Chereads / Backstabber (Past Shadows, Book One) / Chapter 5 - Chapter 4: My Demons

Chapter 5 - Chapter 4: My Demons

Most of the leaves had fallen by now, crunching under his boots as the wind whistled through the creaking branches overhead, blowing swollen splinters of cloud across the quarter moon. It was just before midnight, the woods alive with the hoots of owls, the chirping of frogs and his own quick breathing. He tripped on a loose stone in the forgotten narrow path, catching himself on a tree that had been scorched and split by a lightning strike. He knew he wasn't required to listen to the warnings against flashlights, but also that the higher-ups didn't do anything without a damn good reason.

No one uses these old paths, though, he told himself, ducking beneath a branch. What are they so worried about?

He wasn't sure if the old hut in the clearing ahead could still be considered a functional building. The crooked, termite-scarred walls were held together with bent and rusted nails, the weathered tin roof sagging and cracked, nearly brushing his head. He cringed at the protesting shriek of the hinges as he pushed the warped door open, coughing when the dust stirred up by his steps settled in his lungs. It didn't look any better inside, but at least it was warmer.

Anya was waiting for him with her hip cocked against a covered tray on a tall metal stand. Her long blond hair was loose, her slim legs as enticing as ever in her favorite tight black jeans. Her full breasts threatened to spill from her off-shoulder top, cinched at her small waist. She crossed her arms, flashing her typical ruby-tinged smirk. He'd known her for as long as he could remember, and she was one of few people he felt he could trust.

"You're even later than usual," she said. He shrugged and pulled off his jacket.

"Sorry, had some stuff to take care of."

She rolled her warm brown eyes, pulled the cloth off the tray and folded it, sticking it in her pocket. She picked up the first syringe, took off the clouded plastic cap and pressed lightly on the plunger. A tiny stream of thin black liquid spurted from the needle, the latest in a long line of shots she had given him.

"You know these could kill you," she told him, like always. He sat on the three-legged stool next to her and tugged up his sweater.

"You know I don't have a choice," he answered. "Besides, it's not that bad."

The look on her face told him everything, but she said it, anyway.

"I just hate seeing you like that, you know I care about you."

He sighed, turning to the only window in the place. It was small, cracked and caked with grime, but anything was better than having to see her worried expression.

"I know."

He felt her hand shaking as she disinfected the injection site, the smell of rubbing alcohol burning his nose. He shivered as she lightly traced an old scar on his lower back, then she swallowed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked. "I mean, it's not like you really need it."

He knew that, but the injections were addictive, or the feeling afterward was, at least.

"I told you, it's orders," he said, more harshly than he'd intended. "I can't back out."

She still hesitated, the tip of the needle barely scraping his skin.

"I know what you're thinking," he looked over his shoulder. "But it won't be as bad if you just get it over with."

She shook her head.

"It's not that," her voice was low. He sighed again.

"Look, I know you're scared, but this is your job," he flashed a faint smile. "And would I really be here if I didn't want this?"

She didn't answer for a while, then finally muttered, "As long as you're sure."

He tried to control the tremors as she administered the shots, knowing one slip-up would leave him paralyzed, if he was lucky. He could see his veins bulge as the mix coursed through them, the sheen of the sweat soaking his skin. He'd never get used to the burning, like he'd been buried under red-hot coals. Blood dribbled from the corners of his mouth, and he could taste the salt of tears on his lips. It felt like days before the pain and shaking faded, and he fell back against the wall, his chest heaving as he fought to breathe.

"N-Never gets easier," he managed, trying to swallow. He turned to her, hating the fear in her big amber eyes. "You okay?"

She nodded, just slightly.

"I-I don't think it was as bad as usual," she glanced at the line of capped, empty needles on the tray. "Especially considering this was a new formula."

"Again?" he fixed his sweater. "What did they change this time?"

She grabbed his jacket, thrown over an old pipe sticking out of another wall.

"You know they don't give me the specifics," she tossed it to him. "But you think they'd want me to know what I'm shooting into all of you."

"Yeah…" he knew she was lying, but he'd never press her. There was a reason for it, just like all the other secrets and codes surrounding this project, and besides, he had his own mission to focus on. The first one he doubted he'd be able to complete.

<<<>>>

It had taken two weeks for the clouds to clear up, not that the sunlight did much to help with the cold. Lena zipped her jacket the rest of the way and stuffed her hands in her pockets, trying to figure out just what Jason's game was. He'd hardly glanced at her since that day on the walking path where she'd somehow been talked into telling a stranger her whole life story.

