𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝟮𝟳𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗹.
"Eli... look, I know you are awake, you are constantly moving... What happened?"
"Sorry Sam, I didn't want to wake you up..."
"Don't worry, I can't sleep too." I said smiling, turning towards her.
"So... what's wrong, you're weird."
"Sam, I-... I want to talk to you. I want to tell you everything, I feel that you are the right person to know, you can understand me immediately and it is... the first time this has happened to me. Close to you... I feel "protected" really. Yes, I'm telling you I'm ready. But it's 2 am and it's late, you need to rest, let's wait for tomor... "
"It can be 2, 3, 6, any time... I listen to you. And... shit, you can't understand how I feel right now, no one has ever trusted me that much, I... thank you. I have nothing else to say. I'm just... very glad you want to talk to me about it."
"You are made of gold, I tell you." She told me sitting in front of me.
"Okay, I'll make it short. When I was 15, I weighed 120 kg... Given my physical condition, I couldn't do many things: I couldn't run like the others, I couldn't move like the others, I couldn't afford some clothes... I was teased... a lot. Besides the usual insults like "the whales are in the sea eh" "you need two chairs to sit" "we use Elisa as a ball today hahaha" "but how much do you weigh?" "but how much do you eat?" "you're so fat ahahah" "you're ugly" and you know... I had no friends. I couldn't "afford" them. My parents never helped me. They just sent me to the psychologist and made me skip a few meals "for my good." They never talked to me. I was completely alone. One day, at school, some girls beat me. That day... I felt really humiliated. The whole school was there watching, nobody did anything. I remember being back home destroyed. Literally. I got to the point where I was really tired of everything. I hated the most myself. I always wondered "why can't I be like the others, what am I different?" From that day on, I decided not to eat anymore. "I will not let the situation get out of hand," I repeated over and over. But I began to lose my mind almost entirely. I ate, I threw up. I didn't eat, I was sick. I also started getting pretty bad... Yes, the famous cuts. In all, I had lost 85 kg in less than two months. Crazy stuff. My legs... began to fail, my chubby cheeks disappeared, my skin was becoming more and more yellow, I was getting weaker every day... I had become a monster, I did not recognize myself anymore. One night I risked my life. I remember that retched began to rise, my vision became more and more blurred... Then I don't remember anything. Nobody ever told me. I woke up in the hospital and admit that at first I really thought I was dead. The doctors managed to save me at the last minute. I was really lucky that time. They held me in for a while, then advised me to come... here. They said I would feel safer, that they would be able to really help me. My parents did not hesitate a moment, just not to see me around the house anymore. Yes, they have always been cruel to me. So, after a few days, I found myself in here..."
Her voice broke.
I admit that I was crying too.
It was a story... brutal.
But how did they behave like that?
I don't... I don't...
Shitty monsters.
They had destroyed a girl.
Psychologically and physically.
But have they never realized it?
A sudden anger rose in me.
To break everyone's head.
We stayed almost infinite minutes without saying a word.
Everyone lost in their own thoughts.
Still with tears in my eyes, I hugged her.
We stayed for seconds, minutes, maybe hours... lost in that embrace.
I broke off first.
I took her hand and looked at her.
"Elisa, now I want you to listen to me, even if the greatest damage has already been done and there is no turning back. Fuck, how much I would give to do it. And how much I wanted to be there in those moments. How much I would have liked to help you even earlier. But now let's just talk about the future. I want to tell you something. After your story, I had the absolute confirmation that you are a really strong person. The strongest person I have ever known. I'm not kidding. I have also seen how many you have been through here inside, even though it's been maybe a month. You've been strong, you haven't given up easily, even when you've been hurt badly. Fuck, if I remember that moment. I don't know where you're going to take it, but I can't wait that you leave this shitty place... I want you to get out of here even stronger than before, I want to see you take everything under your control, especially with the dickheads, as soon as you get out I want to see you break the world. If you need it, I promise, I'll be there or help you put an end to this whole thing. You deserve to feel good, both physically and psychologically. You deserve it because you tried to fight and maybe even gave up in the past, but now you are taking everything back, starting only from the fact that you came here. I know you will make it, I'm sure. And last, but not least: please, never give any weight to your fitness again. Don't count it as a defect. Really, it doesn't matter if you're chubby, if you're thin... if you like yourself like that, the rest around you doesn't have to count for anything anymore. You learn to love yourself. Because if you love yourself, the world around you becomes unknown, there is only you. And fuck the people who judge you. Because remember: they will always find a pretext to bring you down, to make you feel small, to belittle you... That's why someone is not worth changing. Change for yourself, I swear it's a beautiful thing."
And so, I told her everything that was going through my head.
I've never been more sincere than this.
I really thought all those things.
Elisa deserves the world.
"Since it is now 4 am, you want to stay awake and... what do I know, do..."
OH FUCK.
OH. FUCK.
PLEASE I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
God no please, I look like a girl struggling with the first crushes, but come on!
LET'S GET BACK TO US.
ELISA WAS KISSING ME.
I swear it's not bullshit.
I'm not dreaming of it, as I usually do.
She was really kissing me.
I was unable to finish the sentence because Elisa slowly approached me and placed her lips on mine.
She was very delicate.
And in no time, we found ourselves with tongues dancing in our mouths.
It was a kiss... perfect.
Sweet, delicate...
A kiss that managed to bring out all our emotions.
All that in a month we have not been able to say in words.
Those little, big things... all wrapped up in a kiss.