged between Mizuko and her daughter were always along the lines of "Don't forget to study everyday."
And "Make sure you study till ten. By then you should fall asleep so that your intelligence doesn't suffer."
And sometimes even "Don't tell me your still obsessing over that boy..... Honestly why must puberty get in the way of the education of MY daughter?" (Little did Mizuko know that it was in fact a girl Azumi was obsessing over. But being the 15 year old girl she was, the thought of bringing this topic up was terrifying.)
Azumi wasn't the only child in her household with dreams. In this little home of hers she lived with her her mom and of course...
Her brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her brother desperately dreamed of the day where he would become a car mechanic. He knew this seemed like a silly dream but he didn't care. It was what he wanted most.
His friends always made fun of him for striving for this but he ignored them. He had already decided to be upfront about his dreams with their mom.
Their mom at the time and said to him "Kisho why would you pick such a thing. After all the time and money I've spent on your education to be a lawyer."
But he was convincing.
He had told her "As long as one of your children becomes a lawyer does it really matter who?" This led to Mizuko becoming absolutely dependent on the hope that Azumi would become a lawyer.
Now Azumi had openly shared her hopes and dreams with her brother. She thought since they were both the same, they could rely on one another.
However her brother was almost at the age to leave for college. And with that age came a realization. If she were to tell of her dreams of becoming an artist..... what would become of his dreams.... no, his hopes?
Wouldn't they be more likely to crash against the wall and disintegrate as if they were nothing?
And then he was struck with a thought. A brilliant scheme that came to his hollow mind by sheer luck.
What if..... what if...
He told mother of what Azumi was wanting with her life?
If Kisho were to do such a thing mother would be furious at Azumi. She wouldn't even consider entertaining the idea. She would feel betrayed that her own daughter kept this from her. She would in no way accept this new passion that came out of nowhere.
Sure, if Azumi were to tell her herself Mizuko would most likely be mad for a while, before deciding to leave the children in a battle for who would miserably become a lawyer and who would joyously follow their passion.
But Azumi wasn't telling mother. No way would she do such a thing.
As guilty as he felt for thinking this, his sister was spineless. She always worried over everything. Never trusting in herself or the people around her. She could hide this well from most people but as her brother, Kisho knew better.
She was a nervous child, too afraid to speak her mind and too fearful to go against others. That's why he was certain she'd never tell mother.
So that meant he would be the one to tell mother. And when he did.....
If he did....
Azumi would be forced into the lawyer position, and he could get the shiny bright life of being a car mechanic.
And due to how indecisive and fragile his sister was, he had ample time to decide whether he
should be the one to tell Mizuko.
Then again....
he didn't have much time before being sent to college.
Kisho then realized that he had spent way too much time contemplating, so he stood up from his bed looked in the mirror to make sure he was presentable, (as his mom was a very strict woman) and opened the door to his room.
He quickly glanced over to his sisters room where she would likely be once she got out of school.
He then turned around and walked down the stairs happily muttering to himself "thank God I don't have to deal with that crap today." as he went down the stairs to the living room, then down again so he could arrive at his mothers office.
He knocked on her door.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
And finally he heard the soft and angelic sounding voice that somehow managed to radiate from his demonic mother. "Kisho is that you? You may enter."
'Silent but deadly is a formidable way to refer to mother isn't it?' He thought to himself, barely managing to maintain his poised and serious stature.
"Kisho do I need to repeat myself? You better not be thinking of playing a prank or else I'll reduce your salary."
He fumbled with the doorknob and rushed his way in, still managing to appear elegant enough for his mother.
'Am I doing the right thing?' He pondered to himself.
'No. No I am not. This will probably ruin my sisters chances to be an artist. But I have something I want to. And sometimes, one must trample over others for the things they want.'
He opened then closed his mouth still uncertain of the words to follow.
Finally Mizuko grew impatient with him and said with annoyance "Speak your ass up. I have work to do. I may have given birth to you but that doesn't mean my life revolves around you.
Kisho sighed knowing he couldn't keep his mothers attention for long and finally decided to speak.
"Mother.... Azumi had been keeping something from you.... something that would trouble mother greatly.... something I must absolutely share with you, for fear that Azumi may never tell you..." and he spoke.
And spoke and spoke and spoke.
Kisho learned that maybe he wasn't as good a brother as he thought.
And it saddened him, but there was no way he was giving up on being a car mechanic. His sister, could just be a lawyer and draw at the same time.
His dream was different.
Something he couldn't achieve if he was a lawyer.
So his sister would just have to deal with it. Because in the end, it was his dream or hers.
Isn't it only natural to pick oneself over another?