Why would he do that? She ducked past a broken branch. Make me spill my guts like that, then go back to acting like I don't exist?

Ty and Chad, who she'd been surprised to find she could actually tolerate, had told her it was something to do with Jason's past. That he'd been forced through the wringer and had closed himself off almost completely. She wondered what could have happened to him, as she snapped a dead twig from a tree and tossed it aside. She spent every minute she could in the clearing behind her street—doing her homework, scratching out new designs in her sketchbook. If she could only build some kind of shack there, somewhere to stay when Kara was on the warpath, since the woman would never risk her high-end clothes or shoes on a trek through the woods.

It didn't hurt that Jason was there almost every day, too, always too deep in his tai chi or kickboxing to notice her stealing peeks at him from her calculated spot by the boulder. As confused as she was about him, she couldn't deny how hot he was, even when he slipped on the damp grass or a puddle.

She giggled, remembering when he'd fallen face first in a patch of mud a few weeks before, when summer had been winding down. He'd knelt on the far side of the pond, using handfuls of water to rinse the mud from his mouth, splashing his face to wash off the rest of it. He'd peeled out of his shirt, dunking it to clean the stain, and she'd gasped when he'd turned his back to her. He'd jumped, looking around before tugging the soaked shirt over his head; she hadn't moved until she'd been sure he was gone, long after the sun had set.

I never thought that's what he was hiding!

The well-toned muscles in his back had been crisscrossed with long, narrow scars, the memory enough to make her shudder. What the hell could have happened to him?

She looked around when she reached the clearing, not quite used to the silence. The pond was half-frozen, the slushy surface rippling in the wind, the last flowers clinging stubbornly to their faded petals. The only signs of life were some squirrels gathering nuts and a few birds pecking and scratching at the ground.

That's weird. She stopped by the boulder, glad most of it was in the sun. He's always here before me, where'd he—

"You know, if you wanted to spy on me, you could've at least asked."

She jumped; Jason was standing behind her, his arms crossed loosely at his chest, the same impassive look on his face. It was only the second time she'd seen him with his hair down; the deep green jacket and dark jeans he wore looked expensive, and fairly new.

"I-I'm not spying," her cheeks flared as she brushed invisible leaves from her long skirt. At least she'd been able to sneak a pair of leggings under it. "I just tripped. And did you really have to scare me like that?"

He chuckled.

"I didn't have to," he said lightly. "But you made it pretty easy."

She glared at him, turning to leave when he grabbed her shoulder.

"Okay, fine, I'm sorry I scared you," he flashed an amused smirk. "Happy?"

She pulled away.

"For now," she climbed on the boulder and crossed her legs. "And I wasn't spying."

"What would you call it, then?" he sat next to her, letting his feet dangle. "Stalking?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't call it anything. We just hang out in the same places every day and—"

"Completely ignore each other?" he finished for her. He leaned back on his hands, bringing one knee up. She huffed.

"Speak for yourself," she swept part of a twig from her sleeve. "You're the one who made me share my life story, then went right back to ignoring me."

He winced.

"You're right, that was messed up," he grinned sheepishly, showing his braces were purple instead of blue. "I'm sorry, Lena, and I actually mean it this time."

She chuckled, nudging his shoulder.

"You don't have to sound so beat up about it, I'm not that delicate."

He laughed.

"So, why do you come out here for your tai chi and kickboxing?" she asked. "Wouldn't it be easier to do it at home?"

He shrugged.

"Yeah, but I like it out here," he laid back, putting his hands behind his head. "It's quiet."

"Until you start blaring your music," she stretched out on her side, propping her chin on her fist. "Not that I have a problem with your taste."

He smiled again.

"What about you?" he turned his head toward her. "Why do you like coming out here?"

She focused on her finger as she traced a dark line in the rock. It was one thing to tell him what had happened in the past, but it felt like something completely different to let him know what she dealt with now.

"Autumn told me you and Ty were in a band together," she blurted. Anything to change the subject. "How'd you guys meet?"

He looked at her, then sat up, brushing a lock of hair from his face.

"Gym class," he straightened his jacket. "He's one of the only people who have ever kicked my ass at soccer."

She giggled.

"He was always captain of some team back in Grand Rapids," she scratched her cheek. "But I never saw him touch an instrument willingly, what's he play?"

He groaned.

"Well, it's supposed to be keyboard, but he usually just screws with the mixing when we record," he rolled his eyes. "Last time, he made us sound like chipmunks."

