Anger coated me as I launched out after them. I took the first punch and punched them in the stomach. I then jumped on top of them and started punching their face with every force I could manage. They muttered under their breath but I ignored them. I didn't care what they said about me anymore. I then heard footsteps that belonged to the person who was running towards us. "Lary! No!" Her voice called out, but I ignored her, still punching them over and over until my fists were covered in their blood.
Suddenly, I was picked up and brought into someone's arms as the person was dragged away from me. Her voice appeared once again and it whispers, "It's okay baby. Calm down. I'm right here."
—————————————————
"I hoped they got sent to the hospital." I told my therapist. Like always, staring at the ceiling and telling her about my life made me sick to my stomach. I was never used to opening up, not to mention telling people everything that goes on in my head.
She jot down notes in her clipboard and hummed before asking me another question, "How did you feel when you were punching them?" "Great." I blurted out and it wasn't long before I regretted it. She continued to jot down notes and I rolled my eyes when she asked, "so they hurt you that horribly?"
I sighed. You out of anyone should know the answer to the question. I saw her nod at the corner of my eye, assuming that she was correct. My head started to spin as I focused on staring at one spot on the ceiling. There was no way I could stop it. Once I get anxiety attacks, there really isn't a way to get out of it. She glances over to me, looks over to the clock on the wall right over her desk, then back at the clipboard.
"Would you like to share what they have said or done to you to make you feel this way about them?" She asks, but I can only shrug as an answer. I couldn't tell her right away, I just couldn't. So I kept my mouth shut.
Her alarm rang a few moments after and she waves to me goodbye as I walk out the door to meet my mom in the waiting room. She gives me a grateful look and we leave the office.
The whole ride home was silent, other than the radio. When we got home, she just stared at me. She even tries to open her mouth every now and then, but nothing manages to leave it. She sighs each time. We continue just this until my phone rings and her name pops up on my screen. Alaina.
I picked it up and my mom looks at me curiously. "Hey. Are you okay? I just wanted to check on you." She asks and I nod, thinking she can see. "Yeah, I'm good." I reply. My mom mouths, "Speaker phone" and I sigh while I do exactly what she says. "You're on speaker phone." I say and she says back, "Okay. Well if your mom can hear me then maybe we should talk about what happened earlier."
My mom stares at me in complete confusion and I sigh, "If you want to tell her, go ahead. I'm not stopping you." I say as my mom leans inward. "Your son was in a fight today." She began and a gasp slipped from mom's mouth while she stared at me in complete shock.
"The other kid is the one who is suffering from minor injuries, but they weren't sent to the hospital." She stopped to take a breath, but continued afterwards, "They suffer from a broken nose as well as their abdomen was bruised." I slightly chuckled and my mom stared at me afterwards.
It took a while for mom to process what Alaina just told her. She was very surprised, but glad that the kid wasn't sent to the hospital. She decided to ground me, but she let me use her phone to talk to Alaina instead of mine, which I personally thought was stupid.
—————————————————
The weekend came slowly, but when it came I was able to associate with Alaina for the whole weekend. My teacher contacted my mom telling her that the person I beat up is currently healing, which she thought was good. It was honestly bad news for me, though, and Alaina knew it as well.
Surprisingly, I wasn't suspended from school long enough than I anticipated. I still had to face the person eye to eye whenever they came back. I didn't really care enough to stay home for when that time came, though. When it did, I was sure to beat them up harder. Hopefully then they'll actually be sent to the hospital.
"What are you thinking about?" Alaina interrupts my plotting thoughts. I slightly sigh as I say, "Oh.. nothing.." She stares at me curiously as she replies, "You don't seem like you're thinking of completely nothing." I sigh once more. "Come here." She says as she pulls me closer to her.
"You know you can tell me." She says after I'm settled on her chest. "It's just that I'm scared of going back to school." I lie. She pets my hair in a comforting motion. "It's okay. You're going to be just fine." I try my best to avoid any eye rolls as she kisses my forehead, showing me that she really means what she just said.
Staring at the television starts to give me a headache, so I sit up. She stares at me, confused. "I've got a headache. Mind if I head to sleep?" I don't give her enough time to reply before I walk in the direction of her room. I slightly hear her sigh as she turns off the television and walks after me. I slightly smile realizing that I've won. Opening the door to her room, I take in everything, noticing every detail and item that's in her room. She walks past me and I follow. She then lays down onto her bed and pats the spot next to her.
"Come here baby." She says and I turn off the light. I head over to her and sit down on the bed. She then pulls my head onto her chest and soon enough, I fall asleep.