I've always wanted to spend time with him, but I couldn't do that before, for I was unloved by this man beside me. But now, I guess the situation has changed a lot.
I stared at him as he was resting his head on top of his arms. His sleeping face looked so calm and handsome, that I kept holding my breath. The sunlight coming from the window made his face look brighter, but I was sure that he might wake up due to its brightness.
I stood up and headed to the window to close the curtains.
I want him to rest well.
The two of us are currently here at the study. I was reading the books I had gotten before, and he insisted on helping me gain more information, though he is kept in the shadows about what was the reason why I was so desperate to know these information.
"You look as calm as the ocean waters before a storm..." I whispered as I looked at him. "... but I wonder if the storm that's coming my way is enough to destroy me again," I continued as I sat on my seat.
I opened another book and continued reading again.
'You, my reader, must change and ask for forgiveness. You shan't take anything away from anyone anymore, and know how to lead your own life without stealing others'.'
'Be careful of your actions, and be mindful of your words. Destruction shall befall you, should you not do what I say.'
'The path of evil can never be as endless and positive as those who are good. The only ending that awaits evil is death, for they deserve it the most.'
"What are you reading?" I got startled as I heard Vaughn speak. "Oh, this," I said and showed him the title of the book. "The Book's Message. I know this book, it's a magical item. It's quite rare, though I'm not surprised to find it here," he said and took the book from my hands with a smile. "Whatever you read from this book is a message for you. Everyone has different texts laid out for them. For example, this is mine," he said and opened the book.
His face turned red as he read what was written in the book. He cleared his throat and said, "I suppose there is no need for me to read this out loud, as I find it absolutely unnecessary. Though, the purpose of this book is exactly what I told you earlier." I just shrugged and said, "Alright."
As much as I want to know what was written for him, what I wanted to know more was the meaning behind the words that I read earlier. What was that about? I do not understand.
"What was written in yours, Krishiella?" He asked as he smiled at me. I composed myself and smiled back at him. "It's a secret," I replied. He just chuckled and shook his head in response to what I said. "Alright, then. Keep your secrets," he said as he closed the book.
We left the study after a while for we have already been called by one of the maids since it's already lunchtime. As we headed to the dining hall, I still could not get those words out of my head.
'You, my reader, must change and ask for forgiveness. You shan't take anything away from anyone anymore, and know how to lead your own life without stealing others'. Be careful of your actions, and be mindful of your words. Destruction shall befall you, should you not do what I say. The path of evil can never be as endless and positive as those who are good. The only ending that awaits evil is death, for they deserve it the most.'
What does that mean? Have I done something wrong? As far as I can remember, ever since I came back 5 years prior to my death, I haven't done anything that one could consider as an evil deed. In my past life, although I'm not a very affectionate person, I've always tried to show my kindness and love for my family and for the people of our kingdom.
"Krishiella."
Could it also be possible that the book might have been wrong? Of course, I do not know how accurate it is, but there is certainly a chance that it must have gotten the words wrong. I know that I, myself, am not capable of doing something that can be considered evil. Whatever it is about, I'm sure I can uncover the truth behind those words.
"Krishiella."
I just hope... it does not harm me nor the people around me as well. I can't really bring myself to think of horrendous events that might happen. I do not want the past to repeat itself. Now that I am here and I know what will happen in the future, I will do everything in my power to prevent it from happening again.
"Krishiella." I jumped when somebody suddenly tapped my shoulder. "Ah, yes? What's the matter?" I asked Vaughn as I faced him. "Why are you so startled? What were you thinking about?" He asked with a worried expression. "Does this have anything to do with that book?" He continued to ask. I tried my best to conceal my feelings about this matter and said, "It's nothing, Vaughn. I must have stayed up really late last night. I'm a bit fatigued," I said and smiled a little.
"Then please take a rest. You've already finished your meal, haven't you?" He asked and smiled at me as if reassuring me that I will feel better soon. "Indeed, Krishiella. Do take a rest. You haven't been getting a good night's sleep for several nights already," Father said as he eyed me from his seat. He does look very worried, but he, himself, knows that he could not do anything about my condition for I have yet told them about the nightmare that haunts me every single night. "Yes, Father. I will," I said and stood up from my seat.
"I shall bring you to your room, then. I'd feel less worried if you'd let me come with you," Vaughn said and stood up. He offered his arm to me and smiled. I smiled back at him and linked my arm in his. "We shall take our leave now, Your Imperial Majesty," Vaughn said as he faced my Father and bowed a bit.
We left the dining hall and started heading to my room. "You haven't been getting a good night's sleep, as what His Imperial Majesty has said. Is that true? Has something been bothering you these past few days?" He asked as we walked to my room. I had second thoughts about whether I'd tell him the truth or not, but since my Father had already told him about my condition, I guess I don't have much choice but to tell him the truth. "Yes. I've been having nightmares every single night, and I always wake up in the middle of the night panting—having difficulty in breathing. Every morning I... also awake in that state, which has been quite taxing for my body as of late," I said and looked at the marble halls as we walked.
"What should I do to make you feel better, then?" He asked as we stopped walking. "Are you not going to ask me what my nightmare was all about?" I asked as my forehead creased and looked at him. "Oh, should I have asked you?" He said innocently and scratched the back of his head. "No, that's not what I meant," I said as I shook my head. "I was just... quite astounded, for you are the very first person who has not asked me about it," I continued, and smiled. "Oh. Well, I did not ask you because if it was something that has kept you waking during midnight, scared and restless, then I'd rather not remind you of it. It must have been something so appalling, and I do not want you to feel that way again. This is the only way I could think of to prevent you from feeling that way again," he said as he cupped my cheek. "I care for you, Krishiella. Deeply."
I smiled and held his hand that was cupping my cheek. "Thank you," I said as I looked him in the eye.
He is very clueless that he is the very reason why I have been getting nightmares for days. It is not his fault that I have become like this. I know he must have a reason for doing something that awful to be in the past, but the Vaughn in front of me is the very same Vaughn who provided me with comfort back then, and I can't invalidate that fact.
We continued walking, and when we finally arrived in front of my room, I turned to face him and said, "Thank you, Vaughn. Really. Thank you."