I sat there slowly playing with my food; rolling the small piece of chicken with my fork and sighed under the penetrating glare of Jackson. I shook my head and took a small sip from my glass of water.
The eerily silence had me begging for some kind of distraction or perhaps this dinner to end unexpectedly. Usually, your head would spin or have a sickening headache from alarming sounds or noises above many decibels, but here it was different, the mere sounds of cutlery gently clanking against the plates and soft chewing was all there to be heard, and it was aching my head.
The wait was the worst part; knowing it was going to happen, but when?
Audrey was simply eating her food; enjoying every bit of it. And it was surprising; usually, she too would join in with her husband and glare at me like someone who was standing in their way to success and glory.
Mother sat on one end of the table facing my father; she hadn't looked up from her food. I guess she was dreading this just as much as me. My father sat at the head of the table, silently eating with a deep frown. His salt and pepper hair sat messily on his head from the amount of time her had run this hand through it. Wrinkles decorated his face from the years of stress from not only his company and business, but also the family had brought.
"Are we not going to discuss anything?!" Jackson suddenly snapped. I held back the urge to roll my eyes.
And so it begins...
"Jackson!" Mother sent him a harsh glare and Audrey held onto his arm, trying to calm him down. I never understand that form of gesture; it wasn't helping. If anything, the gesture either brought a flaming stare Audrey's way or Jackson just pulled away from her hold. If the gesture wasn't going to help, why still do it? Sometimes, it just made Audrey look helpless against her husband's wrath.
The strong-willed confident woman disappeared as Jackson's anger flared in his eyes. "What? Why prolong this stupid dinner?!" He snapped, banging his hand on the table. The force made the cutlery to clank violently against the table and plates. I closed my eyes and bit onto my tongue, not wanting to pass any words that was caused by the rage boiling within my veins.
"Jackson, that's enough." My father spoke, "I'll speak with her."
"Well, go on." Jackson's patience was past its limit; there was no stopping what comes out of his mouth now.
My father sighed turning to me, but I kept my face and posture straight, silently telling him no words or promises were going to change my answer. I was no longer the little girl he could trick and get his way with. I wasn't going to fall for the false promises and agreements. They were just mere words without meaning.
"Sooyaa.." He quietly called me, "He is your brother; you must help him."
"But I warned him, father." I told him the same words I did before, "I warned him about Antonio Venturi's schemes."
"We all make mistakes, Jisoo." He brushed off my words off like dust, causing me to sigh. "It'll only be for a year or two. Until he's back on his feet."
I shook my head, tricking me into helping wasn't going to work. A year will turn into two years as he said, but then three and four, and so on until Jackson claims Sooyaa's Desires as his own, maybe even change its name- Audrey's Desires sounds about right.
"What I said still stands, father," I told him straight out.
"You're just a selfish little b*tch, Jisoo!" Jackson shouted and gritted his teeth.
Mother gasped, "Jackson, I raised you better than to.." She sighed, closing her eyes and holding her head in pain.
I stared at him, unbothered by his foul word, "Taking care of what's mine isn't selfish."
"You sit there, watching me suffer!" His eyes flared his unspoken hatred that hid behind his anger, but I didn't back down; I stared into his eyes, challenging him.
"I tried to help you before, Jackson." I kept my voice steady and even, simply angering him more, "But you rather rudely declined, so now I.." I scoffed before continuing, "I don't want to help you." I smirked.
He let out a humourless chuckle, "See this?" He pointed at me, returning his gaze back to our father, "She's an arrogant and self-centred b*tch."
"Jackson, careful on how you address your sister!" My father finally raised his voice.
"She's not my sister!"
While his words should sting, I have become numb to it all. Day in and day out I have heard those words crushing my heart, but now I have grown, I will no longer let words hurt me.
While my father along with mother tried to defend me over the years, I knew Jackson would not ever see me as a sister, ever and my father once again was simply defending for his image. Image was everything for my father throughout my younger years, I learned that. The world seemed pretty and welcoming on the outside, but on the inside, it was a dying sickening world that tried to crush your very soul.
"She's here because of you! You ruined this family because of her."
"She's still my daughter, no matter what you say. I will not throw her out!"
I sighed muting out the words my father and Jackson exchanged and watched the dancing flames within the fireplace.
Sharp flames that crackled against the crisp woods. The blazes of the fire roared to life as the woods took their last breath on earth, before crumbling away into smoke...ashes.
Fire was a powerful source of heat to the cold, yet also a source of danger to the burning..to the dying. Like Ferdinand Foch had once said, 'The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.' It was the richest element, one so noble, yet deadly.
I frowned as the crackling flames turned against an unknowing wind. The fire changed directions; whooshing left and right, instead of simply roaring upwards. My eyes followed the strange directions before something flew out from the flames...a flaming creature. I gasped, my mind immediately flashed back to the drive, the creature the stars portrayed...a dragon.
I shook my head, wanting to be wrong, but the winged-creature rose from the small flames. My breathing released in pants and the beating of my heart skyrocketed; thumping against my chest, ready to break free my one way or another. Sweat broke through my forehead as I saw the creature get pulled back into the fire by a flaming rope. Arrows shot from every direction before, hitting the dragon at its very flesh and heart. A strangled gasp left my lips as the creature was shot down. Ashes of black smoke left its mouth...its last breath.
