Each moment lingered on and on, as my thumb hovered over the call button for what felt like hours.
Come on, Oliver; you talk to him everyday! This shouldn't be that hard!
Talking to your best friend is one thing, but telling him that you have feelings for him is an entirely different ball game. This is especially the case when you have been friends with him since the first grade. Whiskey, well, I just call him Tex because of his southern drawl and his all-american charm, already knows about the idea that I'm into guys. He never seemed to mind, but he never really spoke much of it. He was the kind of guy who kept a lot of opinions to himself, unless pressured into speaking his mind. But to tell him that I, well, that I'm into him, was going to be one of the most difficult things I have ever done, because of that very reason: I have no idea what he is going to think.
I breathe heavily, as I felt as though I was a young, dumb teenager all over again; the dialogue in my mind had turned to mush at this point, the anxiety and pressure almost getting the best of me. I couldn't stop thinking about his goofy smile, his perfect laughter, his strength, and before I knew it, I had pressed the call button.
And immediately hung up.
I panicked, attempting to gather up my courage once again. I stretched out onto my bed, took a couple of deep breaths, and pressed the call button once more.
"Hey, ya called?" Tex questioned, sounding as chipper as he usually sounded.
"Hey! Um, yeah, I did. My bad."
"Oh, did ya not mean to? Was it a butt-dial?" He snickered slightly.
"Yes! Well, no. Well, I mean, I need to talk to you, Tex."
"Alrighty, what's up? I can tell you're a lot more nervous and wound up then ya usually are."
"Yeah, um, well, yeah. Ok, here it goes. Right now. I'm going to say something. Right now."
"Oh, dagnabbit! Just spit out somethin'!"
"Ok, ok! So, Tex, you know how I'm gay, yes?"
"Mhm."
"And gay people, well, like men."
"Jeez, Oliver, I know I ain't the brightest bulb in the crayon box, but come on now," Tex laughed, then groaned, as I heard the shuffling of his bed sheets over the telephone.
"You realize that's not how that saying goes, correct?"
"What sayin'?"
"The brightest bu- you know what, I'm not going to explain this all over again," I rolled my eyes, allowing myself to have a small smile planted onto my face. "Tex, I like you."
The words flew out of my mouth as if I didn't know what I was saying. I immediately covered my own mouth, shocked that I had said those four words. After all that anxiety, after all that stress, how was I able to let my guard down so easily?
I waited there in dread, in anticipation. There was silence on the other end. I broke the silence.
"Listen, you aren't like that, I understand. I just felt that you needed to know. I've known you for so long, and I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. Just know that I have nothing but love and respect for you and everything you do. You have brought me so much happiness, and so many good memories, I honestly don't think I deserved all that you have done for me. So I just wanted to sa-"
"Oh, you like me in the gay way?" Tex asked in the most adorable, stupid way possible. I couldn't help but to facepalm, roll my eyes, give the biggest sigh in the world, all of the above.
"Yes, Whiskey. In the gay way."
Another long pause ensued. I felt a weird feeling in my stomach, almost as if I was about to vomit. It was one of the longest, nerve-wracking experiences I had ever gone through. I wasn't afraid of rejection; that was a given. I was only worried that I would lose my best friend. I was worried that me being gay would make me lose yet another important relationship in my life. I didn't want to lose anyone, especially Whiskey, but I couldn't help but to tell Tex how I felt, even if it meant that he wouldn't see me in the same way ever again.
And boy, the response that I got was one that I never would have pictured in a million years.
"Oli, I feel the same exact way."
I laughed. I laughed for probably three minutes straight; Tex, being the goofball that he is, surely was just playing a trick on me, like he usually does.
"I'm serious, Oliver." All of a sudden, I heard an entirely different voice erupt from him. He actually sounded serious, for once in his life. He cleared his throat, and he started giggling like a child. "Man, I've wanted to tell ya for so long, so like, it feels good to tell you that."
"Oh my god, you're serious." I stated, my face feeling as if it was on fire from how badly I was blushing. "I, um, I really cannot believe this. Wait, I thought you were straight!"
"Well, not really."
"Not really? Tex, why didn't you tell me that you were gay?" I blurted out, both enthusiastic and frustrated at the same time, since I couldn't fathom why he wouldn't tell me such an important thing like that. "Why?"
"You didn't ask. It never came up," he chuckled, as I heard a potential gulp come from him. Was it from... nervousness?
"Dude, you could have told me you were gay when I came out to you! Why didn't you tell me then?" I interrogated.
"Well," he paused, thought for a moment, then continued. "I didn't want to ruin your moment."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, for a lot of people, coming out is a big occasion, and it shouldn't be overshadowed by somethin' else. I felt like, in a weird way, if I came out then, it would be taking away from your moment, I guess. So I wanted to wait 'til the perfect moment came along."
"Wow." I sat there in awe. While Tex can lack some forms of common sense at times, he, in that moment, showed me that he was one of the most mature people that I knew. "Tex, that is so... so sweet. Just know that, well, it wouldn't have taken away from my coming out experience. It probably would have made it cooler! Two best friends finding out that the other one is gay?"
"Oh, I really didn't think of it that way. I'm sorry," Tex sighed.
"Oh, no no no! It's quite alright, really! I, um... so. Yeah." I paused, wondering if Whiskey wanted to add anything, but the moment never came. While he typically was a loud, outspoken individual, he was speechless.
"Are you... nervous?" I chuckled, teasing him like he always would tease me.
"I uh... We ain't gonna talk about me. Um, we should talk about us!" He cheered. "But I want to do this in person. Meet at the swing-set?"
"Tex, the swing-set? We haven't been to that dumb old thing in, like, seven years."
"I know. But just trust me, this is gonna be great! Meet me there at midnight." He hung up the phone, and instantly I squealed.
I danced around me room, chanting "He's into me!" for a solid ten minutes, my heart pounding out of my chest. Realizing that it was already 10pm, I began to get ready.
With a grin glued onto my face, I hopped into my shower, combed my hair to perfection, put eight different kinds of cologne on, put on my favorite flannel and sneakers, and nearly burst through the front door.
*****
Hello! This is Mackenzi. I truly appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this first chapter. I do not want to sound overly-boastful, but I know this is going to be an amazing journey for me, and hopefully for you. If you like what you see, if you'd like, show your support by favoriting this chapter. If you have any form of constructive criticism, please comment and leave some feedback. I would love to know what you personally like and don't like.
I would appreciate it more than you'd ever know, if you were to continue reading this. I am going to post a new chapter once a week.
Thank you so much for your time!