As I walk up the aisle to meet Kate in the stands, I feel a familiar queasy feeling accompanied by a pain coursing through my face.
I clutch my left cheek in a futile effort to ease the pain. I stop—letting the draining feeling subside. "Looks like I went and showed off too much," I say to no one in particular. I then continue up the aisle to Kate.
That draining feeling, when I was younger I'd convinced myself it was a thing all humans experienced or at least enhanced ones. I brought it up to my mom once. All it earned me was a concerned visit to the doctor, and more questions. It didn't take long to notice that the pain was the most intense around the mark. This led me to believe it to be the cause of my grief.
Knowing didn't solve much, but it did help a little. I found it happened after using magic, even if I used it sparingly. I thought that taking in shadows like before my enhancement, would work. Instead it would bring the draining feeling immediately. So I mostly built my current fighting style on using my magic sparingly to minimize the backlash.
But when Kate had been cheering for me—it lit a fire in me. A fire that quickly went out as her eyes met my own. My hands feel clammy, and I feel like whatever I'm about to say is going to be stupid. The confidence I had moments ago must've abandoned me in the hall.
Kate's eyes are intense, like twin jewels born from fire. I try to think of something to say, as not to be rude, and look away. But Kate has already started gushing to me about the fight.
"Benji you were amazing out there, and that weapon," she says, imitating my scythe, "I've never seen it before, and Sue had told me she'd shown me every one of them—"
She continues on about the fight, weaponry, and someone named "Sue". I'm so startled by her amazement and somewhat child-like wonder, I couldn't help but laugh. She stops swinging her "scythe"—blushing.
"Sorry Sorry," I say, getting a hold of myself, "You surprised me is all."
From my first impression, I would've never expected her eyes to shine like they were. I certainly would've never thought they'd shine because of me. She has a unique affinity for crying out loud!
She still looks a little flustered so with a nervous laugh I add, "And shadow magic is nothing new, but you lightning is—"
"NO," She interjects, quite loudly, startling me. "No," she says again, meeker this time," It's—not that great."
She looks away avoiding my gaze, embarrassment apparent. I try to change the subject.
"Man, this fight is taking a while," I say, she nods, "I can't wait to see how it ends."
"Oh we can't do that," Kate says, as if she's remembered something. I tilt my head. "On the announcement board didn't you see," she asked.
I scan through my memories but I only remember the listings. I shake my head.
"Well I don't blame you, the flier was so small compared to the listings," she continues, "But it was about our final trial. It's starting at sunset."
I panic a little and look up at the sky. It isn't quite noon anymore, but it'd be a couple more hours till sunset. I let out a sigh of relief. The relief didn't last though.
Kate studies me for a moment and continues," Not only that, it's a group survival task."
She then looks over my shoulder to somewhere in the arena.
It takes me a second to realize the weight of what she said.
"Wait…b-but I just," I sputter.
"Knocked out our only other teammate," she finishes.
'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!' I think my mind spinning.
I'd assumed the final exam would be held tomorrow. Not only that, I didn't even consider it might be team-based. 'It's happening again. I think everything is going great and it—No!' I interrupt the thought shaking my head. Desperately trying to keep an old memory from resurfacing. I take a deep breath and try to calm down. 'It's fine. It's not over yet. Marshal might wake up on time. But what if he—' I feel Kate's hand on my shoulder, interrupting my thoughts. I didn't even notice her move.
"You're tired, so don't worry so much," she says, steering me toward the aisle hall, "Marshal will be up before long, our school does have one of the best for a healer."
"And besides you should rest to keep up your strength before the trial starts," she says, giving me a reassuring smile as she continues to lead me down the hall.
I return her smile with my own. I think I smiled too hard but she didn't seem to notice. My heart is full, though my body is protesting. Kate's pulling my arm a little too hard, but I'm not going to let her hear a word of that. She finds a fairly secluded part of the outer arena halls, as dorms are out of the question because of how far we are from them.
Kate sits down in the corner and pats her lap. My weary body makes the decision before I do—bending down and laying down on her lap. I feel like I'm going to die of shame. My body doesn't seem to mind though. My eyes are closed now, but I didn't need them open to know my ears are burning bright red or to know Kate is definitely staring at me.
My mind is spinning. 'Is this okay?? Why did I lay down? Man, this is comfy— Am I blushing? Oh god, can she see?? I want to die.'
This isn't my first lap pillow of course. I've woken up numerous times on my mom's lap after she went too far with training. But this situation is totally different!
I want to sigh but I didn't dare. I'm painfully aware of her eyes on me. 'I need to just calm down, and sleep—right now. If I don't she might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.'
I squeeze my eyes a little tighter, relax and let myself drift off.