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After Hestia made me her champion, for no other reason other than me asking her, I embarked on my journey to find the master bolt. Alone.
With a positive attitude, I first tried to locate the weapon with my magic, and got nothing, not surprising though, considering Zeus has Hecate on speed dial, but I didn't let that minor inconvenience stop my adventure before it even began, so I did the next best thing, I manically tracked Ares.
This time getting a location from the spell, showing the overconfident god of war was not as intelligent as one would think for an immortal being.
"Seattle?" I muttered, looking at the map with a minor degree of disbelief, of all the places in the world this adventure could've taken me… it took me to Seattle, "Oh, well, they do have some nice enchiladas there if I remember correctly, so I suppose the trip will be worth it,"
"Tropelet ot elttaes!" With that said, I appeared conveniently inside of an abandoned house, in the middle of what I expect to be Seattle, "I really need to start being more specific with where I want to go… I could've just popped into existence midair or close to something… lethal like a woodcutter," I chuckled.
Taking a few seconds to gather my thoughts, I walked to the nearest window and inspected the situation outside. By the looks of it, I had teleported to the slums of the city. How did I know that? Well, there were three people selling and consuming what I can only assume is crack, not that I am a crack expert to have an accurate depiction of the matter.
"Alright," I hummed as I took a few steps back from the windows, deciding it was best to have a general idea where to find Ares before getting out of the house, I knew he was in Seattle, but that didn't help at all, Seattle was big as fuck, so I took a needle out the bag Hestia had given me for the quest, and a map, to use them on a spell to locate Ares, "Eldeen fo eht tsew etacol serA!"
The needle immediately started to glow in a faint black color that showed the spell was in place, seconds later it started to move around the map.
Hahah, yes! Wait for me Ares, I will fuck your idiotic plot.
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Once again, I celebrated too… toooo early, why? Well, allow me to explain, when I started my hunt on Ares, I forgot a few details about the gods and their powers…. and to summarize, I forgot Gods can be in several places at the same time, which meant my location spell…. was, well… useless.
The fucking neddle had been moving nonstop around the map for hours trying to locate Ares, never stopping in one location for more than five seconds… but I suppose not all was in vain, I did learned Ares goes to every bar in Seattle for at least five seconds a dozen hundred times an hour… and yes I know that doesn't make sense mathematically speaking, sue me.
"Hey who the fuck are you?!" Oh, yeah, I had totally forgotten, I was in crack town, and a crack citizen had entered the crack cave.
"Look, I have a headache and not much time to waste, so go smoke your crack or your drug of choice out of here," I said, not even looking at the guy that had entered the house.
"You little shit!," the guy snarled, walking towards me in what I assumed was his walk of, imma show this little shit some respect.
I sighed, turning around to stop the guy from trying to stab me, with a quick kick that sent him… literally flying through the drywall of the room we were in, "Huh, demigod strength I suppose," I chuckled, wondering if I had killed the guy… "Hey are you alright?" I asked, getting no response, "I will burn the house if you are dead… you know… to burn the evidence, so talk now or die in flames,"
"I'm not dead!" And there it is, uff, I almost killed a… well, I wouldn't say an innocent man, but I can't judge based on his really self destructive actions, so… I will go by. I almost killed an innocent but positively guilty guy, fifty fifty.
"Alright, now take that concussion and think about your life," I chuckled.
"I will!" The guy groaned in pain.
With a satisfied chuckle I turned around to see that the needle had stopped in a hotel, hahaha, it seems I will get to cockblock a God, I will think of the deadly consequences later… who said the demigod business gets boring is a fool… no one said that.
"Good luck with your future life choices," I shouted, as I left the house.
"Thanks…." The guy groaned and I laughed, ahhh, this poor guy really... cracked me up... haha.
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Deciding it would be a waste of mana to teleport to the hotel, I walked to the hotel hoping Ares wasn't as quick as a roster on the bed… which for a god would be hilariously bad.
The hotel was a somewhat high end one, but nothing that said I am rich and dumb, more along the lines I am rich and want to fuck.
"Alright," I sighed, as I looked with trepidation at the hotel entrance, before reluctantly walking in, as soon as I entered the hotel, I could feel… the power vibrating in the air… and…. that sounded very sexual.
Following the power to the source, I walked to the elevator and went to where the suits were, all while thinking what would be a good ... a godlike cockblocking line… here's Johnny?! Nah… Cock-a-doodle-don't? Maybe….
"Holy shit…" I gasped as the elevator opened on the last floor, shocked to feel something I had failed to notice till now… there was more than one godly figure here, "Must be Aphrodite," I concluded, considering Ares was head over dick for her, the allfuckable Goddess of Love.
"Oh well," I chuckled, "I will exterminate any intercourse in the perimeter!" I added with my best terminator expression.