Chereads / Backstabber (Past Shadows, Book One) / Chapter 12 - Chapter 11: Falling Inside the Black

Chapter 12 - Chapter 11: Falling Inside the Black

"You know, ignoring him's a pretty crappy thing to do."

Autumn glared down at Lena; the other girl shrugged and flipped a page in her calculus book. They'd been planning the study sleepover all week, but Lena was starting to wish she hadn't come.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Autumn shoved the book aside. Heather caught it as it slipped off the mattress and set it on the nightstand.

"You haven't looked at Jason in almost a month," Autumn sat on the edge of the bed. "And I want to know why."

Lena sat up and crossed her legs, taking out her scrunchie to smooth down her ponytail.

"He's just been a jerk," she twisted it back around her hair. They gaped at her.

"How can you say that?" Heather asked. "He saved your life!"

Lena fingered her bracelet, a delicate gold chain with a beautifully engraved name plate, one of the few pieces of her mother's jewelry she had now that her jewelry box was gone. She was sure Kara had found it while she was hospitalized and sold it all to help fund her drinking habit. Those bottles of wine hadn't been cheap.

"It's just," she swallowed hard. "When I think about him now, I feel guilty."

Autumn laid across the foot of the bed, her purple pajama top riding up slightly.

"Because you made out with Chad?" she and Heather questioned at once. Lena blanched.

"How'd you find out about that?" she stammered.

"Please," Autumn turned and reached over the white footboard, grabbed a short-eared stuffed rabbit from the decorative trunk in front of her bed and held it on her stomach. "He's liked you since day one. Did you really think he'd be able to keep something like that to himself?"

Lena smiled weakly when Autumn's new kitten clawed his way up the comforter, then jumped in her lap and curled into a tiny, fluffy white ball.

"I guess you're right," she picked at a loose thread on the pink and white striped comforter. "But I can't stop thinking about what happened to me…"

"That wasn't your fault," Autumn admonished. The buttercup-yellow toy tumbled to the floor as she abruptly sat up. "You didn't ask for any of that to happen to you!"

Lena winced, trying to take comfort in the kitten's soft fur and quiet purring; she could feel Autumn's eyes burning into her, biting her lip when she felt tears sting her own.

"Chad said the same thing," she sighed. "I don't know why I can't get that through my thick head."

"We don't, either," Heather set the bunny back on the trunk. The kitten squirmed out of Lena's lap and scampered across the bed to settle on a pillow. A pale pink heart. Lena shivered, rubbing her arms.

"I don't know what to do…"

Autumn shook her head.

"The first thing is to tell Jason why you've been avoiding him," her face softened. "He cares about you, Lena, just like we do."

Lena bit her lip.

"How could he once he finds out? H-He'll probably—"

"Kick Eric's ass again," Heather grinned slightly. "And this time, we'll record it for you."

Lena blinked.

"Wait, he did what?"

"Lance told Jason what happened," she clarified. "How he got Stephanie to admit she and Eric were involved in the whole thing."

Lena toyed with her bracelet again, tracing the letters of her mother's name with her finger nail, then barely looked up.

"You really think I should tell him?"

"Yes," Autumn said firmly, as Heather nodded in agreement. "He'll be in the music room during lunch on Monday; it's always empty, so you can do it then."

"O-Okay," Lena gulped, still feeling unsure. Was this really the best way? "Guess I will."

<<<>>>

Jason had lost track of how many times he'd checked his phone. Ty had texted him before school, saying to meet him in the music room during lunch. It was almost time for sixth period.

Least this wasn't a complete waste of time. He tightened a string on his guitar; it had sounded off for days. What's going on with this thing?

He was surprised to see Lena when the door finally opened; she ducked back slightly, then came in, still unusually hesitant.

"Hey, Lena," he strummed another chord. "Everything okay?"

"Oh, hey, Jason," she stopped a few feet away from him. "H-How's it going?"

"Uh, fine," he looked at her in confusion. What was she so nervous about? "What's up with you?"

"Oh, nothing," she pushed back some of her hair. She was biting her lip, her eyes flicking anywhere but him. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"Ty wanted me to meet him," he glanced at the phone in his shirt pocket. "But I don't think he's coming."

She kept fidgeting, then her shoulders slumped, her restless hands falling to her sides. She sighed heavily.

