Hey guys...
I'm sorry.
This story was meant to be an introspective piece that outlined my perspective of, well... everything. As you can probably tell, I failed to reach that goal.
I wanted you all, the readers, to grow and understand yourselves more just as Seth did along his journeys. I wanted you all to learn from Seth's mistakes and his triumphs.
I also wanted to learn about myself and gain more understanding of my own ideas through this story.
I just... couldn't do it.
Although I don't know if I will pick this story back up ever again, I really didn't want this to be an unclosed chapter of my life forever.
I at least want to leave you all with my main reason for even writing this story in the first place.
I wanted to show everyone that there is no reason for anything, but that is all right. In this chaotic, uncaring, unforgiving world, nothing really has a purpose.
At the end of the story, I wanted to have a scene where Seth, after all of his trials and tribulations, finally meets his creator, me. I wanted Seth to look me in the eyes and ask me why I tortured him so, why I created so many lives, just to snuff them out and leave the rest to suffer. I wanted to tell him that there was no reason, other than that I just felt like it.
I wanted Seth to inquire further, to interrogate me about the real reason I caused all this pain and suffering. I would just sit there and tell him that there was no reason, no end goal. All of this suffering had no real purpose.
I wanted Seth to get angry, to fall into a berserker rage, and kill me, destroy the universe, whatever. I wanted to pour my anger and frustrations at the purposelessness of everything I, and everyone else, has had to go through.
But, I have learned a lot over the years I have been gone. Although there is no innate reason for anything, that does not mean that you shouldn't do anything.
You are free to create your own purpose, your own meaning. You can decide to make the world a better place, to become successful, or to just be happy. There are no wrong choices.
I know a lot of you probably wouldn't have read too deep into the book and just liked 'beeg number go very high very fast.' I know that many readers of fantasy stories are trying to escape from the challenges and horrors of everyday living (I too, enjoyed turning off my brain for the occasional power fantasy). But I felt that a power fantasy setting could be a unique basis for an introspective work of this kind.
All in all, I am kind of disappointed in myself for giving up on this work, but I still try to use my creativity in other avenues.
I wish you all the best,
H3LL0_W0RLD
p.s. If this sounds like it was written at a far lower standard than the rest of my writing that is because A. I haven't actually written anything real in years and B. I heavily edited every single chapter for days before I posted them
p.p.s. I had a lot of trouble writing this story and focusing on it. It would take me days to write a chapter, with me writing like a single paragraph then being unable to focus and giving up and watching a youtube video, rinse and repeat for a couple of hours (I had a lot of free time). I'm going to probably do an ADHD screening if I ever actually get around to it (I probably won't). If it turns out I do have it and the medications actually work, I might be able to come back to this story and finish it out like I had meant to
p.p.p.s. (Yeah, I know this is getting annoying). I may or may not post the story outline that I made (Maybe not because it's pretty cringe, you know how power fantasies go). Just know that not much was set in stone and I wanted the story to flow around as Seth grew and changed.