She laughed. Ty had always loved things that messed with his voice.

"That sounds like him," she blushed again. "I'd love to hear you guys play sometime, without the chipmunks."

He flashed a grin.

"I think I can arrange that."

<<<>>>

"So, what happened after that?"

Autumn put her elbows on the table and propped her chin in her hands. It was pouring outside, everyone crammed in the cafeteria until it tapered off. Lena sighed, wishing she hadn't brought up the talk with Jason before class. It was all the other girl had thought about since.

"He asked if I wanted to watch the meteor shower with him next weekend," she said flatly. Autumn gaped at her.

"No. Way. Jason Vetra asked you out?"

"I don't know," she bit back a groan. "Is that a big deal or something?"

"Jason's probably the most popular guy in town," Autumn made it sound like she should have known that by now. "Just about every girl wants him, some guys, too."

Lena shrugged.

"I'm sure he just wants someone to watch it with," a guy like Jason, wanting to date her? Yeah, right. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

Autumn sighed dramatically.

"You don't get it yet," she said. "He's popular, but he's pretty uneasy around girls, he doesn't talk to us unless he really likes us."

Lena eyed her suspiciously.

"How do you know all this about him?" she asked. "Ty said you'd barely looked at Jason before I showed up."

Autumn twirled her hair, a key sign she was hiding something.

"Oh, I asked around," she began innocently, cut off by a half-annoyed scoff behind her.

"Or you just asked me," a tall boy with wavy, nearly blood red hair and pale blue-gray eyes sat next to her, tugging a silver cross necklace from the collar of his dark purple T-shirt. She shot him a glare with no real heat.

"You're not the only one I talked to, Lance," she said. Lance shook his head, his thin lips still curled in that half-smile. Lena had heard about him from Ty and the others, but this was the first time she'd really seen him.

"You get obsessed with the weirdest things," he told Autumn, before digging in his checkered backpack for a Wendy's bag. She rolled her eyes, turning away as she peeled the wrapper off a granola bar. She was a strict vegetarian, since she couldn't digest most of the proteins in meat. Chad groaned in frustration at the other end of the table, tearing the latest scribble-covered page from his notebook and crumpling it up. Ty sat across from him with his earbuds in, looking over a packet of sheet music.

"That's the eighth time you've done that," Lena noted as Chad tossed the page in the trash. "What are you trying to do over there?"

"These lyrics aren't coming together," he grumbled. She moved down a seat and looked over the other page. Several lines had been copied two or three times, others crossed out or stopped in the middle.

"It'll never work if you keep trying to force it," she took the pen from him. "Why don't you try thinking about something else for a while?"

"Would if I had time," he took it back. "But the concert's next month."

She looked at him in confusion.

"What concert?"

"It's a fundraiser," Lance explained. "Local musicians and artists get together to raise money for whatever the town votes on. This time, it was a women's shelter."

Autumn scoffed.

"Because guys never get abused," she crossed her arms. "I'm so sick of no one talking about that side of it."

Lena shook her head.

"It's that whole 'men don't need protection' mindset," she said. "Most of them won't admit to being abused, especially by women, because most people won't believe them. They'd just be laughed out of the station if they tried to report it."

Ty flipped the page of the music packet and set it down.

"Hate to say it, but you're pretty much right," he put in. "It really ticks me off, too, and I heard most of those shelters won't even accept guys."

"Unless they're babies," Chad cut in. Lance looked around in the uncomfortable silence that followed, then sighed in frustration.

"Okay, where's Jason?" he checked the time on his phone, as thunder rumbled angrily overhead. The storm was finally dying down. "He said he'd show up a while ago."

"I saw him with Stephanie," Chad shut his notebook and stuck his pen in the spiral binding. "It was getting pretty heated, again."

The words caused an unexpected twinge of jealousy; Lena gripped hard on her skirt under the table, hoping the emotion didn't show on her face.

"What were they fighting about?" she hated how tight her voice sounded. He shrugged.

"Don't know, they walked away before I could catch it."

"Isn't she supposed to be dating Eric Stalker?" Autumn asked. The boys glanced at each other. Eric was captain of the baseball team and Jason's top rival for the best athlete in school. He'd apparently been hung up on Stephanie since sixth grade, and would do whatever she asked him to.

"I was starting to think they broke up," Ty rubbed the back of his neck. "I haven't seen them together in weeks."

Chad snorted a laugh.

"I don't know how anyone could date her," he pretended to gag. "That bitch is insane!"

