I felt sad, dejected and unreasonable. I began feeling regret for giving Benita away. I tried the address of her foster family but I was told they left the city for good.
Does this mean I would never get to see my daughter again? I have not started work yet. I had felt so depressed I called in sick for two days now. I knew I was putting my new job on the line but I could not help it. Nancy and Derek had tried cheering me up, but I stubbornly stayed put and grieved.
Today, I laid in bed in an awkward position, covered in my pajama and a blanket. My hair was a mess and tissue paper was strewn around. I had not eaten nor bathed or cleaned up. I and my room stunk. Nancy walked in and I regretted not locking my door.
"Girrrrrrllll, you need to stop and pull yourself together," she whined and tugged off my blanket.
"Leave me alone," I replied and blanketed myself again.
"Life has given you a chance to make things right and you want to miss that opportunity?" she tried again. "How much longer do you think your job would keep being patient with you?"
"I lost my daughter," I cried.
"Oh please," she replied, irritated. "It has been done and you can't change it. You just have to move on now. And you have got me now. Why can't you appreciate that I am here for you?"
"I do appreciate you. But I miss my daughter," I said.
"I am not arguing the fact. But you can't turn back the hand of the clock. Just continue from where life left you off," she gestured.
"What do I do?" I asked. I did not want to ruin this job I got on a platter.
She beamed, "First, you have to get out of bed and freshen up. Then, we will both go out. Okay?"
"Okay," I said and got out of bed. I freshened up and when I got to the sitting room, I found Nancy and Derek arguing. They stopped when they saw me.
"Hi," they said quickly.
I forced a smile and waved, "Hi? I did not hear you come in. What is happening?"
"I only came to see how you are faring," Derek said.
"And he was just leaving," Nancy glared at him and faked a smile at me.
What is going on?
"I was not actually. I wanted us to go out. Just so you could leave the house," Derek said.
"I am doing that already," Nancy retorted.
"No one said he could not come along," I said and Nancy glared at me. "Right?"
Derek smiled at me and then Nancy, "No one said I could not."
"Okay then. Let's hit the road." And we all set out.
We went to a restaurant and ordered food. After eating, we set out to the amusement park.
"Let us try the horses," Derek said.
"Let us go to the Ferris wheel," Nancy countered.
"Uhhh... Why don't we try the merry go round instead?" I asked to ease the tension, as Nancy was glaring at Derek. What was wrong with her? I would ask her later.
"Sure," Derek agreed.
"But I love the Ferris wheel," she whined, as I dragged her to the merry go round.
I and Derek screamed round after round, while Nancy folded her hands and sulked, sometimes glaring at Derek. When we were done, Nancy suggested we take selfies at a booth while Derek thought we should play video games. I liked the video game idea better; but when I said so, Nancy huffed and puffed and stormed off.
I was astonished. "What was that about?" I asked after a moment of silence.
Derek shrugged, "I do not know. She has been acting all weird, possessive and jealous. She does not let me see you. Does not want me near you and you near me. She even told me she would pay me anything so that I will tell you to stop working at the shop."
I was more dumbfounded. What was happening with Nancy? "Really? Why would she do such a thing? It is not even about the money."
"I know. You are repaying me," he said.
I blushed, "It is not even about that anymore."
He looked at me intently and asked, "What is it about then?"
I blew a breath and confessed. "I just enjoy being around you. You are the first person since prison that I have really had a connection with. Nancy has always wanted to be close but I could not just connect with her. You and ice cream really know how to make me forget about my worries." We both laughed.
"It is fine. It is nothing at all," he said.
"It is everything to me. Thank you so much," I said.
"It is fine. Come on, we are not done yet," he dragged me to the horses.
When I got home, I found Nancy drinking.
"Nancy, what is going on?" I questioned her.
"Nothing," she replied and continued.
I was even more worried, "Nancy, what is the problem?"
"I do not know. You do not care about me," she said.
"What? Why would you say that?" I queried, confused.
"I have tried to be close to you. Tried to come in but you would not let me in. Why? What have I done wrong? I am your friend. And ever since you met Derek, we have grown farther apart," she scoffed.
"Nancy, I really appreciate all you have done for me. But I am not letting you in for a reason. I do not want you to get my bad luck. You are still so young and you have got a whole life ahead of you. I do not wish to ruin that," I explained.
"Ruin it," she said and that surprised me. "I want to be everything to you."
I smiled at how sincere she was. She was indeed caring. "You are like my baby sis. And I would do anything to protect you. Even if it meant protecting you from me."
I collected the glass from her, dropped it on the table and embraced her. "Thank you."
She exhaled and held me tight.