Nakia – "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll get you the right ones." – John Lennon
"Nakia! Your question is… do you like Jennifer's hair?" asks my professor. My attention snaps to Jennifer. Her hair is a sort of yellow blonde, a bad bleach colour. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm hooked up to a lie detector, and if I lie, I'll fail the exam.
"No." I say bluntly. I see Jennifer's eyes narrow as the result comes up as a truth.
"Thank you for your honesty." My class echoes.
I run home, excited to see my letters, my parents wouldn't let me see them unless I passed today's test. I grab the letters off the black counter, distantly mumbling I passed to my mom. I close the door behind me and plonk onto the bed. I read them through quickly, I can almost sort each one into universes by their writing, as none of them say which universe they're from.
I shove them back onto my desk and walk over to my mirror. I stare at the medium heighted figure, the medium build, everything so… different. I flatten my short platinum blonde hair and stare in disgust at my murky brown eyes. Another thing I hate, my name. everyone here has got such ordinary names, like Andrew. But no, my name is anything but ordinary, Nakia.
"Nakia!" my mom calls, and I run downstairs.
"You need to lose weight," my mom comments as she sets the dinner down. I grit my teeth, I know Fidelis world is all about honesty, but I really wish people would keep their comments to themselves.
My father stares at me like I'm some unknown object.
"Question, do you still feel like a… non-binary person?" my father asks sharply. He's been asking me this since I first told him when I was fifteen, last year. I grit my teeth again.
"Yes." I put my knife and fork down and push my plate away. My mother looks up,
"Why haven't you finished it?" she asks,
"You told me I need to lose weight." I say through gritted teeth.
"Didn't you like it?" She persists.
"No." I answer. There are not many positives about living in a brutally honest world. However, this is one of them.
We finish the meal in silence.
I change into a black turtleneck, a white jacket and black trousers with dark boots. I clean my glasses before I leave the house. I find the courthouse easily; I've been going there since I can remember. I open the heavy doors and sit in the witness stand. I just sit there, for hours.
I get back late, my parents already asleep and I sneak upstairs. I re-read over the letters. I wish more than anything I could live in Rosaland or Rookland, Almaland or Joya land, even Relicta land, anywhere but here. I blink back the thoughts and turn off the light.
I lie awake, thinking of all the names I'd rather be called. Why Nakia? My mother once told me it means pure and faithful. I feel anything but pure.