I woke up, I hear beeping sounds. I feel groggy, I can't properly open my eyes. I can't properly make up where am I, all I see is just white.
"Oh, you're awake." said a man's voice.
I can't move my jaw so I groaned in recognition. I can't feel my mouth at all.
"He really hit you good, huh. Man, that guy's a monster..."
Finally, my eyes adjusted. A guy in a white uniform, a nurse. He's holding a clipboard and a pen. I tried to get up but he kept me down.
"Woah woah, easy now. You're fresh from operation, you shouldn't be moving."
I gently lied back down.
"Do you remember what happened?" he asked.
"Oh silly me, your head's bandaged shut. Do you remember VCG punching you??"
I pondered to myself and immediately memories came back to me...us going in to a sardine factory...me charging to a mutant...Aunt Pheene being mauled...her agony...her in a vegetative state... Nigel's angry tears...
My eyes started to blur, I can't feel my mouth but I can feel my eyes getting hot from tears. I can feel the aching of my chest from guilt.
"I'm sorry for what happened to your Aunt. We promise to do everything in our power to heal her. But for now, I should tell you what you need to know. Your skull was fractured from your right cheek down to your jaw. You underwent an operation to fix and remodel your face back to its real form, hence you can't go to the field until you're fully recovered. That'll be 3months at most, however that'll depend on you. Not only was your face deformed but your sense of balance could have been affected too. And your walking may also been impeded. So... you'll have to go through additional treatments, might take a year or so..."
My eyes widened in horror.
"I'm really sorry officer... Ill be back again later to check at your vitals, just rest as much as you have to."
And after that, the nurse left. I stayed lying there. My eyes shifted to the window, it's evening now. I stared at the white ceiling. I've thought of my aunt, thinking... she's second to the angriest person I know. Even literally at certain death, she was too angry to die. And now at her vegetative state...
This is awful, I'm really sorry Aunt Pheene...
I feel too weak to even lift my own arms to wipe the tears and snot off of my face...
Early in the morning, I was woken up not by the ship's alarm but by loud screams. I recognized that to be my aunt. I forced myself up, I plucked all the machines and the dextrose off my body and limped my way to the voice. I arrived at her designated room and found her squirming violently. Several soldiers are holding her down that she stay lying on bed.
"It burns it burns!!" she cried.
The medical team were panicking, not knowing what to do.
"We need to put her in coma, this can't happen every day!" I heard one of the doctors say.
They injected something to her. When she didn't stop thrashing, they kept adding doses untill she lies limply in bed. And then they injected her with a dextrose. They checked for her vitals before leaving. The soldiers went back to their positions. When the doctors saw me, they asked me how I am feeling and all. I may be standing but my heart feels like it's being gripped tightly.
"Can I visit her?" I pleaded using body language.
Nigel walks in out of nowhere, he's already up 30mins before the ship's alarm. He ignored me and walk in straight to his mom's room. I tried to approach him and he avoided my hand.
"Don't touch me!"
I looked at him with wide eyes.
"Don't forget you're the reason why she's suffering the way she does!"
My forehead wrinkled.
"Don't give me that look! Recovered or not, listen to me, you're not coming back on field. You are staying in this ship and you are never to step out of here. I can't have you in our team, you're a walking living hazard with your recklessness and disobedience!"
Nigel slams the door on me. I couldn't believe what I just heard...he's kicking me out of the team... My head dropped down and I return to my own room, defeated. What he said hurts too much that I can't even cry. I just sat on my bed, watched everything outside the window, watching the ocean waves. I sat there, not keeping up with the time. 'you're a walking living hazard!' kept ringing in my head...
The same nurse last night came in my room and with him is a doctor.
"Good morning Vol, you seem to be able enough to walk." said the doctor.
I blinked.
"However I can't let you out on the field yet, not until your face recovers. But for now, you'll go through physical therapy to see if you're performance is impeded."
I just sighed and looked back outside. Not long after, another face came in.
"Good day Mr...Ogram, I'm Renelyn and I'm a PT. You feeling ok?"
I shrugged.
"Hmm, let's run some tests shall we?"
She brought out something that's used to hit tendons to check reflexes. She hit my elbows and knees, normal; She made me move my my limbs, a bit weakened due to recent surgery but she said it's normal; Lastly she made me stand, I'm walking slowly and limping a little but like before, she said it's normal since I am newly operated. Dr. Renelyn still advised I rest but also she'll be coming to keep my muscles from degrading. She moved my limbs here and there asking if it's hurting me, the only time it hurt when she accidentally touched my jaw. And then, she left.
A few more hours in, my wretched room and I got bored. I got up and walked around the ship, I noticed something... people seem to be giving me this look of disgust... Their stares hurt... Even with my head bandaged up, they don't look like they'd care even if I die here and they'd all just walk past my corpse. I guess the word had spread. 'He's why CG's in coma.' Oh god...I shouldn't have left my room...
I continued walking until I'm outside. Soldiers do their thing, research departments idling sitting in their places waiting for something to do.
"Hey! You shouldn't be out here soldier! You're!..."
I looked at the direction of the voice and immediately he stopped.
"Bah! Nevermind, do what you want. I hope you drop dead."
The patroling soldier walk the other way. I looked down the dark waters surrounding this ship. I sigh to myself. I understand how they're feeling, I deserve the treatment I'm getting for not following orders. I was given a chance and I blew it! I BLEW IT!
I walked around some more, I'm starting to feel hungry. I can't just eat anything with my mouth shut like this, I probably need the stuff injected right in me. I didn't want to go back in my room though, it's kinda suffocating in there so I just ignored my hunger.
Walking around and soldiers see me. They'd all look at me and give me the cold shoulder, to be honest I don't mind since I don't even know anybody here other than Aunt Pheene's family, friends, and team. But even so, it just digs in my head more 'it's your fault!' I just want to dig a hole and hide...but I don't want to get back to my room... so instead I just lowered my head and avoided their burning gaze. I didn't wanted for that to happen.
I found a quiet spot in the ship where no one is patrolling. I leaned and rested my arms on the railings. I just looked far up to what my eyes can see, it's all just the dark blue waters, the clouds, and the bright blue sky. I inhaled the cool salty sea breeze, for a bit I felt...safe in... what's that term I always hear from a character?? Solitude? I guess so? I usually ask mom or dad or aunt for definitions...I just sighed deeply and from where I am standing, I felt the bottom of my eyes getting hot. The cool sea breeze sent chills down my spine and as I cry I shivered. It hurts...it really hurts... I know it's my fault and I didn't have the right to feel like I do right now. I was the one wrong, I shouldn't be the one crying...
"Soldiers, be ready!"
Suddenly it's so noisy. I power walked my way to the source of the commotion. Soldiers walked passed me and even bumped on me. Soon as they see who I am, they wouldn't help me. Some did pity me but that's about it, they'd still avoid me.
"Hold your fire! We need this one alive!"
That sounded like Nigel.