Was love a rose in our hearts? This rose was just pricking its thorns in my heart. Not once did I smell good, but I believed I would smell it based on the thorns. Not once did I complain about the thorns. I was as happy as I could smell it as he pricked his thorns My love for him was enough for me. It was enough for me to know that I would not be reciprocated. It was impossible. one day my rose would scent someone else instead of dipping its thorns, and that day I was going to rip it off from my heart.
I got up from the bed I was lying on and hit the floor with my bare feet. My red hair swelled from not picking it up at night I tried to send the fatigue on me by yawning, but I failed. There was nothing a strong coffee could not handle.
I walked slowly towards the kitchen, as if I was dragging fatigue after me. Anna was in the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast. We were a family of four, and when people were born, they had someone with them until they learned about the environment. someone who loved them more than himself ... There would have been someone who would teach them the pain of life without living. I learned life by tasting the pain. I also had a family. A family that came to me while tasting the pain. We had no blood ties. We also had no faith after what those with blood ties did to us, but no matter what, people needed a mother in their weak moments.
One of the days after finding my sister and brother, I was sitting in the dining hall and eating. There was a boy with blond hair and he told me that spaghetti was actually snake pasta and it crawled on my stomach. While eating the spaghetti, I dropped one of them from my fork and because I was afraid that it might poison someone, I bent over and ate it. When I was about to get up, I saw the woman who was interested in the refectory coming towards me. I suddenly fell to the ground and I thought a piece of fire fell on my cheek. It was a huge chaos afterwards, but we became a huge family of four since then.
After my coffee, I wanted to go to my room, but Anna wouldn't let me. He said I couldn't go without a snack, and unwillingly, I sat down at the table. If I said I was going to be late for work, he would have liked to send the food there, and that was the last thing I wanted. When the others arrived, we started breakfast.
"Today I hope your work ends early. I want to spend time together in the evening." Adam said. When I looked up and looked into his eyes, I knew he was telling me. My work always ended early for him, but he didn't need to know that.
"I don't know. I'll try to finish early." I said. It was not clear what would happen. More patients may have been given appointments. I could not promise.
"You are absolutely afraid. It was a bad score. We beat you by difference." Taylor said. I was used to her spoiled kid situations, but she was right.
"We'll see you when I come early tonight. Cheaters!" I said. The last time I said it, I smiled in order not to create a serious environment.
I was supposed to end the conversation here. I was going to be late. I got up from the table and strode briskly towards my room. "You haven't eaten anything yet!" I ignored hearing Anna yelling.
I was wandering left and right in my room. Bathing was essential for my frizzy hair, but I could be late. I took off my clothes and entered my room's bathroom. I turned on the hot water and watched the shower cabin lose its transparent effect with steam. my job was like that. We would cover all suffering, realities with a thin layer of peace. We could not eliminate the pain, but we were trying to find ways to lose track of it. I put my body in hot water. hot water made me feel like I was cleansing my soul of all sins. I shouldn't have been too long. When I got out of the bath, drops of hot water on my skin were being replaced by a cold steam and it made me want to go back into hot water.
I went across my wardrobe in a bathrobe. Today was the red day. A red knit dress would do the trick. Yesterday I stood in front of the mirror I was looking at myself. I applied a brightening cream on my skin and a dense mascara on my lashes. I was ready after I put the red lipstick on my lips.
I grabbed my black coat from the closet and left my room. Noticing me in the hallway, Anna called out.
"Are you dating honey?"
I answered as I walked out the door without stopping my steps.
"Yes."
The sun was trying to warm people with all his might, without hiding himself behind any cloud. I took off my coat and left it on my arm.
I started walking with the confidence my high heels gave me, the sound it made made me lift my head a little more each time. I would soon be in the clinic and with a hot coffee my family would start listening to the problems of people I know. It was not a place I ran alone. I had a friend I met during my college years and we were working together here. His brother took care of the appointment procedures. It was my first year at this place, which opened for more than two years, but I already had patients who came frequently.
After getting to know my friend who worked with me at the university, he was almost like one of us. She was staying with his brother in our next apartment.We said many times that the house would be enough for us, but she didn't want him to stay with us. We spent time together almost every day. The biggest reason for not moving with us was that there was someone smoking at home. She didn't know that his brother was using it. She had asthma, it was very harmful to him. Taylor could not be said to have liked him, either.