"That's because Ty didn't text you," she admitted. "Autumn used his phone because she and Heather wanted me to talk to you."

He blinked in surprise.

"About what?"

She clinched her eyes shut, her next words coming so fast he could barely understand her.

"Jason, I was pregnant!"

The string he'd been tightening snapped, whipping his hand.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he gaped at her, ignoring the sting. She gulped, shying further away from him.

"I-It was after midnight," she almost whispered it. "I woke up when Autumn texted me, saying she was on the porch and needed my help, but when I opened the door, it wasn't her."

Lena grunted weakly, barely aware of the hard, bulky shoulder digging into her stomach; she felt so heavy, she could hardly keep her eyes open.

"We're going to have a lot of fun," the echoing, distant vibration of a laugh. "And the best part is that we can be as loud as we want."

She bounced against her captor's back, the muffled creak of wood resounding in her ears as she hit something soft; she saw the vaguest outline of a flickering light overhead before everything went black.

"I don't know where we went, but I was drugged on the way there," she shivered. "The next thing I really remember is climbing out of that pit, and I don't know how long I'd been wandering around when you found me."

Jason set down his guitar and went to her side, hating how she flinched when he touched her hand.

"It sounds like you still haven't told me everything," he didn't know why he cared about that. "What else happened?"

He froze when she pressed herself to his side, crying into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Jason," she said brokenly. "I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, hey," he hugged her gently, trying to keep the fear and anger from his voice. She shouldn't have to deal with this! "You don't have anything to be sorry about—"

"Yes, I do!" her head shot up. "I was going to have that baby, Jason! How can you not be pissed at me?"

He brushed her bangs aside.

"It was your choice, Lena," he frowned. "But you keep saying 'was'. What happened?"

Her eyes widened, her next words barely audible.

"I…I lost…"

Someone grabbed her from behind, her blood going cold when she recognized the grip. She turned to see Eric Stalker looming over her, his pale blue eyes clouded, his jaw tight. Her heart pounded fearfully as he bent closer, his lips nearly touching her ear.

"I won't make you go through with it," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm so sorry."

He shoved her toward the stairs, and she lost her balance, tumbling and crashing into the wall. Several girls in the hall started laughing, two of them pushing her down the other flight as she struggled to get to her feet. She slammed against the floor, a deep, cramping pain flaring through her as her eyes burned from keeping back tears. Someone gasped, pointing to the blood pooling across the front of her skirt.

"Oh, my God, look!"

Lena stared at the floor, her pale fingers tightening on his shirt. He ran a hand through her hair, frizzy and uncombed; his fingers trailed to her damp cheek, and he tilted her chin back.

"I know it doesn't mean anything now," he said softly. "But I would have done whatever it took to stop all this, if I'd realized it would happen sooner."

He brushed a fresh tear from her eye, that familiar surge of panic rising when she put a trembling hand over his. He forced it down, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"Don't be afraid to talk to me," he went on. "And I promise, from now on, I'll always be there for you."

She sniffled, then managed a faint smile.

"I'm sorry I kept all this from you," she pulled a glossy black watch from her pocket and clasped it around his wrist, holding his hand in both of hers. "Thanks for saving me, and for putting up with me."

He chuckled, draping his arms back around her.

"That's what I'm here for."

<<<>>>

What the hell's wrong with me?

Jason slowed to a stop when the light changed, the smooth purr of the engine muted by the thoughts whirling through his mind. He'd stayed late after his shift at Uncle Valerio's restaurant, enduring the man's weekly speech about how he worked too hard for a kid, the words laced with the wish his own sons had half Jason's work ethic.

He groaned, remembering Tino and Ricci's latest prank, how it had taken days to get all the dough cleaned up. He'd always ask why Valerio let them get away with so much, knowing that he always got the same answer.

"Nothing's more important than family, Jason; in the end, they're all you have."

Pfft, yeah, right, Jason sped off when the light turned green. It was almost pitch black tonight, the only illumination streaking down the empty street ahead from his headlights. Family, my ass.

Most of them had no idea what he'd been through, the memories he still fought to bury. But they kept clawing their way back to the surface, turning into twisted nightmares; some nights saw him digging his father's old .32 from the gun safe in the attic, shaking and crying in terror as he pressed that cold muzzle to his skull. He could never touch the trigger, though, forced every time to remember the promise he'd made two days before his parents' deaths.

