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I decided to give my sexy readers a double release today, UwU. Now praise the corn and have fun, I'll be working on Twilight, Avatar, The Witcher, Resident Evil and Percy Jackson on my Patreön, working to have them ready for webnovel in some cases and in others to finish them like the Avatar fic.
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[ONE WEEK OF TRAINING MONTAGES LATER]
I was ready to face Gunilla in battle, a defeat her once and for all, but first… it was time to enact my over the top plan… first I created an illusion around me that would make me look like a Platypus… then I got a top hat…. and then I blatantly modified a song from my childhood years back in my first life.
"I look like a Platypus?" I asked to none in particular as I saw myself in the mirror, "Check,"
I then turn around to to grab my newly acquired Boombox, and my new music theme, "Alright, I have everything I require to win this, and get my sweet revenge,"
With a smile I ran outside the room, getting… a lot of odd stares until I got to the arena, where Gunilla was waiting for me… and let's say she was shocked to see me.
"What… what is this?" Gunilla pointed at me, while from afar I could see Odin and… Thor? Laughing, even Frigg was giggling.
"This?" I gestured to my platypus illusion body, "Is your doom!"
"You pretend to fight me in that form?" Gunilla asked.
"Is an illusion, my form didn't change," I replied only for her to hear, "You will be able to see the real me once we start fighting… of course I didn't actually shapeshift to an animal that can't throw a punch… I think… but everyone else will see the Platypus!" I smiled like a mad man, putting the cd I had worked on the Boombox.
🎶Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah. Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah. Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah🎶
And so the fight started, first I enhanced my optic nerves and my brain, followed my body, with my speed I approached her, and started throwing punches at her while dodging her attacks with relative ease, my brain was processing the information faster than she could punch.
🎶He's a semi aquatic, Prank planning mammal of action!🎶 At this verse, I smiled punching her in the face with the force of a cannon. Bitches love cannons.
"You changed…." Gunilla muttered, trying to deliver a kick to my side, one that I parried with my knee.
🎶Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah. Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah🎶
"Well, I have discovered how to… cheat my progress," I smiled, getting in a few jabs before having to jump back to avoid her grasp.
🎶He's a furry little flatfoot. Who never flinched. From a fra-ee-ay-ee-ay!🎶
"I see," Gunilla muttered, determined to win this she decided to take the offensive.
But I was expecting this, and with a smile I charged at her, with my eyes and brain as they were it was easy to avoid her attacks almost too easy I still had to know how to act… but still, I wonder if this is how every other normal character felt when Madara was clapping them cheeks….?
🎶He's got more than just mad skill. He's got a beaver tail and bill🎶
Pushing through her attacks I stepped on her foot interrupting her foot work, and delivered an uppercut with all my strength that lifted her into the air, this disoriented her… I could see it in her eyes as she struggled to move to avoid a damaging fall.
🎶And the women swoon. Whenever they hear him say - I am a true believer of gender equality- 🎶
Taking this chance I locked her on a hold, my arms around her neck and my legs around her torso, "Yield!"
🎶He's Adam! Adam the platypus!🎶
Gunilla trashed around… but soon conceded, declaring me the winner of our first duel!
🎶He's Adam! Adam the platypus!🎶
"Hahaha! Yes!" I laughed, helping Gunilla stand up, who was glaring at me, "What?"
"I am both proud and… angry at you," Gunilla growled, "Did you have to beat me with… all of this? Was the song necessary? A warrior doesn't need such things!"
"This warrior does," I gestured to me with a cheeky smile, "And yes, it was all necessary… you sent your sisters… the Valkyries to beat me while I was taking a dump… sometimes even when I was sleeping… I haven't slept for more than two hours a day… since that day…. do you have any idea… how terrifying that was?" I asked her and she said nothing, at that I smiled, lowering my voice a couple notches, "If you ever send your Valkyries again after me… in the sanctity of my room, I will curse all of you to look like animals… illusions of course, but good luck getting respect when all you see is a chicken with a sword, this was just to show you… I can do it,"
"Fair enough…" Gunilla sighed.
"Oh… I almost forgot," I smiled, this smile wasn't a normal one… no… this one was of pure unadulterated evil, "Enjoy looking like a ballerina!" With that I casted the curse, and ran as a platoon of Valkyries chased after me, with their fairy looking leader, Gunilla leading the charge.
"You will truly enter Valhalla today, for today is the day I kill you!" Gunilla shouted, and all I could do was laugh and run, the tutu was a nice touch, sometimes I love my evil genius.
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[Thor POV]
When the Allfather said… Adam would beat my daughter soon, I did not expect this… this had to be the most hilarious and ridiculous way to beat someone… he turned into a Platypus! And defeated Gunilla in less than three minutes!
"Hahahahahahahahaha!" Odin laughed.
"It's settled! He shall be my new drinking/battle buddy!" I stated, slamming my hammer to the ground, shattering the marble beneath my feet to dust, this was to let everyone know that if anyone wanted to fight me for the honor of drinking and fighting alongside Adam, this was the time.
"No one will fight you for the honor," Odin declared, and with a smile and two beers I ran to greet my new pal, "You are free to try and befriend the kid," he chuckled as he saw me run.
"Our adventures will echo through the nine realms!" I laughed.