"Jisooyaa!" A warm hand shook my own, pulling me away from the flames. My eyes searched until they landed on the hand that wrapped around my wrist. The diamonds that adorned the ring on her finger told me who it was, before looking up at her face. The stones gleamed and twinkled against the lights catching my whole attention, allowing its beauty to calm down my fast-beating heart.
"Jisoo," another shake, that is what it took for me to snap up and lock eyes with mother.
"Mother.." I said, her eyes held the concern of a mum; it pained my heart. Deep down, I knew my birth-mother wouldn't show herself again, but there were times I wished for her to look at me through these eyes.
"Are you alright?" She questioned frowning, scanning my face.
"I-" My eyes quickly wandered back to the fireplace and once again nothing out of the ordinary. Just flames that burned the wood to warm the room. "Yeah.." I shook my head and looked around the table. While Jackson watched me in confusion, Audrey raised her eyebrows at me, a sense of mockery passed her eyes before she covered it up with fake concern.
"You were zoned out.." My father's words held some bit of worry.
"I-" I took a deep breath before continuing, "I need to go." Gathering my posture again, I stood up.
"What?" My father frowned trying to identify my source of discomfort... this very dinner was my source of discomfort...
"We haven't come to a solution yet," Jackson's voice ran through my ears, causing me to roll my eyes.
"That's too bad. I hope you find something. And to make it extra clear once again, I'll not be part of it! My company stays as mine and mine alone!" I told him sternly before walking out, letting the click of my heels against the marble tiles calm me.
Another pair of heels hitting against tiles caught my attention just when I opened the large doors. I frowned when I heard my name being called, "Jisoo," the voice of mother made me turn around. Her glossy eyes held unshed tears as she looked into mine. For a moment, I wondered...Had my own mother ever shed any tears for me?
"Mother..." I sighed, looking down my feet. I could feel the strain my ankles were under, but I allowed it to be numb and stand straight.
"Jisoo listen to me, please. You should consider this..." The words she spoke made my eyes snap back at her. Her eyes held some form of sympathy, causing me to let out a humourless laugh, "I can't believe this! You too now?!"
"Jisoo," she spoke my name sternly, before continuing "I have accepted you. I could have rejected you, but I didn't. What your father did was not your fault, and so I let you in; I let you call me mother. Now, I'm simply asking for something in return." She begged, trying to reach out to hold my hands, but I shook my head stepping away.
"Mother, if I hand over half of my company, over time he will claim it all as his own." I crossed my hands, silently telling her I wasn't backing out of my decision.
"I'll make sure that doesn't happen."
But I sighed, shaking my head, "You're being selfish, Jisoo," she snapped suddenly. The exact words Jackson spoke but coming from her, I felt like I was being stabbed. I gulped as a sudden strike of pain crossed my chest, but I didn't tell my eyes to portray the emotion.
"My answer stays as it is. Goodbye, mother." I said, turned away from her to climb down the steps of the front porch.
"You want to break this family completely apart! That's what you want, isn't it?!"
I gasped, spinning on my heels to look at her again. For the first time, I saw her eyes flare with unspoken anger and hurt. The shields she had built up to prevent me from seeing those emotions over the years crumbled away, leaving her shattered and torn.
"Wha.." For a second, I didn't even recognise my own voice, because of the uncertainty it held.
"Jisoo, I loved you all these years, how could y-you.." Her voice broke as tears leaked her eyes.
Some of the anger in her eyes faded away, and a look of torment and betrayal sculpted her features. My mouth opened several times, but nothing came out. The words my ears received, I couldn't believe it! My mind played it over and over, like a broken record, then to a faded voice that had my breathing come out in pants. My heart only picked up its pace every time my mind replayed the words.
I gasped as my knees buckled and I nearly fell to the tar grounds if I had not caught onto my car. I hissed as my ankle grazed painfully against the stone surface when my heels had scraped the rough ground due to my loss of balance.
I heard a gasp left mother's lips as she rushed forward, but I lifted my hand and stood up on my own, ignoring the pain coursing through my leg, "If that's what you think.." I mumbled, before I unlocked my car.
I heard her release a tired sigh, then reached out to grab my arm as I opened my car, "Jisoo, I need you to-"
"No!" I cut her off and broke away from her hold, "Everything I built. Everything I own right now is from my own money. I never asked for my father's help or money. You were the only one who didn't treat me as an outsider, and I am grateful for that. But if that's the way you started to think then...I'll be out of your way, mother." I turned away, not even wanting to hear her next words.
"Jisoo!" She tried knocking on the window, but I blocked her out and started my car. From the corner of my eye, I could see that she had stepped away from the vehicle, giving me enough space to drive away and that's what I did; I drove off without a second thought.
The guards at the gates were alarmed at the amount of pressure I applied on the gas; speeding towards them.
Barely, giving them any time to open the gates completely, I sped away from my father's house and into roads.
I gritted my teeth, stubbornly held on to the unshed tears and raced through the city roads towards my own house.