I was up early the next day, even earlier than yesterday because I had become more excited but it was not because I had to be in university early, it was to meet Jessica. Today, I was even better dressed and hurriedly went downstairs for breakfast. My parents did notice this and they thought that I was in a hurry for a class or something and I would like to keep it that way, for now at least. The plan was to leave an ever-lasting impression on Jessica and try to talk to her; even a few words would work.
It was early and I was in no mood to rush so I drove calmly as I was hoping for a little progress for today the entire way. Thoughts about Jessica had stormed me and I pieced together what I was going to say. I knew that I had to play it along; I could not be straightforward with her yet and just tell her how I felt yesterday. She would probably freak out and reject me, so I had to keep it steady as we made progress towards understanding each other.
The university was so lively, people roaming everywhere, doing whatever they find best with whoever they find best. Of course, there was a defined code of conduct, which you had to follow. Suddenly, I realized I was ignoring Amber since yesterday and it was all because of Jessica. I have never ignored her before, maybe this time it was different, I did not feel like talking to her maybe because of what had happened or maybe Jessica had already taken her place in my mind. Even so, I took out my mobile to send a quick text to Amber asking about how she has been in the past three days.
"Hey, how are you amber? How are things? I missed you." I sent it as a text.
Technically, I did miss her in a way. After all, I still cared about her.
"I'm miserable, leave me alone." Amber replied.
Probably, the only right thing to do was to leave her alone for a while again, she was replying as if she was returning the favor of being my girlfriend. It was sad and a bit tragic as well that I was stuck with her in the first place. We met through a mutual friend, started dating, and then we rushed into a relationship that had now started to take a downside.
I had to maintain my mood for Jessica. If I talk to her in a bad mood, I would most probably end up ruining the moment and probably would not get a second chance to redeem myself because she sure looks like a person who does not believe in second chances. I have to be both, smart and calm, with Jessica so that I do not raise any red flags in the process. She would immediately back down and confine herself if she felt this way, therefore, aggression was not the wise choice.
I had planned on breaking up with Amber first and then talking to Jessica because after she gets comfortable with me she was definitely going to ask about my relationship status and then I can tell her that I was single. This would improve my footing in front of Jessica and our possible relationship will not start with a lie.
When I stepped into the class, she was already sitting with a boy, who was not even from the department. This was a clear violation of the university's code of conduct but they were not bothered. It seemed to me that they knew each other for quite a while as they were having solid conversations as well. At that instant, something shattered inside, I was unable to comprehend how quickly this happened that she looked like she was having a good time with someone so quick.
They were sitting on the right-wing. I looked down at the floor in disappointment and sat quietly on the left-wing without even noticing them. A girl came and sat next to me, I looked towards her, hoping it was Jessica but unfortunately, it was someone else. I passed a smile so that she feels comfortable and then looked towards the board. I was in over my head, it was not that I could just go to a stranger and just tell her how I felt, she would feel harassed or something. I knew that she was texting someone and that someone could be her boyfriend. I did not expect him to be in the same university as us. I should have made an impression on her yesterday. The waiting was getting on my nerves but the professor came into the class and it all settled.
"What are you looking at?" She asked in a low voice.
"It's nothing." I replied without looking towards her.
"I'm Ruby."
"Hi. It's nice to meet you." I still did not bother looking at her.
"Are you Eric Brown?"
"Yes." I replied.
Now she had my attention.
A beautiful girl, with a good body and a very large smile, was looking towards me while wearing a purple top with dark blue jeans.
"I liked your introduction." She continued.
"Thanks." I replied while turning towards the instructor again.
"Do you want to grab something after the class?" She asked.
"Sure." I whispered as a reply.
I could use some refreshments after the class, it will be better to take Ruby along than to sit alone and drink. Maybe, I should wait until the end of the class to decide.
As the class ended and other people started to leave, Jessica was still sitting with that person and talking about something. I quietly gathered my things and started to put them in my bag. I took out my phone to check a few notifications, taking about 5 minutes to make my final decision.
