My eyes fluttered open, blinded by the bright slice of light streaming from the window. A tray of food lay untouched by the nightstand. Rice porridge that had gone cold and a piece of bread that had gone hard by now.
I guess emperor Yuan had decided upon letting me sleep the night off instead of waking me up.
I noticed I was moved, I was no longer on the same spot where I fell asleep last night. I woke up in the middle of the bed with pillows propped comfortably under my head and a thick blanket neatly spread over my body, making me wonder if the emperor did all this to me?
I found myself blushing at the thought of his kindness.
I yanked myself upward and searched for him but emperor Yuan had long left his chamber. The sun had long risen and there was no sign of him anywhere. I was alone in this big chamber with nothing but the messy clutter of scrolls and parchments all over the place.
Emperor Yuan let me sleep most of the morning away.
I pulled the blanket away and got out of the bed, skittering on my bare feet trying to get to my own chamber when I found third prince Julong in the hallway. He stood silent and motionless facing the door to my chamber. His hand hovered curled into a fist as though he's in the middle of contemplating whether to knock on my door or not.
He stood frozen until a silent click distracted his attention. I closed emperor Yuan's door.
His head lifted over to his shoulder expecting to see his brother when he saw me instead. His eyes widened as he stared at me, at my wrinkled clothes, and my newly woken state.
A knot formed on prince Julong's forehead confused when he saw me. For a long time, his gaze was fixed on me until he put two and two together and drifted his eyes to emperor Yuan's chamber.
"Prince Julong." I breathe already feeling the dark loom of anxiety over us.
I know what this must look like to him, and I realized what's happening inside his mind. He must think I slept with the emperor last night.
My mouth opened cultivating the right words to explain what happened when he abruptly turned around, he was eager to leave and I was prompted to chase after him.
Prince Julong walked fast eating the long distance of the hallway with his strong legs, even with the steel armor weighing him down, his speed was nimble and I had to jog on my bare feet just to catch up to him.
"It's not what you think!" I said in a hasty breath.
I was ignored as he continued upon meandering with his heavy boots in the hallway, turning the heads of every guardsman posted every ten yards. They could tell the prince was angry.
"Julong, please. It's not what you think. Emperor Yuan heard me crying last night and wanted me to stop. He brought me into his room so I would mind my crying. I didn't sleep with him!"
He paused and made as a sudden sharp turn. His dark gaze bore down on me as he changed his direction walking back to my direction. I held still as I refused to sink in no matter how upset he appeared. I have no reason to bend under him, my conscience was clean, I did nothing wrong and I told him the truth.
I saw the unsteady jitter of his pupils as he sifted through the clashing thoughts inside his mind. I saw that he, too, was trying to formulate the proper words to say so he won't get misunderstood.
"So, you just happened to fall asleep in his room?" He asked sharply.
"He said I should sleep, and he wanted to keep an eye on me." I reasoned.
"In his room?"
"He didn't want me alone in my room."
"So, you did exactly what you were told?"
"Julong, your brother is the emperor. What am I supposed to do?"
He glared at me with his cold steel eyes that weigh heavy on me.
"Believe me, Julong." I plunged into desperate beg.
Prince Julong let himself relaxed, not entirely but enough to where he's not fueled with uncontrolled fervor.
"I was giving you your space, Jasmine. You knew I will wait for you no matter how long it took." Julong let out a shuddering breath. "I spent days standing at your door hoping you'd talk to me, let me console you, I knew you were grieving and didn't want to push it. I knew you needed time and I was giving it to you."
"Yes, you'd been there." I breathe.
"And you didn't care, you left me there outside your door and blocked me out while you let eldest brother console you instead!"
I felt his anguish reverberated through him, prince Julong was hurt and I had done this him.
"Remember that night when I found those concubines lain on your bed?" I stammered.
"Yes." He said with a bob on his throat.
"You said you guys weren't doing anything. You were just sipping on wine and I believed you."
He blinked, clueless about where I'm going with my stammering.
"What're you saying, Jasmine?"
"I'm saying I need you to believe me. I had never lied to you, Julong."
"No, Jasmine. I can't." He shook his head and took his gaze away, drifting them everywhere else but me, Prince Julong refused to look at me. "I can't do this. I just lost my brother and father, I grieve as much as you do. This is too much for me to handle right now. I can't deal with you, and eldest brother. I need my own space, I need some time alone."
He turned around without as much as saying anything else. He's done talking to me and I knew his mind was made up. He was hurt, he didn't want to believe me, and above all, he needed to heal from his loss. We were all at turmoil with what we went through. He stormed out of the hallway, and I was too upset, too distraught to chase after him. I let him get away.
I would not see prince Julong again for a long time, because I found out he headed straight for his camp and packed his things, taking his post to the southern part of the country to fight the rising surge of insurgents wanting to take over the current dynasty.
Prince Julong chose his war to distract his mind. It was one lost after another. I lost Hoon and now prince Julong is gone as well, leaving me into further loneliness.