The sunlight shines through my blinds and wakes me up. Sighing, I roll over and open my sulken tired eyes. I barely slept at all last night. My anxiety kept me awake. I'm hoping I won't be too tired tonight. There's a knock on my bedroom door.
"Honey, I'm heading for work. There's some leftovers in the fridge."
I cough lightly to clear my dry morning throat.
"Thanks Mom! And just so you know I'm sleeping over at Mallory's tonight."
"Oh okay, tell her I said hello. Bye sweetie, I love you!"
"I will Mom and love you too!"
I hear her high heels clacking until they were too far away. The door closed and the lock tumbles. Sighing, I sat up and scratch my bed head hair.
Might as well get up and take a shower there's no way I can go back to bed. I stand up and grab clothes and underwear and then walk to my bathroom. The sunlight made me wince and I closed my eyes. Finally I adjusted and I stood there looking at myself in the mirror. I look so thin and pale... Gross. My neck has old bruises and the rest of my body is filled with new and old scars. Usually, I put makeup on my neck and wear long sleeved shirts so my Mother won't notice. I don't purposely harm myself but I kind of get caught up in the moment while I'm masturbating so it ends up happening.
Throwing my arms in the air I let my body have a big stretch. I turn on the shower and while I'm bathing there are so many thoughts going through my mind.
What if he kidnaps me? What if he kills me? What if he's going to drug me and sell me into slavery? I mean... This escort is from the dark web... Who knows what kind of person he is? Especially from a site where it had a satanic symbol on it! I'm just in over my head with this... I tried to calm down as I took deep breathes in and out. I tried to think of other things about tonight.
What if he's actually really nice? What if he's so fucking hot? What if he makes my first time amazing? I started to feel better after those thoughts.
I finished my shower, dried off, changed, and combed my hair. I started to pack since I'll be spending the night at Mallory's. I honestly didn't know what to wear? My style of clothing is usually dark colors that are comfy. I searched through my whole closet and eventually decided on a v neck black shirt, my faded blue skinny jeans, and my signature gray beanie. I mean it really doesn't matter what I wear, right? Since we'll eventually be taking them off? I packed all my things and made sure to triple check that I had everything. Once I was sure, I made for the door and headed over to Mallory's place.
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Finally, I arrived at her place and knocked on the door. It took her a while to answer it.
"Kota! You're extremely early." She welcomes me in.
"I just thought it'd be a good idea to leave from here tonight. Plus, you can help me get ready."
"Okay and sure I don't mind. Were you able to sleep last night? You look kind of exhausted."
"Ugh, not really. I was too anxious to sleep and whenever I did I kept having weird dreams and they would wake me up."
She chuckles. "Dang, someone's nervous! I'm sure it'll be alright. But to tell you the truth I'm somewhat nervous too. Just please promise me you'll text me." She looks at me desperately.
"Yes, I promise. You have nothing to worry about. By the way, does this outfit look okay? Like I didn't want to go all out since we'll eventually be... You know... Naked...?"
She crosses her arms, takes a step back, and looks me up and down. "Hmmm... I mean... It's your typical style?"
That got me worried. "What do you mean? Do you think I look bad?" I turn in a full circle so she can see everything.
"Oh my God, Kota! You look fine! I'm just saying that that outfit is you. That it's something that you'd usually wear. You look good." She walks up to me and pats my back.
I sighed. "Geez, Mallory you got me all worried."
"Oops, my bad!" She chuckles. "Did you want me to drive you there tonight?"
"Nah, I'll probably be a bundle of nerves and I feel walking would work it all out."
"Alright. You want some breakfast? I was just about to make some?"
"Yeah sure, but nothing too heavy."
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It's 6:58 PM and I still see no sign of the escort. Uggghhh! I feel like an idiot who got stood up. And I feel embarrassed too because I ended up coming like 30 minutes early! It's 6:59 PM. Dang! I'm getting super nervous! Thankfully, I did remember to text Mallory when I got here. I bite my lip and start contemplating if I should check my watch. I close my eyes and look down. It's 7 PM. As soon as I lifted my head... I see yellow eyes staring back into mine... I froze...