That no matter how bad things got in the future, he would never give up.

They all broke their promises, he reminded himself. But I'm too scared to break the only one I made.

He shook his head, trying to think of the good things in his life, the people who would miss him, but only one face truly helped to lessen that pain. Deep, sparkling green eyes, a bright, sweet smile that took his breath away.

It was amazing how quickly he'd fallen for her, he thought, that just the sound of her name, or of her voice calling his, made his heart race. He also knew she could do so much better, that he was one of the last guys who deserved her. Not that he would ever be brave enough to tell her that.

<<<>>>

Jason winced at the light shining in his eyes. His vision had been hazy when he'd arrived at the hospital, his body heavy, his head thumping. It felt like his jaw was made of lead, but at least he could feel the pulse monitor clamped around his finger. Chloe clicked off her penlight and slid it in the pocket of her flamingo-patterned scrubs.

"You were in a car wreck," she answered his unspoken question. "You came in with a moderate concussion and several hairline fractures to your left forearm, but other than that, all you're looking at are some nasty cuts and bruises."

He shifted his arm, seeing her name scrawled in silver across the knuckles of his dark blue cast; he could feel the row of stitches on his forehead, the bandage that tugged at his skin.

He gasped, jerking the wheel to the right. The black van surging toward him had broken headlights, the momentum when it hit sending him off the road. Runoff spilled down the steep embankment, the brakes useless as he slammed sidelong into a young tree. The narrow trunk snapped, branches tearing through the black canvas top of the convertible. He could feel the blood trickle down his face, matting his hair, his arm crushed between his side and the dented door. He could still hear the echo of the van's engine as it sped away.

"You started puking pretty severely last night," Chloe went on. "So we gave you something for the nausea with your painkillers. They should wear off soon."

He looked at the cast again, remembering how he'd been forced to overhear his father ask about amputation, thinking his leg had been too damaged to save. Now he had a calf and thigh full of metal and another ugly scar to hide.

"Jason?"

He blinked, trying to sit up as Chloe turned off the pulse monitor and removed his cuff. He had to look away when she took out his IV.

"Who knows I'm here?"

"Chelsea actually found your car after the crash," she bandaged the spot. "She brought back a change of clothes for you."

She nodded to the backpack sitting on the stool by his bed, the largest pocket partially unzipped.

"I have to check on some other patients, then we can get you discharged."

He nodded absently as she left, then grabbed the bag and dug through it. The crash had dredged up memories of a soaking summer storm, when the Chief of Police himself had knocked on his grandparents' door in the middle of the night. Six years had passed since then, and he'd lost track of the sleep he had missed, thinking about the accident, and the promise he couldn't believe he'd been able to keep.

I can't take much more of this. He tugged on a pair of black sweats, then untied his hospital gown, hoping the wave of dizziness was just from the fading meds. It was awkward trying to pull his shirt on, but he managed it, then jammed his feet into his sandals. Wish someone would tell me what this is…

He slung the bag over his shoulder, turning in surprise when he heard a small yawn.

"Jason?" a little girl with black hair stood in the doorway in an oversized gray T-shirt, sleepily rubbing her mismatched baby blue and honey brown eyes. Chad's half-sister, recovering from her second kidney transplant. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Lilly," he knelt in front of her. "Why aren't you with the other kids?"

She yawned again, her dark green teddy bear slipping from her hand.

"I couldn't sleep."

He chuckled as she reached down to grab it, then picked her up with his good arm.

"You look pretty tired to me," he answered. "Does anyone know you're out here?"

She slumped against his shoulder, clutching her bear tightly as she lost the fight to keep her eyes open. He couldn't blame her for wanting to wander around, he'd done it himself whenever he'd been stuck there as a kid. What worried him was how weak she still was, even if she didn't seem to notice.

She was sound asleep when they reached the children's ward, to the relief of the nurses assigned there for the night. He watched as one of them tucked Lilly into bed, wondering if he'd ever get to do the same with his own kids.

Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

He sighed and headed for the main lobby, and spotted Chelsea chatting up some orderlies. She smiled and waved at him, excusing herself from the conversation before hurrying over to him.

"I've been waiting all night," she said worriedly. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Like shit," he shrugged. "But I've been through worse."

"Don't I know it," she stood on her toes and gently traced the cut on his forehead. He still flinched. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

<<<>>>

The nights were getting warmer, the last of the slush and snow melting away as leaves sprouted on the trees. A quarter moon hung high in the sky, an unblinking eye that watched his every move.

What was I thinking?

He shook his head; it had gotten so easy to act like nothing was wrong, and he wondered just how many lies he'd told with a straight face. His mind was always racing under the mask, focused on everything that could go wrong. And now there was yet another concern, a detail he typically wouldn't have thought twice about.

Eight months had passed since he'd gotten the assignment, and he still couldn't bring himself to neutralize the target. Death had never fazed him before, but the thought of hers made his soul twist.

How could he have let himself get so attached to her? She didn't know anything about him, only the image he projected to the outside world. But she seemed to truly care for him, a concept he had long forgotten how to grasp.

I can't tell her the truth, he thought, his heart constricting. She'll kill me!

"You're a bit late."

He stopped short in the doorway of the injection hut. A tall figure leaned casually against the back wall, buffed black leather clinging to every inch of a strong, wiry frame. They stood over a half-covered tray, staring at him with cold, unforgiving green eyes. Light brown hair tumbled limply around a pale, attractive face.

"Who are you?" he asked flatly. They straightened.

"The name's Dusk," they answered simply. His jaw tightened.

"Where's Anya?"

They shrugged, then cupped that first syringe in a gloved hand. A strip of ghost-pale skin flashed at their wrist.

"I'm afraid she's been…unexpectedly called away," they motioned to the stool beside them. "I'm just filling in for her, so why don't we get started?"

He rolled his eyes, but pulled off his shirt and took a seat. Dusk walked behind him, and he shuddered as they slowly traced one of the old scars on his back. They pushed the needle in just below it, chuckling at the soft groan that slipped from his throat.

"It might not hurt much now," they stepped in front of him, making a show of licking the needle before they pricked their tongue with it. "But trust me, it will soon."

They walked back around, his eyes watering, burning as they administered the second shot; they rubbed his twitching shoulders in a gesture of mock concern. Leaning down, they bit the rim of his ear, their breath hot, their voice a chilling hiss.

"Suffering now?"

He tensed when they gave the next one, acid filling his throat as a searing heat pounded through his veins. A wet, hacking cough rattled his chest. It was impossible to breathe. The stool toppled, every nerve screaming as he hit the floor, hot bile flooding his mouth. His vision blurred; he was barely aware of his head being forced back by his hair, Dusk's face twisted in dark pleasure.

"Hurts now, don't it, tough guy?" their grin widened. "But don't worry. Soon, you won't feel a thing."

There was a high-pitched echo, another wave of stabbing pain, one last scream before he went limp.

<<<>>>

Jason groaned in sleepy annoyance, almost knocking the alarm clock to the floor as he groped blindly for the snooze button. It took a few seconds to kick off the sheets, twisted and sweat-spattered as always; he was amazed he got any sleep at all. His phone chirped on the nightstand, the screen displaying an unknown number. He wasn't sure what made him answer.

"You done good for yourself, small fry."

He went stiff. That name again.

"Who is this?" he demanded. The person laughed.

"You know who I am."

Jason's pulse quickened.

"W-What do you want?"

"Just wanted to congratulate you," they mocked. "Also surprised you've managed to live this long, but we both know it won't last forever."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he swallowed his fear. "What do you want?"

"Just felt like warning you, small fry," the joking tone ceased. "Enjoy the calm while you can get it."

The line clicked. The phone slipped from his nerveless hand. That hadn't just happened, it wasn't possible. He shook his head, shoving it to the back of his mind. There was too much happening now to worry about the future, or the past. He repeated that to himself as he got ready, glancing outside whenever he could. He didn't know what he was looking for—a masked killer primed to burst from the shadows? The gleam of a scope through the trees as they gunned him down from a distance?

Dumbass, he snapped at himself. Quit being paranoid. That guy was a loon, nothing's coming after you.

The feeling of being watched still followed him outside, unease creeping over him like vines as he unlocked his freshly repaired car. His heart skipping a beat when he saw the note folded over the steering wheel, his name slapped across in a neat, unfamiliar scrawl.

'You have until tonight, then we take matters into our own hands.'

A jolt of fear coursed through him. He crushed the page in his fist and threw it on the floor. He keyed the ignition and took off down the street, wondering why they had chosen now to come back for him.

This can't be happening!

<<<>>>

Lena watched Kara's car turn sharply out of the driveway, then sighed in relief when it disappeared up the street. The woman had been in a rage since she'd come home yesterday afternoon, which could only mean her latest boy toy had ended things. Lena was amazed she'd been able to sneak to her room unnoticed—at least she had avoided one pointless beating.

She climbed off her bed and grabbed the bag she'd left by the door; she'd found a dojo in town and couldn't wait to start karate again. She peeled the sticky note with the address off her mirror, folded it and slipped it in her pocket, then detoured through the kitchen for a water bottle and some oranges, fresh from the trees in Heather's backyard. She made it to the porch steps before remembering to lock the door, feeling the weight of the phone Lance had gotten her at the back of her jeans. It was a basic model with a pay-as-you-go plan, but it was free of the trackers that infested her old one, now a decoy to make Kara believe she'd gone back to fearfully following an insane list of rules.

How long her new secret freedom would last, however, was anyone's guess.

She shivered, stuffed her copied key in her bag and sprinted into the late morning sunshine. She was surprised to see Jason a few houses down, lowering the top of a dark green convertible.

"Oh, hey," he smiled when she jogged up. "Going somewhere?"

"I signed up for karate again," she pulled out the sticky note. "You know where the Shima Sports Club is?"

He swept a twig off the hood.

"Yeah, I take kickboxing there," he said. "Want a lift?"

She blushed, but then her smile faded.

"Wait a second, shouldn't you still have your cast?"

He looked at his arm, wiggled his fingers.

"Got it taken off yesterday," he was confused as she was. "Doc said it was already healed."

She blinked, then shook her head.

"It's barely been three weeks!"

"I know, we couldn't believe it either," he shrugged. "But not like it's the weirdest thing that's ever happened."

He glanced at his watch, the same one she'd given him, then back at her.

"You can finish staring at me later," he laughed, going around to the driver's side. "You know I hate being late."

She giggled awkwardly, then climbed in and buckled up.

"How long have you had this car?"

"Bought it off a senior last year," he adjusted the rearview mirror. "Took months just to get it running again. The pretty stuff was the easy part."

"You did a great job," she ran a hand over the dash, done up in a dark, faux-wood finish. He snorted a laugh.

"You should have seen it before," he pulled into the street. "I couldn't believe it was still in one piece, we almost had to tow it to the garage."

They rode in silence for a while; she could feel his gaze as he stopped at a red light.

"You're not telling me something."

She hated that he could read her so easily. She quit messing with her fingers and tucked her hands beneath her, then swallowed hard.

"I-I'm still having dreams about what happened."

He stepped on the gas when the light changed.

"You went through a lot," he kept his eyes on the road. "It's going to take more than a few weeks to deal with it all."

She didn't answer, watching him through her lashes. Some hair had come loose from his ponytail and was blowing in the wind; he reached up sporadically to push it out of his face. That serious gleam was always in his eyes, she noticed, telling her his mind never stopped working; she wondered what he was thinking about.

"We're here."

She jumped a bit, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she climbed out of the car. The long, low building was rough brown brick with white stucco trim, the full windows along the front tinted too darkly to see inside.

"I was planning on walking. My class doesn't start for an hour," she smiled at him, hoping her blush wasn't too obvious. "Mind if I just watch you?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah, that's," he trailed off, his expression going cold when he saw the reflection behind them in the door. "Oh, great."

A tall guy strolled up, the lazy smile on his face turning cocky when his dark eyes locked on her.

"Haven't seen you around before," he ran a hand over his spiked hair, bleached white with sandy, reddish-blond showing at the roots. "What's happening, sweetheart?"

She scowled.

"The name's Lena," she reached for Jason's free hand, but he put his arm around her shoulders. "Who're you?"

"Name's Cody," he crossed his arms, corded with muscle like Jason's. "I'm the champ around here."

She cocked a brow.

"And that's supposed to mean something to me?"

Jason snickered, and Cody glared at him.

"Just wondering what you're doing with a chump like him," he flashed another smile, Jason tensing beside her. "Anyway, you know where to find me if you ever want a real man."

He sauntered past them and headed inside. Lena rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, what a creep," she laid her head on Jason's chest. "Is he always that annoying?"

"Trust me, he gets worse," he sighed. "Guy's a lazy cheater; he threw chalk in my face at our last competition, then kicked me out of the ring. Ref said he didn't see anything. He only gets away with it all because his mom owns the club, and she was apparently a huge deal back in the nineties."

"Of course," she glanced at the door, then giggled impishly. "But on the bright side, now I can distract him while you whoop his ass."

He laughed again, then kissed the top of her head.

"As long as I don't end up falling for it, too."

<<<>>>

Cody leaned against the wall, picking a stray thread from the waistband of his loose black pants. His sculpted torso was almost too white to look at.

"So you're really Jason's girl?"

Lena barely glanced at him, seated on one of the cushions scattered along the front edge of the room, probably for parents when the younger classes happened.

"Even if I weren't, I think we both know I'm way out of your league," she answered flatly. He chuckled.

"You wouldn't be the first girl to change her mind," he squatted down and took her wrist, dropping a folded piece of paper into her hand.

"Just so you know who to call when you get tired of him, baby," he straightened and walked away, knocking Jason aside as he did so. Jason just rolled his eyes, dropped his bag by Lena's and knelt next to her. He wore a snug white tank top and gray sweatpants, the left hem splashed with a bleach stain.

"He didn't bug you too much, did he?"

She tucked the paper away to throw out later.

"Nothing I'm not used to," she said. "What made you want to take kickboxing?"

"It was my mom's idea," he rubbed a small scar on his chin. "She signed me up the first chance she got."

He let his hand fall to his side.

"I do think about quitting once in a while," he went on quietly. "But then I remember how she looked when she watched me, and I feel like I'd be letting her down of I did."

"Oh," she felt like she should have expected that answer. He tilted her head back, brushing her cheek.

"She's not the only reason I stick with it," he smirked a bit. "I just haven't found anything else I like."

She giggled, jumping at an impatient, accented shout.

"Jason, let's go!"

He cringed, calling over his shoulder. "Hai, Sensei!"

He kissed her cheek, then jogged to the last free spot at the back of the group. The sounds of the class blurred into white noise as she bit her lip, wishing she could push away the dread that was now tugging sharply at her stomach.

That won't happen again, she promised herself. I won't let it!

<<<>>>

Lena pressed her thumb to the throbbing pain between her eyes. She'd woken up late, forgetting her homework on the kitchen table in her rush to leave, and there had been three tests she'd been too distracted to study for, one of which had counted for almost a fifth of her grade. She rested her forehead against the inside of her locker door, the cool metal helping to ease the pain. It flared again when the bell rang, the piercing note tearing at her eardrums.

Just one more class, she told herself. Then you can bum a ride home and curl up in bed all weekend.

She straightened, gasping sharply when the door slammed shut. Stephanie was spitting flames, her eyes filled with broiling hatred. Lena gulped, her migraine forgotten as she jumped aside.

"What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be in jail!"

"My dad bailed me out," Stephanie spat, stomping forward. "I've got a record now, thanks to you, bitch!"

Lena took another step back.

"Then you shouldn't have kidnapped me," her voice shook. "Or let your little boy toy rape me!"

Stephanie snarled.

"You deserved it, you fucking slut," she lashed out, ripping Lena's shirt. "Just like you deserve this!"

Lena screamed, scrambling to cover her thin blue camisole and zebra print push-up bra. Why was everyone just standing around watching? Did they all really hate her that much?

"You crazy bitch! What the hell's wrong with you?"

"I'm done with you getting between me and Jason," she tore at Lena's camisole. "Now the whole school's going to see you pay for it!"

Lena barely saw the streak of steel, throwing up her hands just before the knife would have lodged in her chest. She ignored the burn across her palms as she snatched Stephanie's arm. Stephanie struggled to get her wrist free, the weapon dropping from her grip when Lena cracked the other girl's arm against her knee.

"You're fucking insane," she shoved Stephanie away. "Why do you keep doing this to me?"

She screamed again, covering her eyes against a sudden burst of mace, the sound cutting off when Stephanie jammed a knee into her stomach.

"Everyone's wanted you gone since you got here, you cunt," she grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked her forward; Lena whimpered, trying in vain to blink away the searing burn. The tears pooling in her eyes only seemed to make it worse. "And I'm making sure you never take Jason from me again!"

Lena cried out, coughing hoarsely, her heart pounding as she waited for whatever other torture Stephanie had planned for her, only to feel something warm and heavy drape over her shoulders.

"We got you, Lena," Chad said next to her; she could barely hear him over Stephanie's screeching.

"Let me go, you assholes!"

"Not happening, Carter," Ty snapped angrily, then grunted like he'd been elbowed in the gut.

"Dad wasted his time getting you out," Lance growled, more furious than she'd ever heard him. "Now I'm going to make sure you fucking rot in that cell!"

Lena went to rub her eyes, anything to ease the burning sting, only for Chad to stop her.

"Trust me, that just makes it worse," there were two loud tears, then the light scratch of rough fabric around her cut palms. He took her shoulders and started leading her. "Come on, we'll flush it out in the chem lab."

She sniffled, trying to see through her tears, breathing through her mouth to keep from inhaling pepper spray.

"Where's Jason?" she managed between hacks, her throat already sore.

"One of his off-campus classes at the university," he answered, then swallowed. "He doesn't hit girls, but I think he'll make an exception this time."

She felt him tense at a shout, then she screamed, feeling a new pain along her cheek, nearly paralyzing as the residue on her skin seeped into the gash. She dropped to her knees, openly crying as she pressed her hands to her face, her breath coming in fast, shallow gasps. The edges of her blurred vision slowly went black, the world getting drowned out by a high-pitched ringing.

The same she had heard just before her old house had burst into flames.

<<<>>>

May 2011

"…I will be."

Andy climbed off the table he'd been sitting on and set the old violin back in its case on the bench. The few other kids in the quad, who'd been quiet during his little performance, snickered when they saw the shy blush that spread over his cheeks. He glowered at them before turning back to Lena, his blue eyes sparkling when he saw the smile she knew was plastered across her face; she'd had fewer and fewer reasons to since her mom had died. He scratched the back of his head, and a few locks of his short, gelled dark hair came loose.

"Well, what'd you think?"

She squealed, then jumped up and hugged him.

"It was perfect, Andy," she gushed, kissing his cheek. "Thank you so much!"

He laughed shyly.

"Hannah helped write it," he said. "We've been working on it for weeks."

Her smile wilted a little. It was getting hard to believe anybody could care for her so much.

"Did you really mean all that?"

He nodded.

"You mean a lot to me, Lena," he took her hand. "And I finally found the best way to show you."

She giggled, then kissed him, trying to ignore the comments being shouted across the quad. She remembered their first as she pulled away, how it had just happened, like most everything in their relationship.

They'd snuck into the school pool during lunch and had started a water fight—as the loser, she'd had to kiss him. He'd used the moment to admit his long-standing crush on her, asking to be her boyfriend right then and there. It hadn't taken her long to say yes.

"So," he cleared his throat, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Are you still coming to Hannah's party tonight?"

His older sister was turning sixteen and had insisted that he invite her. Lena's joy seeped out of her like air from a pricked balloon.

"I don't think I can," she dragged a hand down her pixie cut. "M-My stepmom's—"

"Completely crazy," he finished for her. He pulled away and shook his head. "How do you deal with that?"

She shrugged, trying to find some kind of way out.

"Well, she's been drinking a lot lately, and she's pretty bad about setting the alarm when she gets like that," she toyed with her fingers, scared to even be thinking of it. "I might be able to go, maybe."

He beamed at her.

"Awesome," he packed up the violin when the bell rang, then kissed her again. "Hope we'll see you there!"

She gulped, but nodded.

"Me, too."

She watched him go, unable to believe her luck. He wasn't the cutest guy in school, but he was one of the nicest, treating almost everyone he knew like his best friend. It had been a complete surprise when he'd said that he'd liked her, even with Miranda all but beating her over the head with it, now that she thought about it. She couldn't believe it had already been four months, the first time she'd truly been happy since Kara had shown up in her family's life.

I really hope nothing happens this time, she thought fearfully, but then she shook her head. There was no way fate, or whatever it was, would take this away from her, not when she'd already lost so much.

I don't care what it takes, she decided. I'm going to this party tonight, and it's going to be the best night we've ever had!

She nodded firmly to herself, her imagination running wild as she hurried inside.

