Once Bai Yue was fully dressed, her hair flowing freely behind her, Liu'er went to get breakfast from the kitchen. Although the fifth young miss was ill, the servants didn't dare to bully her and her food was always the best. After all, ill or not, Bai Yue remained the daughter of the first wife. Speaking behind her back inside the servants' rooms was fine. But to bully her? Ah, this was simply seeking death!
When Liu'er came back, she was followed by three burly maids, each carrying a plate with several dishes. Bai Yue didn't move from her seat in front of a bronze mirror, her eyes void of emotions as they stared at her reflection. There was also no smile on her face, her lips a thin, almost white, line.
Upon seeing this, the three maids couldn't help feeling uneasy. Those black eyes of the fifth young miss, didn't they look like the glassy eyes of a corpse?
They hastily put down the dishes on a low varnished wood table and took their leave. They didn't forget to bow towards the back of the fifth young miss before doing so, but Bai Yue didn't move at all.
Truly like a corpse. The only thing missing was the rotting stench.
"Young miss, the breakfast is ready," Liu'er said in a soft voice when only the two of them remained inside the room. "Madam instructed the kitchen staff to only prepare your favorite food."
Bai Yue didn't look away. Instead, she slowly raised her hand to grab an eyebrow brush on the dressing table and snapped it in two. The innocuous piece of wood suddenly became a possible weapon, albeit a fragile one. Bai Yue caressed one of the sharp ends with her finger.
Liu'er was immediately frightened and made her way to the dressing table with a worried expression. "Miss, be careful not to-"
"Liu'er," Bai Yue interrupted the young girl, "don't you think that face of mine would look better with a scar?"
"Ah?! Y-young miss!" Liu'er snatched the broken brush from Bai Yue's hand, her own hand trembling. "Young miss, how could you say that? A woman's duty is to take care of her parents in childhood, her husband and in-laws in womanhood, and her son in widowhood. Who would want to marry a woman with a scar on her face?"
Bai Yue turned her head to look at the flustered girl by her side. These words of her, they weren't wrong... But neither were they right.
In her past life, Bai Yue never disobeyed. The path a woman had to follow, she followed. Except for that one time in the imperial garden, she suppressed her hidden desires and forgot her love for books and knowledge once she married the Emperor. But in the end, all she got was humiliation, pain, and a gruesome ending.
So, if she really had to live in this harsh world again, she would certainly not walk the same path again.
"Liu'er... is there really no other meaning in life for women than to get married? Taking care of others is fine, but why is there no one to take care of women as well?"
"Young miss... this..."
"Obey your father in childhood, your husband in womanhood, your son in widowhood," Bai Yue recited the words she had to write down many times when she was little and learning to write. "In the end, it appears that all women are mere slaves to men. The little freewill a woman has is only what a man allows her to have. It is such a pity..."
Truly a pity. And more often than not, also a tragedy.
"Young miss... I do not understand."
Bai Yue's face didn't reveal any hint of disappointment. Standing up, she smoothed the wrinkles on her clothes and gave Liu'er a faint smile. "It is fine if you don't. One day, you will."
With that said, she walked to the table, sat down, and started eating slowly. The food was good. Delicious, even. But Bai Yue only ate small mouthfuls, each one painfully difficult to swallow. Because every time she saw food, she would remember the feeling of food being forced down her throat, choking her at the same time. With her arms cut off, she couldn't do a single thing to defend herself.
Her hands shook slightly and Bai Yue put down her chopsticks with a frown marring her forehead. "I'm full."
Liu'er glanced at the plates and sighed inwardly. There was still so much food... But at least, her young miss ate more than the previous days. It seemed her condition was improving a little. Madam would be happy when she went to report.
"Have you already eaten?" Bai Yue asked Liu'er while she was rinsing her hands in the water bowl.
"Yes, young miss. I grabbed a bun in the kitchen on my way back here."
Bai Yue looked up and down the maid's thin body. The girl was fifteen, yet she looked like a small child. Especially in the chest area.
Perhaps her stare was too obvious. A blush appeared on Liu'er's face and she placed her arms in front of her.
Bai Yue snorted, a low chuckle escaping from her lips. "What are you hiding? There is nothing there."
"Young miss! This is not an appropriate thing to say!" Her face was now bright red and her eyes were darting around the place as if to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "I-I-I"
"What is it? You don't agree with me?" Bai Yue teased her, propping up her cheek with one hand. "Come eat. We need to fatten you a little."
She tugged on her maid's dress with her free hand, pulling her down next to her. She then wiped a chopstick and filled a plate with food. "Try this, it tastes delicious and it is good for your health."
Liu'er fidgeted, not sure whether she should eat or not. After a whole month, she had become used to her young miss' weird antics but this was certainly a first. Her poor, pitiful young miss was serving food for a mere servant!
How was this improving?! Ah! This was obviously worsening!
"Young miss, did someone bully you?" Servants might not dare to bully the fifth young miss, but the same could not be said for the young miss' family. "Is it fourth miss again?"
The fifth young miss' father, Count Zhong, named Bai Zhang Wei, had one wife and three concubines. His wife, Madam Fu, bore him two children - the eldest young master Bai Rui and the fifth young miss Bai Yue. As a captain in the northern army, Bai Rui was seldom home.
Apart from those two, the concubines gave birth to four other children - the second young master Bai Chen and three daughters. The third young miss, the eldest daughter, was already married and didn't live in the Bai manor anymore.
Currently, only the concubine son Bai Chen and the two concubine daughters could bother the fifth young miss. Of those three people, the fourth young miss Bai Hua was the most difficult to deal with. Born a week before Bai Yue, she often used her position as an older sister to bully Bai Yue. Also, both Bai Hua and her mother Concubine Xi were always scheming against someone in the house. Even though the Count was aware of this, he was a man and wouldn't lower himself to take care of household matters.
Moreover, Concubine Xi was also the birth mother of Bai Chen. In spite of his young age, Bai Chen was already an assistant in the Ministry of Rites and enjoyed good relations with the head of the ministry. In fact, the relationship was so good that Bai Chen was engaged to the second daughter of the minister, born to his favorite concubine.
In such a situation, how could Bai Zhang Wei bear to scold the concubine mother and sister of such a good son?
Especially when compared to his eldest son and heir Bai Rui who ran off to the northern border to be a soldier!
"Liu'er, what are you talking about?" Bai Yue responded somewhat helplessly. What Bai Hua? What could that haughty girl do to her? All Bai Hua had, was her little childish tricks. It was nothing compared to the hell that was Bai Yue's past life. "I only want you to eat a little. Look at you, you are so thin. What will I do if you get blown away by the wind?"
"This... Is this possible?" Liu'er glanced down at the food on the table and bit her lips. Indeed, what would her pitiful young miss do if Liu'er disappeared? Would the next maid Madam found take good care of miss?
Ah! Wait! This was not the problem! The problem was her young miss serving food for a servant!
Alas, Bai Yue didn't let Liu'er go back to the main subject and waved her hand in the air dramatically. "Who knows? Better to prevent it by eating a lot."
"But..."
"No but. Eat."
With that said, Bai Yue forced the chopstick in Liu'er's mouth and got up.
Liu'er could only watch her young miss enter the study and come back with a book, sitting lazily on a chair to read.