I was dating someone
Well now I'm not
He broke up with me
It was a fairly long distance relationship and we rarely talked anyway
But I somehow feel like something important was taken from me
I know this is not what a break up feels like
But I'm glad I got to experience at least one in my lifetime
I never thought anyone would compliment me and stuff like he did
But it seems that we didn't understand relationships
He is young after all
He has many things ahead of him
I don't
I know I don't
I need to die and start over
There is nothing here for me anyway
Everything is always my fault
That's the truth
I'm not saying it in a "oh the blame is always on me" way
I'm saying it in the "yes it's my fault" way
I failed as a human because my mother failed as a mother and my father failed as a father
I failed because I'm inefficient at teaching myself how to live
I don't know how
I never had what everyone else had
Parents that do things with you
Siblings that have your back
Friends that make you laugh and acknowledge your existence
People to even look at your efforts
Going on different trips
Overcoming my fears
Overcoming my anxiety
My depression
My need for conversation
No one understands
And no one can because I can't talk
No one likes me because I have nothing
I do nothing
I say nothing
I'm not funny
I'm not pretty
I'm useless
Absolutely useless
No one
Why wasn't I born a great person?
I was born a literal nobody
I have nothing
I am nothing
No one can say otherwise
Because they don't know who I am
What movies or shows do you like?
I don't know
What's your favorite food?
I don't know
What's your favorite color?
I don't know
What do you like?
I like writing, bowling, playing piano, making music
But that's literally it
I'm nothing else
I can't get help because no one truly understands
I'm alone
Very alone
I need to die
Because I have nothing
And I can never be anything
End
[btw he was an ass anyway and our relationship was false so I won't count it as someone I've dated lmao]