Chapter Seven - Luciform
It's been weeks since Sweven met Linsey for the third time and until now she hasn't called him. Sweven would just think that she is busy for a highschool girl like her but she was actually struggling to paint.
There's always this choice we have to make in our daily lives and hesitation comes within it; that is how Linsey feel right now. She has been painting for a week but couldn't choose a proper color that will fit the canvas she created.
She wondered how could I finished an artwork with Sweven when
I'm extremely pathetic to the point I'm involving him with my affairs.
"His the reason why I'am alive but how could I thank him when I didn't want him to save me" Linsey muttered bowing down into anxiety as her phone suddenly rang and when she picked it up, her emotions exploded.
That night the dream Sweven had---has happened; the anger and sadness she felt collided like a storm.
On the morning then Linsey went fine like nothing while she watches Sweven from outside, "So his the guy" The driver said casually. "Yeah. Don't tell anyone about this and that I hired a investigator" She command right away as the driver smiled "Are we going to follow that young man?".
Linsey shooked her head in response, open the door and stepped outside the car, "No need. I'll be the one who's gonna catch that bird" She confidently leave without her driver.
The people are staring at Linsey from head to toe just by walking on the side ways wearing her fancy boho sweater dress, black long leather boots and black Gucci sling back on her waist perfectly matching the weather which is almost winter.
She's been following Sweven for minutes now while thinking: is he dumb, why not ride on his bike to go faster, his like walking his pet bicycle on this cold weather.
Sweven then who is walking, actually noticed her from the beginning thanks to the help of the side mirror on his bike and the people who are passing by, gossiping their glance on how captivating Linsey was.
He took his smartphone out from his pocket and pretend to call someone, "Hey! Where are you now? Near here? What do you mean? Oh! BEHIND...Me" Sweven awkwardly said as he glance at the back causing Linsey to panicly hide her face behind her bag and face the wall beside.
"Ah! we're playing hide and seek" Sweven on Linsey who continue to follow him having the expression of disbelief on the words his saying.
"Why won't you let me see you. I'm gonna count one to three. To see if your now behind me okay?" Sweven suddenly suggested which made Linsey alert as she quickly turn around so that he can't see her, she waited for seconds after that she turned infront and surprisingly face Sweven up close
She was out of balance due to the sudden shocked but glandly Sweven caught her immediately bending his knees and caressing her waist from behind.
They both look into once eyes at that moment, He realized she cried while she noticed his beautiful butterscotch eyes and it went for a second.
Linsey was flustered realizing Sweven is holding her gently. "I found you" Sweven uttered with a smile which ruined the mood for Linsey: "Well that's romantically disgusting" causing him to let go of her but carefully.
"Thank you is enough....Linsey" Sweven stood up straight while Linsey saw his reddish hand, quickly changing the topic, "Thank you then are you cold?" She was so focus on Sweven's hand that she didn't even bother to looked at Sweven: "Well it's not yet winter so I forgot my mittens".
"I didn't know you're such an old man" Linsey sarcastically said.
"What did you do last night?" Sweven asked to confirm that his dream had occurred.
"In a sense people sleep but I stayed awake" Linsey replied as she goes to walk, "Sweven do you know a cafe nearby? let's talk there".
He nodded in response to Linsey and the only cafe he can think of is the Lavien Cafe owned by Madame Celine.
Linsey first came on the corner and sat down while Sweven chat a little bit with Madam Celine whose having a cup of chocolate coffee, "Your girlfriend?!".
"She isn't. We just know each other" Sweven answered her as she jokingly said "Yeah right...you better go there now or your lady will leave!". He then came over to Linsey's table sat infront of her.
"You investigated me right?" Sweven reassured himself because how the hell did Linsey knew his studying at saint Louis university and followed him, it's not a coincidence anymore. "I just wanted to know you better that is all" Linsey was being brutally honest at that point but perhaps a liar too.
"What's the point of that? When we are just gonna work together for a month and you already wasted two weeks" He confronted so silence was brought upon them but then after a second Linsey was about to reply when Jackson came in, "I'mma take your order. lady and gentleman".
He gave the menu to them to have a choice while he wicked at Sweven without understanding the situation.
"This a cafe not a bakery shop but I really want some bread today so if you don't mind could you kindly list down all my order?" Linsey said with smile.
Jackson happily agreed as he wrote down Linsey's order "One Swiss roll, two croissant, four pretzel, three bagets, five donut, one wheat bread and a caramel machiato".
"That's a lot" Jackson uttered while Sweven said "You didn't even eat breakfast? You should not forget about that, it's a very important meal for a teenage girl like you" which shocked Jackson, "Teenage bro?!".
"It isn't what you think....just take the customer's order" Sweven said to him, "Okay then lemme take your order" Jackson insisted. "Expresso con panna that's all. I ate so much vegetables in the morning so" Sweven ordered and because of that Linsey sniggered "Seriously? Vegetables. I never heard someone actually ate those during the daytime".
Sweven gazed at Jackson interpreting to leave so then Jackson obeyed as Linsey offered "Let's extend the contract it's going two months now". "I don't know exactly what do you mean by that. Give me a better explanation...why?' Sweven frowned giving Linsey a chance.
"I have trouble painting right now in colors or maybe everything" Linsey telling the truth to him whom asked "Are you colorblind? Or scared of colors?". Linsey immediately shooked her head twice in response to his question.
He knew she wasn't lying because she can exactly tell once artwork and he felt like he needed to give Linsey his trust as a former inspiring painter too fron the past.
After a minute Jackson served their orders and quietly leave with a big smile on his face. "Okay then let's extend the contract but after that I won't see you again and don't ever contact me" Sweven said out of nowhere while Linsey is drinking the expresso.
"Sweven can I asked you something? She uttered after a minute of not replying.
"You're already asking" He sarcastically let her continued.
"You paint right or do art before?" She asked changing the topic.
"I once but I couldn't now" He simply said getting back
at his drink. "Have you ever tried to immerse the paper for five minutes?" She asked again causing Sweven to think and shooked his head.
"Some artist get irritated in a mess like mixing the paint by accident and some would simply clean the mess but it's different when the one you painted with your whole heart sank in the bottom of the sea" Linsey explained to Sweven whom is carefullly listening on every word she is saying.
"If you couldn't paint try empathizing while the empty paper deepens into the water. I tried it last night and it calms me down" She smiled a little looking at Sweven's eyes, "But you still couldn't choose the color".
Sweven was right somehow but the paper still remind Linsey that she should not stop even if it's hard.
Empathizing is essentially immersing.
However, No matter how deep you manage to color that blank, you can't actually be the blank. In order to do so, one will have to completely erase the line to use your metaphor but it's impossible for anyone to erase all emotions because we're human after all.
Once we realize who we are---we start to color our empty canvas so that we can immerse into but cannot be fully understand. A little bit of colors will show everytime but if you see a blank canvas again there's only one possible explanation.
They painted over their original colors with broad strokes of white to paint over original colors into colorless white.
And that's how the conversation end to be clueless but not exactly in a way of empathy.
To be continued.