"So, you want to grab a drink or something?" I asked her as I turned towards her.
"Sure." She replied with a smile.
Smiling back at her was natural. As expected, Jessica was looking at me as both of us got up from our seats at the same time. I moved back to give Ruby some room to get ahead and move in front of me. Jessica was constantly looking at me while that person was busy on his phone or something and ignoring Jessica. Deliberately, I looked into her eyes so that she would feel that she made a mistake and then thinks about me. To my surprise, she kept on looking in my eyes without blinking even for a little bit so I passed a smile and started to walk towards the door as Ruby was standing outside and waiting for me. Technically, it was rude to keep someone waiting but I sincerely hope, that she felt that coming into a relationship with a person who gives his phone more attention was a big mistake.
I did not say a word to Ruby while we were going to the cafeteria for some refreshments but she was indeed a constant chatterbox. Telling me all about her life, dreams, and problems, in which I had zero interest right now but still I pretended that I was paying attention to it. Upon reaching, I asked Ruby to take a seat while I got something. When I came back, I noticed that Jessica was sitting at the table next to us and my chair was exactly behind her. As I sat on the chair, I observed that our shoulders touched.
"So where are you from, Eric?" Ruby asked while sipping her drink.
"Born and raised here." I replied.
"Wow, that's nice."
"Yes."
"What do you do for fun?"
"I work on cars in my past time."
"What kind?"
"The ones which go fast enough to make your heart skip beats."
"I like that."
"You do?"
"Yes, I'm into cars."
"That's great."
"What about you? What are you fond of?"
"I like to do makeup at times."
"You've got good experience with makeup too."
"How can you say that?"
"Your make up can speak for itself. It's looking good."
"I never noticed."
"Well, now you did."
"Yes. I did."
"Great."
"So, are you single?"
"Not quite."
"What do you mean?"
"I meant that I'm reserved."
"Who is it?"
"There is a certain someone."
"Tell me."
"Sorry, I can't."
"What are we doing here then?"
"We are having a drink."
"That was not what I meant."
"Well, you weren't specific enough."
"You're an idiot. I hope you know that." She replied in a furious tone as she got up from her chair and left.
It was not my fault that she was expecting something other than a drink; I was not interested in her in any way possible. Taking my time, I enjoyed my drink with our shoulders still touching with slight movements. She was having lunch or something, but she was very quiet about it and the person was still with her. He looked occupied somewhere or with something, I did not know nor did I care about it.
I remained seated while leaning on the chair as Jessica's elbow still touched my arm. To my surprise, I did not hear either one of them talk about anything. She just ate and the person constantly kept on looking at his phone. I could not do anything but daydream and feel terrible about my foiled plans with Jessica. We would look good together, or at least I would not ignore her for anything or anyone else. She would be the most important thing in my life. After a good 5 minutes, my phone vibrated in my pocket by a text from Amber.
"Eric? Are you free tonight?" read the text.
"Most probably, what do you have in mind?" I sent a reply.
"I just wanted you to come. I'm home alone and I'll make you feel special."
"I'll try to come, no promises though." I sent the last reply.
Later that night, I could not pinpoint what I was feeling. At one time, I was feeling disoriented and the other I was filled with anger. I had just lost a person who I did not even talk to yet. I was driving towards Amber's place when suddenly I thought, what if they have a fight or something and just not work out. Then I might have a chance with Jessica.
I sounded the horn when I was in Amber's driveway. She popped out the window and saw me with astonishment. I think she did not expect that I would make it. I stood there in my car waiting for her to come down and let me know why she had me drive out here.
"Eric? You were supposed to be an hour early; we were supposed to have some fun. My mom's already home now. I was wearing a special dress for you but she came back before you even made it." Amber said abruptly with anger.
"First of all, don't shout at me. Second, you should have told me that before." I replied
"Told what?"
"That I had to be here on a given time."
"You didn't know?"
"How was I going to know?"
"You always know things."
"What are you doing here?" Amber's furious mother asked me.
"Nothing, I was passing by thought I pay her a visit."
