Hyeri sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. It was just another day she'd have to suffer, feeling numb. She was, to put it in the simplest terms, lonely.
Loneliness is a powerful feeling. It's crying in a bathroom stall with no one comforting you. It's going to the coffee shop alone, and looking around to see everyone accompanied by someone, except you. It's carrying the weight of all your sadness, emotions, dreams, and thoughts, all alone.
Hyeri had experienced all of this, and more. But she hadn't cried. Ever. Which was a grave mistake. To cry would have relieved her of some sadness, let her carry a little less. But she didn't want to be weak. With a storm of thoughts in her head and a heavy heart, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked out of her house.
However, that day at school, Hyeri decided that she'd had enough. She was tired of going through the same motions every day without anyone to share her thoughts with. So she decided to try and make a friend. She spotted a redheaded girl sitting across the cafeteria, with headphones on. The girl was gently nodding along to her music while writing something on her notebook. Hyeri hesitantly walked up to her.
"H-hi," Hyeri stuttered. She was already beginning to doubt that this had been a good idea.
"Hi," the girl replied, taking off her headphones and putting her phone down. She looked at Hyeri expectantly.
That was all Hyeri could manage before she looked at the girl's phone, and saw what song she was listening to: "The Fool on the Hill" by the Beatles. That used to be her mother's favorite song... and Hyeri couldn't bear to think of the last time she'd heard it. She tensed up slightly, and forced a smile at the girl.
"Sorry, I thought you were someone else," she replied, hoping that her face didn't give anything away.
"Oh, okay," the girl replied shrugging and giving her a smile.
Hyeri gave her a short wave and rushed to the nurse's office. She felt sick. There was an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach, like there was an emptiness she couldn't quite place. She supposed she must have looked sick, for the nurse looked at her with concern and let her leave early.
As soon as she got home, she stormed inside and threw her backpack onto the ground.
As Hyeri laid on her bed, her head throbbing, there was a storm building inside her mind. Why her? Why did her life have to end up like this? Why couldn't her parents still be alive? Why did she have to shut all her friends out all that time ago? Why couldn't everything be okay again? She imagined her mother's voice in her head, soothing her. Her mom was humming a song, something that sounded familiar. Then her mom started singing,
"But the fool on the hill
Sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head
See the world spinning 'round"
Hyeri let out a pained sob, and buried her head in her pillow. She cried as all of the sadness that had built up inside her flowed down her cheeks. She cried her parents, for herself, and for all that she'd lost. Salty bitterness was the last thing she tasted before she drifted into a fitful sleep.
Self pity is perhaps one of the most useless things in life. But it is perhaps one of the most human emotions one can experience. To Hyeri, that somehow made her feel better about her situation. It made her feel like what she was experiencing was understandable, and not wrong. And in truth, it was understandable, and not wrong in the least.
After what felt like an eternity, Hyeri opened her eyes, and sat up, rubbing them. She tasted the salt on her lips and sighed. As we mentioned before, she was very lonely. So of course she was scared out of her wits when she saw a short, silver-haired boy standing in the doorway of her room, looking extremely concerned and confused.
"Wow. In all my years, I have never seen someone cry that long. I mean, I've been standing here for like 40 minutes, and you were crying before that, too. Should I get you some water? I mean, you must be really dehydrated, right?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"You know what, I'm good," Hyeri replied in a hoarse voice, before falling into complete darkness.
A/n: Hi everyone! The first chapter is out! I'm really excited for everyone to read this one and get your guys' opinion. I really like the song I mentioned in this chapter, you all should check it out if you haven't heard it. Thanks everyone for reading, and don't forget to vote and comment!
With love,
Prisha