The sunlight coming in through the window wakes me up. It's blinding when I finally open my eyes, but I still don't find the energy to get out of bed. I look over at Christy who is smiling at me.
"What?" I ask her, pushing her face jokingly and laughing.
"Oh, nothing," she remarks and sighs. "I just missed this. The way we were before, before the fighting and the arguing. Just the bliss."
I smile a little too much and she giggles at me as she gets out of bed. She walks over to the dresser and pulls a gray oversized shirt over her head, distracting herself with her own thoughts.
I do the same, pushing myself up from the bed and walking to the window. I look out at the community. People walking around, conversing and laughing. Children running freely, without worry or fear. Just the bliss. We need this place to work.
"What?" Christy asks me.
I realize I spoke out loud and regret my stupidity. Instead of trying to cover it up, I continue. "We need this place to work. We're going to make it work. This -- this is how we can live now. Think about it. All we have to do is fight for this place. We can make it our home. For Elizabeth. For the future. For them."
Christy smiles at me and walks over to me, putting her arms around my shoulders. She pulls me close and I can still smell her shampoo freshly absorbed in her hair.
"It will work. I know you, and I know your dedication." Christy pulls away from me and looks me in the eyes. "You have a big heart, John. I've never really said that, but you always want to care about others more than yourself. And although it may be destructive -- it makes a good man, and an even damn better father."
I can feel my eyes beginning to well up, so I hug Christy and then make my way to my bag. "I'm gonna go make some toast," she says, pulling the door quietly shut. "I'll see you down there?"
I nod, smiling to myself. "Yep, be down in a second."
☠
Pierce stabs the knife through the watermelon, splattering the insides all over the handle. He pulls the knife out and quickly licks some of the juice.
"Damn, that is good!" he exclaims to the group. "I can promise you, that's the way it's going to feel once you let out some of your aggression on these rotten motherfuckers."
Justin and I both collectively agreed that it would be best to start preparing the community members for war. However, fighting the enemy is only half of the problem. So, we enlisted Pierce to start training on how to effectively kill the dead.
"Here's some trouble spots you're gonna want to avoid. First, the mouth, the deadliest weapon and really the only weapon these guys have." Pierce points to a squiggly line drawn on with a Sharpie.
He puts his arm horizontally at the neckline. "Put your arm here to hold them back. It keeps them from biting you but gives you a vantage point. While holding them at this angle, bring your knife towards the side of the head and stab." Pierce stabs the watermelon again, making my mouth water.
"Alright, everyone, we're gonna call it for today," Justin says. "We'll be taking you out tomorrow for a visual demonstration. Nobody will have to worry about defending themselves though, I can promise you that." Some members look excited, some look nervous, but overall everyone leaves with tomorrow in mind.
I run up to Justin and give Pierce a high-five on the way up. "Nice demonstration, dude," I exclaim. "Mouth-watering." He laughs and uses the knife to start slicing the watermelon open, divvying up into snack-size portions.
"What's up?" Justin asks me. I look excitedly at him and say, "I want to lead tomorrow with the instructional. Let me show them how to do it."
He chuckles, then notices my hurt and stops himself. "John, buddy, not to sound rude but do you have any experience? Just because you seem like a pretty kick-ass dude doesn't mean you're able to do this."
"I've done it once." I lie. Justin stares at me for a while and then sighs.
"Shit, why not?" He exclaims. "Go ahead and lead, with Pierce assisting you. Just don't make a fool of yourself."
I contain my excitement while I'm handed a juicy piece of watermelon. Justin and I both bite into it at the same time. He exhales and looks up to the sky.
"Bliss," he remarks.
☠
"Alright, so here's one walking through the woods right now. I'm going to sneak up behind it, but to reference Pierce's technique from yesterday, we've got to get its attention first." I address the community members.
My body is shaking with fear. I shouldn't have lied to Justin. I really have never done things, but I wanted to look strong for members of the community. I walk up quietly behind the zombie and knock on the tree with the knife.
It turns around and looks at me, another hunk of flesh. I freeze at the sight. It's an elderly woman, close to her eighties. She was probably bitten in her sleep, or caught unprepared. I can't imagine being stuck in her shoes, at her age, in this world.
I realize that she's right in my face and I panic, throwing my arm under her neck to try and deflect her. My arm begins pushing through her decaying flesh, and I fight the urge to vomit. I slam the knife quickly into the side of her skull, and then kick her lifeless corpse to the ground.
Silence follows for a few moments, and then Pierce hollers in exhilaration. "Now that's how you do it, folks!" he screams, smacking me on the back. "A little improv, but you guys get the point."
I laugh to myself and stick the knife back in its sheath.
☠
I open the door and Christy walks into the hallway. "Come on!" she hollers, heading into the kitchen. "Dinner is ready, and we're starving."
I follow her to the table where I'm greeted by mashed potatoes, green beans, and pork roast. Christy sits at the table and grabs Lizzie's hand. "John, I know you haven't done this in forever, but do you want to join us in prayer over this meal?"
I stopped going to church a long time ago, after Christy and I separated. She must have kept it in practice, even after she left. It's always been something on the back of my mind. I contemplate it for a while and then sit down, grabby Christy and Elizabeth's hand.
"Dear Father -- thank you for this place you have given us. We don't know what is going on but we know you have given us this safe haven. Thank you for bringing us together and protect us through our journey tomorrow. Amen." Christy looks up and smiles, then grabs the food dishes and begins divvying it up.
"How was the teaching, Dad?" Lizzie asks me, and I freeze remembering my panic from earlier that day.
"Well," I start, "I kind of panicked a little because I've never had to instruct anybody on that kind of stuff." The thought comes to me again and I start sobbing quietly. Christy sets the food down and touches my shoulder.
"Why do I get this feeling this isn't what that's about?" She asks me.
"Because," I say, "I had to kill one that was really old and it just reminded me of Mom. I never really thought about her after all this happened, because I haven't been to see her in a couple months."
Christy looks at me and smiles comfortingly. I continue. "I just can't imagine living in this world with her dementia and it hurts me to know that she's already most likely gone without a goodbye."
Both Lizzie and Christy grab my hand, and we all sit in silence as we reflect on those lost and those still fighting.