"Oh, so you were passing by?"
"Yes."
"So you were coincidentally passing by when you thought I was going to be out of town. Are you having sex with my daughter?" inquired her mother.
I looked at Amber who was hiding her face from me, knowing what was going to happen next.
"Eric? Answer me. Are you two sexually involved? You do look like you came here just to have a good time." Her mother shouted at me.
I became furious at the mentality of that woman who accused me of having sexual relations with her daughter. Even though she invited me over, I could easily show her the text thread. I never even thought of touching her, although she did want me to do something at times but not me. Why is her mother putting this blame on me?
"Eric! Do you hear me?" She said furiously.
"Your daughter can give a better answer to that." I passed the comment while moving towards my car.
"Eric wait." Amber screamed.
This was what I was waiting for, a reason to walk away from this. Although, I am a little disappointed by the fact that her mother accused me of something I would only do if it were worth it. I knew something was off about them and even though I suspected them of conspiring against me but still I came to see her. God, Ruby was right, maybe I am an idiot. She was the one who called me to visit her in the first place. Was this all a conspiracy to get rid of me? I guessed so. I thought her mother was behind this. She was the one who had hated me all this time. Always finding ways to get rid of me, now she finally made a difference.
I left for home, pretending that nothing had happened. Feeling tired and irritated, I went straight to bed. Sleeping was considerably hard as my mind was in a constant battle. First, I found out Jessica was having a relationship with a boy, who happened to be in the same university but from a different department and now, it was not going to work out with Amber either. I had no other choice but to leave her and move on with my life. Trying my best to contain my emotions, I was able to fall asleep.
I woke up at my usual time on the next day and after I had freshened up, I chose to ignore my phone because something inside me knew that Amber must have sent some messages at night, which could wait. At least, I should enjoy my breakfast first and then take the risk.
"Are you still in love with me or not?" read the text message.
Amber had lost it, who even acts like this? To come to think about it, maybe she was never happy with me in the first place. I might have been just a tool to pass her time. She had given me this opportunity herself and now I will end it. It was better that I told this in person by simply standing on the sidewalk. Her mother tends to imagine things; I simply do not want to give her the chance to ruin my image any further.
After I got free from all of the day's classes, I drove down to Amber's place, disheartened. Not from the fact that Amber was about to leave, I felt quite happy about it actually, but from the fact that Jessica was taken. I had never wanted anything more in my life, as I wanted Jessica right now. She had a look in her eyes that penetrated deep inside me. She was struggling with something going inside of her and I could not help but wonder what it was.
I sent Amber a text to come down as I reached her driveway. She came down running.
"What are you doing here?" She whispered.
"What do you think?" I replied.
"I didn't think that you would drive out here because of that text."
"How are you so intelligent?"
"I was born like this."
"Wow."
"What is your problem?"
"I have no problems."
"Well. I wanted to tell you that we can't continue our relationship."
"Lovely."
"Lovely? I'm getting married."
"Congratulations."
"Eric? What's wrong with you?" She shouted.
"I'm just happy that you're getting married."
"What?"
"Yes really. Congratulations."
"Okay. Aren't you bothered that our relationship ended?"
"Does it matter? Do my feelings matter? No. You only consider your mother's feelings and do not give a damn about mine. Want a sincere suggestion?"
"Please." She said with tears in her eyes.
"Treat your to be husband as your husband and only your husband, not as your mother's slave. Let him live his life the way he wants. Do not restrict him in the things your mother tells you to do. Live your own life. Do not let her dictate you anymore. She has either ruined your life or you have ruined it yourself." I said in a harsh tone while moving towards my car.
Ignoring her tears, I drove back home. I knew in my heart that it was mean, but it had to happen.
Sincerely, I hope that Amber moves on and gives her husband his required love, care, respect, and importance. She is about to be married. She will eventually become a mother and it would no longer be about her anymore. It will be about her child. A dramatic split can ruin her child's life. It was not that I had feelings for her; it was about the innocent soul who would come into this cruel world and begin his journey while being neglected.