Dropping off Benita was not as easy as I thought it will be in my head. She fought and screamed and cursed. I never knew she had this side to her; but then every situation brings out a side of you. I cried as I walked home in the rain, remembering how she kept screaming how much she loved me, instead of hating me like most kids would. I promised myself that no matter what happened, I was gonna make money, get out of my dilemma and go get my daughter back before a family takes her.
I was soaking wet by the time I got home. I am sure I looked like a piece of trash a dog dragged in. I sighted bags outside in the rain and wondered what was happening. I checked them to find out they were mine. Were my parents throwing me out? I rushed to the door and began pounding on it.
"Mom? Dad? Please open the door," I called out loud.
"Take your stuff and leave. I am sure we got everything," I heard Mom say.
I banged on the door, "You can't just throw me out like that. I am your daughter."
"We are throwing you out, since you are throwing your daughter away too. I just discovered it runs in the family," Dad said.
"Where do you want me to go to?" I asked weakly, shivering in the cold.
"We do not care," Mum said and I heard footsteps going up the stairs.
Sometimes, I wondered if these were my real parents. I sat on the floor and thought of what to do next. I told myself I would not cry anymore, I had done enough of that lately. I had no aunts, uncles or cousins in the city. No friends anymore, except Nancy. I have never been at her place before so I didn't have her address. Maybe I could sleep in an alley or something. I picked up my stuff, consisting of a school bag and one travelling bag and set off for a close by tunnel.
As I walked, I thought of everything that had been happening to me the last couple of days. Has not been funny. A car splashed water on me but I couldn't care less, since I was already drenched.
"Excuse me, Miss," I heard someone say but I ignored it and trudged on.
"Hey," the voice was closer and its owner covered me with an umbrella just as I looked up to him. It was the ice cream man from today.
"Oh hi," I forced a smile. "Uh...fancy seeing you again."
"Uh hi," he said and looked at my luggage. "Where are you headed to under the rain and without an umbrella?"
I looked at my luggage and scratched my head, "Uh... I have got to get to my friend's place."
"Why did you not wait in a shed till the rain stopped? Or you could have just waited till tomorrow. It is dark already," he stated.
I looked at the sky to see he was correct. I did not even notice. Am I even alive?
"Well... Uh... " I thought of another lie. "You see, I was already out before the rain began."
"Come on, you could wait at the ice cream shop until the rain stopped," he said, turning around and pointing the way.
Sounded like a good idea to me, so I followed. We got to the shop and I dropped my luggage in a corner. I sat in a booth and cuddled myself. He disappeared into a door behind the counter and reappeared with a change of cloth.
"The bathroom is that way. You could go change there," he pointed to another door.
I stared at him a while and took the clothes and went to change. How can I trust someone I just met? I asked myself. But then, I had no choice here. Life never leaves me with a lot of options, it was either this or nothing. Totally not fair. But then again, life is not fair. I got back to my booth to find a jacket but not the ice cream man. I snuggled into the jacket and got my phone out my bra. Do not ask why I put it there.
"I hope you are comfortable enough?" I heard him ask and looked up to see him walking towards me, hands in pocket.
"That is one scary question," I replied.
He sat on the other side and asked why.
"Because every time I try to get comfortable, life finds a way to throw me off balance. That is so uncomfortable," I replied and rubbed my arm.
"I am sorry, I ran out of coffee and there is only ice cream here now," he smiled and rubbed his neck.
I smiled genuinely, "Nah. It is okay. I am fine and you have done enough."
He smiled too and I admired his dentition. "Where is the little girl? Your daughter, right?"
My smile dropped and I sighed. How do I explain this to a stranger?
"What is wrong? Is she sick? Is she okay?" He asked quietly.
"No. No. She is fine. I just could not keep her anymore," I whispered.
His face scrunched up in confusion, "What does that even mean?"
"It is hard to explain," I said, trying to drop the subject.
"I am sure if you start from somewhere, it would not be as hard as it seems," he pushed.
I exhaled, "Things have not been so well for me and I did not want her suffering with me. So, I dropped her off at a foster home."
Look at me. Spilling all my secrets to a total stranger. I scolded myself subconsciously.
He was astonished, "What about her father? You took that decision without him?"
"He is dead. And my parents blame me for it. I have no one. I have nothing," I did not know where the outburst was coming from but it was out before I could stop it.
"I am sorry," he covered my palm with his on the table. "It will be fine."
I shook my head, "It would not. It has not and will never be."
"Do not say that. Be positive."
I nodded slowly, letting the positivity sink in. "I will be fine. It will all be fine."
"That is the spirit," he patted my palm. "Get some rest. You look like you need it."
I lay down on the booth, "Goodnight."
"We are not properly introduced," he said, as he lay on his side of the booth.
"I am Victoria. Victoria Williams," I said and closed my eyes.
"Derek," he said as I shut my eyes, dozing off.