Lance glared at him.

"Yeah? Well, try living with her," he complained. "You wouldn't last a day."

Chad laughed again.

"Yeah, man," he shook his head. "I don't know how you've survived this long!"

"Wait, she's your sister?" Lena turned to Lance. He groaned.

"As much as I hate to admit it."

Another stretch of silence followed, then Autumn jumped to her feet.

"And I think we've sat here long enough," she smiled at them. "Who wants to try that new all-organic place in town?"

"Can't," Chad answered quickly, grabbing his backpack. He shoved his notebook in and threw a strap over his shoulder. "I've got a dentist appointment."

"Practice," Ty and Lance echoed, packing their own things. A hurricane wouldn't be enough to get soccer cancelled. Lena tried to follow as they ran off, remembering what had happened last time they'd tried a place Autumn had suggested; she'd never seen people puke so much. Autumn grabbed her sleeve, gazing at her with puppy eyes. Lena swallowed.

"Uh, Kara heard about that last murder on the news," she said quickly. It had been a month since the killings had started, and the police still had almost nothing to work with. "She moved my curfew up."

"Oh, please," Autumn let her go. "You said yourself that Kara's been out of town the last couple weeks, she probably doesn't even know about them!"

She stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"Besides, why would someone killing old men suddenly go after two girls?"

Lena looked at her, hoping a new excuse would pop into her head.

"Ugh, fine," she huffed, getting to her feet. "But if I end up dead, I get to haunt you."

Autumn laughed.

"Deal!"

<<<>>>

Autumn finished the last bite of her spring salad and dabbed at her lips with a napkin. Lena was still staring at her cup of green tea, like she had been since they'd gotten their order and sat down at their table. She reached over, nudging the mug back until it touched the younger girl's hand.

"You really like spacing out, don't you?"

Lena blinked, then looked up, her face flushed in embarrassment.

"Huh? What?"

Autumn smiled indulgently.

"I'm pretty sure I know what you were thinking about," she leaned forward and lowered her voice. "So, have you told him yet?"

Lena cocked her head.

"Told who what?"

Autumn rolled her eyes, still smiling.

"Have you told Jason you like him yet?"

Lena went stiff.

"Well, no, but—" she shook her head, then glared at her. "It's not like that, okay? We're just friends!"

Autumn pushed her bowl aside and leaned further over the table.

"Most girls can't be 'just friends' with a guy that hot," she whispered, giggling. "Even I liked him for a while, before I realized how weird he is."

Lena groaned.

"Okay, yeah, he's hot," she conceded flatly, figuring there really was no point in denying it. "But I've known him for, what, three weeks? It's way too early to see him like that."

Autumn giggled again.

"Jason doesn't think so, he watches every meteor shower he can," she added. "And last time he asked a girl to watch one with him, they ended up dating."

"So? Once isn't a pattern," Lena returned shortly. "Why do you want me to like him so badly, anyway? You're the one who said I shouldn't trust him!"

Autumn sat back.

"It's not just me, the guys have all said he never stops talking about you. And Ty was right," she went on. "I haven't talked to Jason in years, he's nothing like I thought he'd turned into. He's still weird, though."

Lena rolled her eyes.

"Where'd you hear all that crap about him, anyway?"

Autumn sighed.

"Let me spell it out," she ticked them off on her fingers. "He's shy, sexy, crazy smart and his family's one of the richest on the coast, of course there are all kinds of rumors about him."

Lena groaned again, then her expression changed, and she leaned to the side.

"What's going on there?"

Autumn looked over her shoulder, then snickered, seeing a short, slender blond with long pigtails leaning against the counter like she was trying to flirt with the cashier. Going by the grouchy old man's frown, it wasn't working.

"Come on, you know you still owe me for that little favor I did," she said wispily. The man rolled his eyes.

"And you still owe me for the last time you were here," he returned irritably. "Now, either pay up or get out!"

She huffed, then stepped back, fixing her bunched top as she turned away from him. Her hazel eyes glinted when she saw them, her whitened teeth flashing in a smile.

"Should've known you'd show up here eventually," she practically skipped to their table. "How's it going, Autumn?"

Autumn laughed.

"Better than it seems to be for you," she said. "You know that guy won't budge."

"Ugh, tell me about it," she glanced over Autumn's long yellow skirt and olive green knit cowl neck sweater, then pouted. "Oh, don't tell me I missed vintage shopping again!"

Autumn shook her head.

