Alright, so I think I figured something out.
Remember how before, the last thing I recalled was a blinding isekai light that took me away from the palace of light?
Well, right now it's dark, and I mean really dark. Can't see a thing in this place. Plus, it's really warm and kinda… wet, maybe?
Ew.
Anyway, I have a really really bad feeling about this, and I'm praying to the heavens that my guess is wro—
"PUSH!"
Well, a guy can dream, can't he? So that sounded like a woman telling another woman something tha—
"PUSH!"
"Aaaaahh!!"
… Well, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, it sounded like they want me to go through something that I'm pretty sure a person should only go through once.
The heck was this? Why was I going through childbirth, that is only acceptable if I were a woman, which I'm not… I think.
Dum!
Okay, so my entire surroundings just shifted forward a bit. Now if I were a betting man, or baby… that would be the sound and feeling of me being pushed.
Sweet Lord.
I see an opening that brings in light and compels me to close my eyes. As I am going through this, I look back on my previous life and wonder just what kind of butt could I have been to deserve this; I mean seriously, childbirth? A second time??
Does Hitler deserve this? I think not.
"PUSH!!!"
"GET IT OUT OF ME!!"
Well… let's not go down that road, shall we. Seriously though, I thought isekais were supposed to be clean. What happened to viciously taking over a dying person's body? What happened to taking over a living person's body? What happened to morals??
{Oi Long Di, can you hear me?}
"Oh, goddess? Is that, uh, wait, hold on…"
{What do you mea—}
"PUSH!!!"
"Why is it not coming out!!?"
"Continue."
{…}
"Goddess?"
{… There are some things in this world that I sorely wish to know, and that—that was not one of them.}
"Oh, well, you get used to it. I would ask you what's up, but the better question is. As I am sure the woman out there surely wants to know, why am I being born?"
{That's why I contacted you, I wanted to punish you for all the stunts you pulled, and get revenge for that lie about the ending with the high school and the zombies! There was no ending!}
"Oh, you found that out, huh? How'd you figure it out so fast? Like I just came here."
{I told you that time doesn't exist here, so by the time you left, I scoured the internet only to find that out. So I tweaked a couple of things with the goddess of fate when she coincidentally contacted me and we both figured that childbirth would be an awesome punishment. It seems that karma, however, decided to make me its bastard.}
"I think the apt word would be bit—"
{You finish that sentence and I will blind you with scenes of your childbirth for every level you go up by.}
"… So I'm being born, huh? Neat! So what's going on with Pebbles, how's he doing?"
{You'll have to wait and see. I don't even know if I should call that cat lucky or a walking disaster.}
"What in the world has Pebbles done?"
{Whatever, I don't care about that! There is something else…}
Her voice trembled a bit as it trailed off, so I knew that something not good must have happened.
"What is something else?"
{… So the Elder Gods found out about what I did with your mulit-skills and I'm in BIG trouble right now. First of all, they tasked me to take all of them back. If I don't, I w—}
"No."
{W-What!? Please just give em ba—}
"No."
{C'mon!}
"Hold on."
{Not again!!}
"PUSH!!!"
"Why is this child doing this to me!!?"
"Now where were we? No."
{Fine! Since the skills you have are so irrational and rule-breaking, I will have to accompany you throughout your journey or whatever!}
"You're gonna be by my side? From I'm a baby?? I dunno, it sounds kinda paedophile-ish to me."
{Pedophile-ish your mother! Who are you calling a paedophile you perpetually expressionless malnourished meerkat!!}
"… I don't feel like that's your insult, but I'll take it. PS I haven't met my mother yet so I'll thank you not to slander her by calling her paedophile-ish-"
{But I—}
"In addition, if you are to accompany me, then please make sure you are not seen, as you might affect my swagger."
{…}
I couldn't see her, but I was pretty sure she was looking at me like an idiot, so I'm not going to comment any further there.
"Now, if this all you came to say, could you give me some room? I need to be born."
{You suck!! Sooo hard!!!}
"I know… breastmilk will have to be a thing. Your least favourite part is coming up."
{That's it! I'm out!}
"Oh, my god!! I think you may be crowning!! PU-PUSH!!! Get him out of there!!"
"Great Doodoo Butter finally! Aaaaahhh!"
…
Oh my gosh, well if you don't want to hear this, then you will need to stop reading.
Now, a rift has opened up above me and my surroundings along with myself are now being dragged to the outside world.
I can hear screaming, cursing, and a whole lot of other stuff I refuse to understand. I can also literally feel my body exiting the ol belly apartment, so excuse me for a moment while I'm petrified due to unholy horror and god-like disgust.
…
"Finally!!"
"My God, in all my years of helping with childbirth, I have never encountered a situation like this. Thankfully, however, the baby is fine. Would you like to hold him, Lady Nuhuang?"
"Yes, I do, please. Since this child gave me so much trouble now, he better be someone great in the future."
"I—Is this truly our son? Oh dear wife, let me look at him. His eyes are so bright and wide!"
"Yes, my husband, I see it in his eyes, too. It's as if he's seen the wonders of the world. I wonder what he's thinking about?"
WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN.