The rest of the week I spent delivering papers and working in the ice cream shop. I would begin working at the high school by next week.
Derek had agreed I could come over in the evenings after work. We were closer now. I told him everything because he kept bugging me, saying he wanted to know more about me other than my name.
Derek was not an only child, he had a brother whom he had not heard from in a while. He said he was in the city but they were not so close.
His parents were in another country; wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a quiet place. He had a sister whom he had not also seen for a while.
From his stories, they were super rich. When asked why he decided to run an ice cream shop, he said that ice cream was one thing that made life sweet. I laughed about it but then he was right in a way. Working at his shop was always the highlight of my day; I always looked forward to it and he never let me down.
I thought of visiting my daughter but I really did not know how to face her. Nancy thought it was a bad idea to see her yet, since she talked to Benita and she still seemed so angry. Derek thought it was a good idea to visit her, so she does not think I abandoned her. I did not even want to imagine my daughter thinking I abandoned her after killing her father.
"Hey uh, can I get off now? I need to see my daughter today," I told Derek as I whipped an ice cream for a customer.
"Yea sure," he replied and I removed my apron and ran off.
It was a cool evening, which was a perfect weather for strolling. I tucked my palms in my jacket pocket and walked to the foster home.
"Hello. I am Victoria Williams and I would like to see Benita Williams," I told the receptionist. She spoke into a phone then typed into her computer and told me to sign in.
I walked to the visiting room and waited at a table. She soon appeared, donning a yellow top and skirt. She was not as skinny anymore and she was more beautiful. I smiled at her but she kept a straight face.
"Hey baby," I greeted after she sat. "Baby, I am really sorry."
"I have heard that a lot from you, mummy. It is going to take more than just sorry," she said and my heart clenched. She was hardened.
"Baby, who told you that?" I asked.
She shot me a glare and looked away, "It does not matter. It hurts more that you did not deny it. But then, you can't deny what you actually did."
"Baby, they do not understand. I am going to tell you the whole truth. I will tell you everything," I said hurriedly.
"And what would that change? It would not bring my father back."
"Baby, I hope you understand me. I did not kill him on purpose," I tried explaining.
That seemed to interest her because she looked into my eyes. That gave me the motivation to narrate my story.
"I was just eighteen when my parents forced me to marry him. Things were not so good for us as it is not for me now. I begged them, told them I did not love him but they refused to listen. They arranged everything and soon I was married and in his house. After the wedding, I refused him touching me because he disgusted me. I saw him as heartless and wicked for forcing me to marry him. After two months, he began forcing me into doing it with him. I struggled, I fought but he was stronger. When I told people, they said he was my husband and had every right. My parents did not care. On the third month, I could not take it anymore. So that night, as he came onto me, I got a bottle and smashed his head with it. I thought I only made him unconscious and called an ambulance. When they arrived, he was confirmed dead. I was scared because that was not my intention. I was arrested and taken to court. No one agreed I was raped; they said we were legally married. Weeks in prison, I was confirmed pregnant and then I had you."
She was crying now and whispered, "Mummy."
"I am not asking you to hate your late father. I am not asking you to feel pity for me. All I am asking is that you do not hate me. I have lived with the guilt and my crime has always haunted me. You are the only one I got now. And I love you so much," I cried too.
She got up and embraced me, "Mummy, I am sorry for misunderstanding you. Thank you for explaining."
A woman came to take her, "Visiting times are over."
Benita untangled me and wiped my tears, "I love you, Mummy."
I smiled while the tears rolled down my cheeks, "I love you too, baby. Always and forever."
She followed the woman and disappeared behind the door she came in.
I went home happy and told Nancy about my encounter but she did not seem so happy about it. That ticked me off. Why was she not happy for me? I waved it off and went to bed.
The next day, I got off early from ice cream work to see my daughter again but she was gone. A family had taken her.