"My aunt sent me two big boxes of her old stuff, you can come over later and see what fits," she turned back to Lena. "Oh, this is Chad's cousin, Heather, head cheerleader and the only girl in town more peppy than me."

"No matter how long it took you to admit that," Heather giggled, then her face soured. "And I've heard Stephanie's been giving you a lot of crap since you started at school, Lena, I don't know how she hasn't been expelled already."

She grabbed a chair from an empty table and sat down with them.

"It hasn't gotten too bad yet, has it?"

Lena sighed.

"I've had to deal with people like her before, I almost forget she exists sometimes," she rested her chin in her hands. "What's her problem, anyway?"

Heather shrugged.

"No one really knows, she just started acting crazy. We all thought she was dealing with stuff," she added. "But it's just kept getting worse, so we're not sure what to think anymore."

She bit her lip.

"I actually overheard her talking about some kind of dirt she had on you, and that she was going to make sure the whole school knew before Friday."

Lena took a long sip of her lukewarm tea.

"She's just trying to scare me," she wiped her mouth. "She's just mad I won't 'stay in my place,' or whatever she wants me to do."

Autumn and Heather shared a glance.

"You sure that's all it is?" Autumn asked. "Because when she says she has dirt on someone, she means it. It's the only thing anyone still takes seriously about her."

Heather shuddered, but didn't say anything. Lena scoffed.

"She can dig up whatever she wants on me," she said confidently. "I'm not letting her get to me."

Autumn smiled nervously.

"Well, as long as you're sure," she pushed back from the table and got to her feet. "You done with your tea? I'll go toss this stuff, then we can go to my house and look through those boxes."

She didn't miss the fear that flashed through Lena's eyes, as hard as she was clearly trying to hide it.

"Yeah," she said distractedly. "Kara's not coming back for a while, and I learned a long time ago how to make her think I still follow her damn rules, so I can do whatever I want until then."

Autumn was unsure, but grabbed their dishes and set them in the tray by the counter. Lena had barely said anything about her life outside of school, and nothing about where she'd lived before. She also couldn't stop thinking about the other incidents Stephanie had already caused, and worried what might be next.

I don't think I could put anything past her at this point, she thought, straightening her sweater before catching up with the others. I don't even want to know how far she'll go this time.

<<<>>>

Lena couldn't believe what she was seeing. Taped to the purple metal door of her locker, and every other one in the hallway, was a Photoshopped mugshot of her, 'I'm a slut and proud of it' glittering underneath in neat gray cursive. The gang had agreed to meet at school early to get some studying done, and a group of boys from every team had cornered her in the front lot, asking if she'd like to take turns blowing them in the locker room. A few girls had hassled her at the doors, saying they knew she'd been screwing their boyfriends, and that she better not have herpes or something.

At least now, she understood why.

"You've got to be kidding me," she ripped the page off. Ty stopped beside her, staring at it with his jaw slack.

"Wow," he went to his locker, two up from hers, tore the copy down and threw it in the trash. "What the hell is wrong with her?"

Lena groaned in mortification, slumping against hers with her face in her hands.

"These are all over the school by now," she muttered, raking her fingers through her hair. "What am I going to do?"

"You can't let it get to you," he came back and gripped her shoulder. "That's what she wants."

"That doesn't help me get rid of these things," she crushed it in her fist. "Why does she keep doing this to me?"

"She's crazy, we all know that," he glanced at the wad of paper. "We could probably get her for harassment for this."

She shook her head, grinding the heel of her palm into her eye.

"No, I have to deal with this myself," she threw her hand down. "There's no telling what Stephanie would do if we called the cops on her."

"Hey, guys!"

Autumn ran up to them, shoving a wrinkled sheet of paper at them. Lena groaned again.

"Where'd you find that?"

"The back parking lot," she said worriedly. "They're on every car out there!"

Lena gawked at her. How many copies had Stephanie made?

"They're all over the track and fields, too," Chad came around the corner behind her. "Heather's got the cheer squad tearing them down now, and I'm going to help Lance get them out of the lots."

Lena crushed the paper into a smaller ball.

"This isn't even close to what happened in Michigan," she couldn't miss the distress that flashed across Ty's face. "I don't know why I'm bothering to freak out about it, she's just some jealous bitch throwing a fit."

Autumn smiled.

"Ty and I can help clean up the ones here," she said. "I promise, there won't be a trace of them by lunch."

Lena looked at her, a fresh wave of worry washing over her.