<<<>>>

Lena winced as she tried to move her bandaged hands, fresh tears dripping down her cheeks as she thought over what had happened. A square of gauze had been taped to her face, covering a knife slash and the butterfly bandages that held the edges together.

The guys had stayed with her until the last of the mace had worn off, then she'd all but shoved them out, wanting to be alone to try and process everything. Stephane had been arrested and hauled back to jail, kicking and screaming while the whole school witnessed her meltdown. Chad, Lance and Ty were the only ones who'd bothered giving the cops a statement, since Heather and Autumn were on a field trip with the rest of the French students.

The smell of Chad's cheap cologne hung in the air, his old flannel shirt, torn at the hem for her makeshift bandages, buttoned almost to the neck and still hanging off her shoulder. She'd been surprised to learn that Jason's grandmother, a retired doctor, was the school nurse, and wondered how she'd gone so long without seeing the woman on campus.

"I was wrong about you, Lena," Mrs. Vetra said, coming over with two paper cups of water. She sat down on the chair she'd left there earlier and offered one. "And about Stephanie."

Lena pulled up her knees and crossed her legs.

"It's okay," she answered, having forgiven the old woman long ago. She took a sip of lukewarm water, it helped settle her. "I don't think anyone believed she would go this far."

Mrs. Vetra sighed.

"I don't see how, it isn't the first time she's hurt somebody like this," she slowly shook her head. "Last time, she claimed to be defending Jason from a bully."

Lena blinked in surprise. She couldn't see him at the losing end of a fight.

"When was that?"

"Oh, years ago, before the accident," she sighed heavily, twisting her own cup between her pale, wrinkled hands. "His sister told him he'd be 'thrown away' if their parents found out he had been fighting, and this was after Ario and I gained custody of him."

Lena went stiff, then shivered; when had it gotten so cold?

"When was that, exactly? I mean, he told me it happened, sort of, but…"

"He was hardly six," his grandmother supplied. "By then, we'd figured out his brother and sister were the ones abusing him, but even taking him away didn't stop them."

Lena knocked back the rest of her water and set the cup next to her. Mrs. Vetra leaned forward, gripping her hand tightly.

"I should not have treated you the way I did," she went on. "I never saw Jason so happy until he met you, I'm so sorry."

Lena smiled.

"It's fine, really, I'm just glad I can help him."

Mrs. Vetra looked relieved, about to say something when the door opened, two cheerleaders Lena didn't recognize hobbling in, one leaning heavily on her friend's shoulder. The old woman collected the cups and offered one last smile before getting up, then pulled out the curtain hanging between the cots. Lena was thankful for the privacy, as she reached in her pocket for the folded note she'd found in her locker that morning, her name scrawled in handwriting she didn't recognize.

'I know I'm the last person you'd ever want to hear from, Lena, but there's something you really, really need to know. I'm the one who—' she stumbled over the word, it was different to see it in print, '—raped you, who threw you in that hole and left you for dead. You didn't deserve any of it, and I know I can't say I'm sorry enough. Forgiveness is the LAST thing I deserve, anyway.'

She stopped reading, wiping her damp eyes with her sleeve. This was the last thing she had expected.

'There's no excuse for what I did. I let Stephanie manipulate me into helping her, and you're not even the first girl I've ended up hurting because of her. But I never did a damn thing to stop her, and I let myself believe a fake relationship was more important than other peoples' lives, and I'm so, so sorry.'

Her eyes widened when she got to the end, it couldn't mean what she thought it did!

'I'm just a stupid, selfish asshole, and I know there's only one way to even try and make it up to you. Don't worry, Lena, because you'll never have to see my face again. I'm finally going to do something right. Take care of yourself, and please, don't let us ruin anything else for you. I'm so sorry. Eric.'

The small, neat cursive was a smeared, blotted mess when she finished. The note slipped from her trembling fingers and fluttered gracelessly to the cold tile floor. She brought her knees to her chest, grabbed the thin pillow behind her and buried her face in it.

It wasn't your fault, Eric; she shouted silently, knowing it was already too late. You didn't have to do that!

She kept crying, not caring if anyone heard. She'd barely glanced at the newspaper on the front porch that morning, more concerned with getting to class on time. She'd been too out of it to hear everyone talking about how Eric's parents had come home the evening before to see a makeshift sheet rope tied to the bannister, his neck mercilessly snapped by the tight noose around it.