Hey faith,
As usual I was busy the whole day with my part time job. Though it's a temporary job I still had to do my best. After all, they are paying me to feed myself. The company had been advertising for a long time for a content writer and when Adi showed me the flyer I didn't want to miss this opportunity.
Now I just need to work from home comfortably and mail them the document, that's it. Being friends with some of my colleagues was not a big deal either as they just added me to their social media group without even informing once. Along with that I have been sending mails to other companies only to wait for their replies.
Eh…. School life was better. At Least it had some guarantee and all we needed to do was obey the teachers.
My Mom has been busy with her online cooking classes. Trust me she's doing better. By the end of this she will probably get ten more students. It's been hectic too and I asked her to stop, as if she will listen to me! I don't understand how she still manages to sneak into my room and give me a cup of coffee every time I need it? I don't even need to ask for it.
"How did you know I needed coffee?" I asked slightly, pressing my temples as if that will make my headache a little better.
"I just know it." She replies with that regular smile.
Yeah, she understands me. I wish everybody did.
Do you know what it feels like when someone leaves you, suddenly, and the only thing they say is sorry! I have no idea what we call it but it.... It just hurts.
My heart clenches every time I think about that day.
It was one of those days when couples move around holding hands together, hugging, caring, loving, exchanging gifts and what not. I was not wishing for something so romantic but just wanted that this day should be a memorable one.
I turned, tossed, slipped and somehow managed to pull myself out of the bed. I took a shower as quickly as I could. I was already late. Today I'm meeting him almost after three months of break. It's insane I know but we had to. He moved to Mumbai recently, so though we were two States apart it still feels like a much longer distance. As if he is in the North and I'm in the South. Crazy!
I was dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a crop top. I decided to make it simple so a little bit of touch up was enough? As I walked down stairs and found my mom busy in the kitchen. I asked if she needed some help but she said she could manage. I had my breakfast in a hurry wishing not to choke.
"Slow down.... You are gonna choke now" My mother scolded me.
"Yeah... Can I get some more rice? "I asked my mouth full with food. Her cooking is amazing and I guess not a single person in this world should miss that.
After I had cleaned up the whole plate I glanced back to my watch and screamed. Now I'm truly late. I stormed out of the house and took a cab. Today we are meeting in front of the nearby lighthouse. It's quite pretty and the view is simply so nice.
I was waiting for him sitting on a bench beside the lighthouse facing towards the sea. It's so peaceful. I turned back as I heard footsteps behind me. It was him, Chris. We have been in a relationship for the last 3 years but every time we meet it feels like the first time. He was wearing his usual dark jeans with a white shirt and hands folded till the elbows. He is handsome.
I took my steps towards him and pulled him into a hug. I missed him. But something was not okay, he was not responding back. I pulled out of the hug and looked up. He was staring with a blank face. I asked what was wrong. Is he okay? What happened?
No response.
"What's wrong? We are meeting after so long and you don't seem to be happy? Did I do something wrong, huh? "
"I... I...this we should... "
"What should we do?"
"I... Think.... Umm we should break up"
I took my steps back. My heart almost felt sinking. What was that?
"Why?" I asked.
"I'm done" he states
"I'm sorry" He added, not meeting my eyes.
I asked again what the reason is.
He repeats, "I'm sorry''..... I was expecting a reason, not an excuse. At least I should know why he's being sorry.
Why, I asked... But there was no answer. But only silence....
I said its okay, to myself. But it was not.
My eyes were searching for the answer in those hazel eyes in front of me. They seemed different. That gaze was different. They are no more familiar to me now. There's something in there that I could never imagine..... Guilt.
"Why?" I asked again, taking one step closer.
"You can't do this. Chris? "
I wanted to know what he was thinking, why did he say that and why did are we like this all of a sudden? Just why?
I needed him to answer to me but he was not even bothered.
But... He simply left, without a word; leaving me there alone.....he just walked on. Without turning around, even for once...
For once I thought he would come back smiling and make fun of me for believing his so-called joke. I was waiting but he didn't even bother to look back once.
I was still standing there as if I was dreaming perhaps... Maybe he was kidding. May be this was all a lie. But no, he left me forever and ever.... How could he do this to me?
Tears rolled down my eyes. I never felt this helpless and stranded before. I couldn't stop but cry....
There were so many things I wished him to listen and things which I was ready to listen. That was the moment he left me. I wanted him to wait but I guess he was gone too far. So far that I could not reach him even if I was dying to
Do so.
~~~