"But how do we know she's not putting them all over town right now? What if she's—"

"Hey, Lena, relax," Ty took her shoulder again. "We're all here with you, we'll get it done."

She gazed around at them, wishing she could smother the doubt trying to worm its way into her gut. It wouldn't be the first time someone had made her a promise they couldn't, or wouldn't keep. She sighed, then put on a bright smile.

"You guys are the best," she went across the hall and shoved the ruined poster in a recycling bin. "You and Autumn take care of this end of the school, I'll start in the computer lab."

Ty laughed, throwing up a goofy salute.

"You got it, captain!"

<<<>>>

Velvety petals were scattered across the pale, shining marble floor, the elegant stone vases set in each corner overflowing with fresh cut roses: majestic purple, fiery orange, striking blue. The large room was softly lit by a hundred candles, quiet music drifting from hidden speakers, blending with the subdued chatter of the other guests, shimmering in their jewelry, satin and silk. Sheathed in glimmering white, Lena stood by herself on a wide, grand balcony, burgundy taffeta drapes behind her drawn against the chilled air drifting up from the magnificent, moonlit garden below. She breathed in the perfume deeply, gasping when a warm hand fell gently on her waist.

"You'll catch a cold out here," Jason's voice behind her, deep and sexy as ever. He wrapped an arm around her, her face burning when he tilted it to meet his.

"It's not that bad," she whispered, feeling her blush deepen as his hand moved from her chin to cup her cheek.

"If you're not cold," he started quietly, a small smirk on his full lips. "Then why are you shivering?"

She hadn't noticed until then, how her fingers and toes had gone numb, her shoulders trembling.

"Maybe it is a little chilly," she moved closer to him, his heart thrumming strongly against her cheek as she laid her head on his chest. "I've been waiting for you."

He smiled, leaning slowly closer.

"You could've waited inside—"

"Lena!"

She jumped. Autumn was gripping her shoulder and giving her an annoyed look. They were standing at the free samples table by the entrance of a boutique, Lena still holding the perfume that had made her space out.

"About time you came back to Earth," Autumn went on. "I've been calling your name for five minutes!"

"I was in the middle of a daydream," Lena pouted, putting the bottle down. "And it was just getting to the good part!"

Autumn shook her head, then pulled her toward a set of racks filled with a rainbow of formal dresses.

"You can daydream later," she started looking through one. "But right now, you need to find something, we have to meet the guys at the food court soon!"

Lena rolled her eyes, but began scanning another rack, pausing when she found a shimmering off-white gown, a fitted halter flowing into an A-line skirt that skimmed the floor. Autumn squealed, grabbing her arm again.

"Oh, it's perfect! Jason's going to die when he sees you in it!"

Lena froze.

"W-Who said I wanted him to see me?"

Autumn scoffed.

"You had a dream where he kissed you," she reminded her of the conversation they'd had on their way to the mall. With one floor and only twenty shops, it was the smallest one Lena had ever seen. "So of course you have to like him!"

Lena looked back down at the dress, smoothing the skirt against her thigh. She'd barely noticed when her feelings toward him had changed, despite her best efforts, and now all she could do was hope that whatever came of it wouldn't end the way Andy had. That day had been one of the worst of her life, and it still gave her nightmares.

Andy, she couldn't hold back a sniffle. I'm so sorry!

"Lena?" Autumn stopped browsing, concern in her eyes. Lena swiped at hers, pushing the old pain to the back of her mind.

"Sorry, allergies," she flashed a weak smile; it wasn't a total lie. "Uh, what were you saying?"

Autumn looked at her, then flashed her own unsure smile.

"I just asked if you really liked Jason or not."

"Oh, right," she went to a mirrored pillar and held the dress up in front of her. It looked like it would be a perfect fit with some light alteration. "I guess I do, but how do I know he likes me?"

Autumn smirked.

"Um, because we've all told you he does? And he still wants you to watch the meteor shower with him tonight."

Lena cringed.

"I almost forgot about it," she folded the dress over her arm. "I'm not even sure I'll be able to go. Kara got back early and she's—"

"Always drunk out of her mind, from what you say," Autumn crossed her arms. "So just sneak out after she's asleep or something."

She grabbed her phone from her pocket and tapped out a text.

"Now let's go pay for these things, the guys are wondering where we are!"

<<<>>>

Ty waved to them from a large table at the edge of the seating area; Autumn hurried to snatch the spot next to him. Lena was surprised to see Jason on the other end of the bench when she slid in across from them, bent over a sketchbook with a low ponytail spilling over his shoulder. He was left-handed, like Brianna and their father. She looked away when he glanced up, hoping he hadn't noticed her staring at him.