I was entering here with the happiness of fulfilling my dream. As I walked through the pink door, I remembered my love for my job and entered like that.
When I got inside I saw John was editing his appointment files.
"Good morning, John." I said. I was able to reflect the positive energy of my smile. He pulled his brown eyes away from the red folder and looked at me. The seriousness on his face was replaced by a smile when I arrived. I walked over to the hangers beside his desk.
"Good morning, sister. You look beautiful. Is there a reason?" said. If a woman has a fellow man with whom she has to fight and she is in the same environment, she would have no other reason to dress beautifully.
I looked at him while hanging my coat. "I love this place and try to be worthy. After all, we work with a handsome man." I said and after saying that, I winked at him.
I finally could see his white teeth. I headed for the stairs and said, "Can you get me a coffee?" I said. No matter how I said it, he would still bring the coffee, but I didn't want it to be broken even if it was small. my sentence did not contain an imperative, but was actually an imperative sentence.
Now I had each stair I climbed built for a person. The first staircase was for my sister. Anna. It was for my sister, who stood like a huge shield around my body that has been protecting me since my childhood.
The second ladder was for Adam I struggled with, with the strength of his love and the ambition to get it.
The third ladder was my brother with blonde hair, the owner of the snake pasta that had blood on his hand for me.Taylor.
The fourth stair was me.
The fifth staircase was Megan, the sixth John, the seventh Emily, and finally the eighth staircase Mark.
There was a ladder for every person who had a mark in my life. I told the master who said that this place needed more stairs in the construction phase, there should definitely be eight stairs. It was very difficult, but he succeeded.
When the stairs finished, two rooms came to me. Megan was written next to someone in big letters. It had a red door and a gray arm, everyone designed their own room. We were driving away the dirty thoughts of many people in this place, which is the accumulation of dreams. Every person we failed to fall over our dreams like a nightmare.
Next to the room was another room with a green door, and next to this room was the word Jess in huge letters. The handle of this door was also gray. I grabbed the handle of the door and turned it around. It smelled like me. The walls of this room, decorated with a green sofa, were purple. There were frames hung on the walls and each one led to different times and happiness.
Anna had my head dipped under water during our vacation last year and I cried when the salt water ran into my throat. I had also brought Taylor's head to water, who made this eternal. In the second frame, it was snowing and we were all playing snowballs together.
There was another big frame at the end of the frames and it was filled with dried roses. I was carefully arranging every rose that Adam bought in this frame.He was very happy when he saw this frame and now every morning I found a bunch of roses on my desk. Next to the glass was a blue chair and opposite it was a yellow table. I was meeting patients here.
I left my bag on my table and sat in my chair. I can tell from the sounds of high-heeled shoes that Megan has come here.
"Good morning, dear. Today my schedule is a bit busy, but I have work so I have transferred one person to you. A new patientI am invited to you in the evening."
She left the file in his hand on my table and sat down on the chair opposite me. She put his polished nails on my table and started to make a sound in rhythmic movements. This movement was the movement of people who were hiding something and didn't think it would go right. I looked into his green eyes.
"Is there a problem, Megan?"
She looked up and stared into my eyes for about twelve seconds. If what she was hiding was about me, she wouldn't have been able to look at me for that long.
"No, I'm just thinking of delaying a few dates today until tomorrow. I want to spend time together."
This is why Adam wanted me to be home early in the morning. It was for spending time together. She could have delayed a few appointments. Was this anxiety just for a few dates?
With her fingernails that she had just hit the table, she was now stroking her black wavy hair. Her white skin contrasted beautifully with her hair. Although I had been in the same environment with him for years, I knew little about him. She had a brother. he had no family. They were living on money left over from their family.
"You can do whatever you want Megan, it is a mistake for you to ask me."
I smiled and stretched my hand towards the door.
"Our patients have started to come."
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, then he left the room in rapid steps.
17.30
I had listened to seven patients. I looked through his files and directed John to make an appointment. I had one last patient left. I stood up when he entered.
"Welcome, Miss Smith. Sit down."
The woman who came in sat without looking at me. She had gray and curly hair. I shuddered when he looked up and looked into my eyes. There was something in his gaze that scared me. I saw that day in your gaze.