"Something wrong?"

She scratched the side of her neck.

"I just didn't think you'd be here," she hated how nervous she sounded. "You don't seem like the mall type."

"I'm not," he went back to his sketching. "But Ty can be pretty persuasive."

She giggled.

"That's true," she cast a look at Ty, who flashed a sneaky smile. "What're you drawing?"

"Something for history," Jason spun the book toward her. It was a half-finished battlefield, smoking and corpse-strewn, a jagged, snow-capped mountain range looming in the background.

"This is awesome," she turned it back. "I can barely draw stick figures without messing up."

It wasn't far from the truth. He chuckled, closed the book and tucked it in the shoulder bag next to him.

"You still up for tonight?"

"Oh, um," why was it so hard to talk all of a sudden? "Y-Yeah, sure."

His smile faded when Chad sat down next to her, wearing a wide, cocky grin that showed off his fake tooth.

"Hey there, baby," he said mockingly. She scoffed. The guy was usually fun to be around, until some old rivalry he had with Jason reared its ugly head, and it looked like this was one of those times. At least he wasn't using that bad fake accent.

"How much longer will I have to deal with you?"

"Until we hit college, honey," he put an arm around her. "Because you're my girl now."

"I'm nobody's girl," she pushed against him. "Let go of me!"

He chuckled and pulled her closer, then looked at Jason, as though daring him to say something. Jason rolled his eyes and snatched his bag.

"Whatever," he spat quietly. Ty and Autumn stood to let him out, both of them glaring at Chad as they sat back down. He'd let go of Lena the second Jason's back was turned.

"What the hell was that about?" Ty demanded. Chad smirked, leaning back with his hands behind his head.

"Just letting J know he can't get everything he wants."

"What are you talking about?" Autumn snapped. He put his arm around Lena again.

"He wants the new girl," he grinned smugly. "And I just beat him to it."

"Ugh!" Lena jammed her elbow in his side, then shoved him off the bench and slid out, stepping on his hand when she stood. "You freaking dirtbag!"

She snatched her shopping bag, storming off before he could get back to his feet. She wanted to find Jason, but wasn't sure how he'd react after that little scene. He was more sensitive than he let on, and she had a feeling he wouldn't appreciate being confronted by her about it.

I'll see him tonight, anyway, she reminded herself, knowing Autumn had been right about Kara's wine habit. It was getting to where she wondered if the woman was ever sober at all, not that she cared. Every hour Kara spent passed out on the couch or having drunk sex with some random guy was an hour Lena didn't have to worry about a beating for not following the rules. I could probably move out right now and she wouldn't even notice!

Which sounded just fine to her.

<<<>>>

Jason zipped his faded blue coveralls, taking longer than usual to fold his clothes and stash them in his locker. Uncle Luca had called after he'd left the mall, saying they needed an extra set of hands at the garage.

When don't they, he asked himself, then sighed. But not like it's the first time I've had to come in on a day off.

It had annoyed him before, but the more hours he put in, the bigger his paychecks, and that was just fine with him. He unclasped the gold chain around his neck, staring at the cross charm Lance had given him before tucking the necklace in the pocket of his jeans. He'd followed one of his other uncles and converted from Judaism when he was fourteen, but still hadn't told the rest of the family. He knew many of them wouldn't care, but it was the ones who'd think he was betraying their history that had him worried. He growled softly in frustration and slammed his locker shut.

They betrayed me first.

He went out to the main garage where the usual line of classic cars, owned by collectors up and down the coast, sat unattended. Several of his cousins were milling around the open door of his uncle's office, looking bored to death as the old man finished another of his infamous speeches.

"You guys are here to work," Luca spat. He was short and stocky, with piercing dark brown eyes and short, dark gray hair gone white at the temples. His unusually deep voice resonated throughout the long room. "I'm not paying you to waste my time!"

"Then quit wasting ours with your dumb sermons!" Enzo shouted, the group breaking into laughter. He had to be one of the biggest clowns Jason had ever known.

"And it's not like you pay us that much, anyway!" Johnny added, before leaning over to spit his gum in the trash. Luca pinched the bridge of his nose, then yelled at them to get back to work.

"Why can't I get through to them?" he muttered once they'd scattered around the cars. "Dev'esserci qualcosa che possa funzionare."

"Like maybe not raising us with such thick heads?" Jason stopped next to him, adjusting the old company ball cap he always wore backwards while on the job. He couldn't remember how he'd developed the habit, but didn't think it worth the effort to break. Luca snorted.

"You're as smart as the rest of them," he crossed his thick arms. "But at least you get the job done."

He sighed, his wide shoulders slumping.

"God bless Romalo's soul," he went on quietly. Romalo had been Jason's father, oldest of the eight Vetra boys, Luca the third oldest. "He didn't get to do much with you, but he did it well."

Jason didn't bother correcting him, it was better just to let him believe what he wanted, and it was a lot easier than trying to explain everything.

"Whoever that driver was," his uncle went on. "They shouldn't have been allowed to walk away…"

Jason's fist tightened at his side, and he shoved it in his pocket.

"There wasn't anything they could do," he said stiffly. "And there's no changing it now."

Luca shook his head.

"Life's a cruel mistress," he murmured, still lost in the past when Jason huffed out a breath and walked away.

<<<>>>

Jason straightened, glancing around the garage. He thought he'd heard his name being called, going back to the engine he'd been inspecting when no one acknowledged him. He'd bought the old convertible off a senior after getting his license, and he couldn't believe it was still in one piece, much less that it still ran.

That guy had no idea what he was doing!

Someone tapped his shoulder, laughing when he banged his head on the raised, dented hood. He turned to glare at a slim girl with bright red hair, sleek black showing at her roots.

"What do you want, Chelsea?" he pulled off his cap and wiped his forehead, then tugged it back on. She and Nicole were his only female cousins, and they'd spent their whole lives taking advantage of it. She laughed again.

"Are you ever going to be done with this junk pile?"

She put a hand on the windshield, more cracks than glass, grimacing at the swirled neon pink and slime green seat covers that were about the only part of the car left undamaged. Jason rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the stiffness from being bent over so long. Luca insisted on keeping things 'like they'd been in his day', which meant no lifts in the floor or computers to help keep track of things. That was where Chelsea came in.

"I just want to get it running," he said, remembering how it had all but fallen apart at the seams the last time he'd tried to drive it. "No big deal."

She giggled.

"Oh, I think it is a big deal," she patted his cheek, going on in that annoying little singsong voice of hers. "My baby cousin's in love!"

He scowled, swiping her hand away.

"I am not!"

She stepped back, still smiling.

"You think I haven't noticed how you've been acting lately?" she clasped her hands by her cheek, sounding like a gushing mother. "Little Jasi has a crush!"

He cringed at the old nickname, a hot blush flaring across his face.

"No one's called me that since I was three," he reminded her. "And I do not!"

Smirking, she strolled past him, deftly swiping his phone from his pocket. The lock screen had a picture of a green-eyed girl with a shy smile, gazing at the ground with her shining dark hair tossed over her shoulder.

"I saw you mooning over this earlier," she tapped the corner against her chin, looking mockingly thoughtful. "Now why would a girl's picture be on here if you didn't like her?"

He bit his lip. Lance had asked to borrow his phone the day before and hadn't returned it until that morning. He hadn't noticed the change in his wallpapers until Luca had called, when he'd seen they had both been replaced with pictures of Lena. Chelsea waved it toward their other cousins, staying just out of his reach.

"Better spit it out, Jasi," she taunted. "Or everyone will find out about your little girlfriend!"

He groaned. Why did she insist on playing dirty?

"All right, all right, fine," he dragged a hand down his face. "Her name's Lena; we met at school, but we didn't really start talking until we realized we both liked hanging out in the clearing behind our street."

"And?" she prompted curiously. "Go on!"

"And…that's it," he shrugged. She stared at him, bringing her arm back to her side. He hadn't been able to bring himself to make a move yet, with how his last relationship had gone, and how it had ended. Even before then, emotions had been tricky for him, especially toward girls. She blew out a breath, leaving his phone on the closest toolbox.

"I saw what Chad pulled in the food court this morning," she said. She went to the mall every weekend, whether she needed to or not. "Why are you two friends again?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I really don't know sometimes," he went back to work on the engine; having his hands busy always helped him focus. He and Chad had butted heads since they'd met, and it had just gotten worse once Lena had shown up. Chelsea thought a moment, twirling a loose lock of hair with her finger.

"You know, nonna's charity thing is in a few weeks, you could always try asking Lena to that."

He winced, remembering the last time he'd brought a girl with him, the grilling their grandmother had given her. Would the same thing happen if he brought Lena? Would she even say yes if he asked?

He figured there was only one way to find out.