"Dad, what's that?"
"That's a prickle tree. It's called that because it's prickly"
"Dad...what's that?"
"That's some blue fern. It's called that because it's blue, and it's fern"
"Dad, what's that?"
With Aya on my lap and myself sitting in a comfortable wooden chair covered in cotton pillows provided from General Dunham's old stuff that I stole, Aya continues asking question about our surroundings.
With her cute finger pointing at things, she always without fail, turns her head, looks at me with puppy eyes and tilts her head slightly.
'She might have practiced this from someone...'
With a heavy sigh, I answer her 6th question of the hour and after the 10th, I almost just want to toss her into the capital from here.
However, I can't do this. Kids are naturally curious about everything: about sex, about the world, about the economy and maybe even about some trivial stuff like this.
As a girl with a 14 year old papa-dependent brain, she is naturally not shy when asking me things. She hasn't found out about sex yet, but I plan on keeping her like this.
The moment I refuse to answer her and maybe even get annoyed at her, it might stunt her growth in knowledge. Her knowledge in magic is immense and even with her weak body, she is useful.
Her knowledge about nature and the elements around her severely affected her growth in her earth magic. If I deny her the knowledge to know about this world, she might lose the drive to learn more.
Without drive, she won't be motivated as my daught- equipment. As my piece of equipment.
While I answer her question about mana water, she lightly smiles and leans her head into my chest like a sleepy cat or a lovable dog.
"Thanks a lot dada...love you"
"Uhuh. Love you too"
As she purring in my arms, she demands some headpats, to which I oblige. My rough and calloused hands start rubbing her head lightly and while trying to make it as comfy as possible, she groans in delight.
My hard fingers start massaging her scalp and my palm starts twisting and squeezing her hair. Her eyes close in delight and she finally dozes off to dreamland.
I carefully pick up her top-heavy body and lay her on the comfortable chair so that I could stretch my leg that feel asleep.
Looking at Aya right now, something inside of me wells up. I have no idea what this is, but for some reason, I don't want to be like dad anymore.
This feeling inside of me disgusted me initially. And in fact, it still does until this day. Why the fuck wouldn't I want to be dad? Dad is dad. He is worth billions of won and makes billions of won every single month.
He branched away from his own father's failing company and started a trading company that grew in size the more dedication he put into it. Soon, he was able to settle down and he made me and my sister.
The feeling to "protect" Aya from my father might sound ridiculous, but it's something my brain is telling me. My brain is telling me that something is wrong, but it doesn't know.
For now, I guess I'll see where this Aya daughter thing goes. Who knows, maybe her and little Abby might be able to cooperate in the future when my companies are more setup and properly established.
But yeah, this is weird feeling. Not wanting my descendants to be like father...it's an interesting thought from my very contradictory and complex brain, but it's my brain and I was meant to trust it.
Doubting my brain would mean that I'm doubting every single bit of memorizing training, comprehension training and brain processing power training that I endure from father.
Huh. Even with these useful and helpful training techniques, looking at Aya makes me want to not use them...I'll go on a walk.
'My fucking brain is messing with me again. These voices from father won't shut up. I need to think on my own for a while'
As I was taking a small walk through the grassy meadows covered in what looks like snow, but is actually ash, I hear a startling sound.
[are you going to disobey me again?]
'...father?'
Those voices in my head suddenly got louder the moment I started thinking about Aya's future more.
To be honest, I don't really truly care for her too much, I think. This is just an internal conflict that happens to involve her. She is just stuck in the middle on my bullshit brain.
[don't tell me you are going to go soft now, boy. That girl is in need of severe training, boy]
'I know. She isn't perfect'
While conversing to my father inside of my mind, I start unconsciously pacing back and forth anxiously while rubbing my palms and feeling my legs go a bit wobbly.
'But...'
[there are no buts, son. She isn't perfect, and you know that. Now, what do we do to fix the imperfections in life?]
'...we train them until they are perfect or...or leave them behind'
'Uhuh...you still are my son after all. Fix this stupid thought process of yours, damn it]
Even as his scolding ends there, his voice lingers inside of me for a while until after nearly an hour had passed. By this time, Aya was still sleeping, but Hana and Anna were both slightly panicking.
When I returned back to the camp, I made sure I was okay and fell asleep inside of my tent while thinking about today's events and my little talk with "dad".
'...I still don't want to fix her. I just...feel disgusted with continuing myself'
For some reason, even the thought of making her like me is making my brain hurt. I know I'm being an idiot. I know I'm possibly throwing away my plans here, but I can't get over this feeling.
This feeling of a sticky-icky thing that's eating me up. I don't want to pass this on. Never ever. No matter what I want to believe or how much father tells me off, I can't shake this feeling.
'Why in the hell do I not want to make my plans perfect?!?!'
Needless to say, I took a short nap before getting up again and tending to a pouting Aya. Seeing her like this just affirms my decision of not wanting this icky feeling onto others.
I know I shouldn't care. If this had meaning, I wouldn't mind it, but it doesn't. My brain is being contradictory during my plans for the first ever time. I've never strayed from a plan, ever.
Some improvise is necessary for success, but not something this drastic. I'm so fucking possession at myself. I need to fix this quickly and until then, I'd better think things more carefully.
As Aya asks her 15th question of the day, I genuinely smile at her naive-ness. Ahhh, I'm not annoyed now.
'Is this my brain computing something? Is it more beneficial to not make her like me?...'
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Obviously, I wouldn't want her like me, it would be bad for...well, ME! If she was as smart, calculated and strong as me, I'd be digging my own grave.
This daughter of mine, while being my equipment, could still rebel in subtle ways. Neglecting some duties, doing them half-heartedly or maybe gathering an insurrection against me.
'Yeah...I guess I'm not as complex as it thought. Just keep those feelings about her bottled up and everything will be alright. My plans and future are all...right'
Feeling content with my epiphany, I enthusiastically answer her questions and even encourage it. This is fun. This is me starting to make my future plans turn their gears to eventually make a profit.
I'm not enjoying her company, I'm enjoying the future benefits of this company. Yeah, she is profitable and will be profitable.
Thank God for that.
She is my daught- loyal equipment after all...no, if I think about her that way so soon, it may trigger a sixth sense in her that makes her think I resent her.
'She is my daughter after all, why shouldn't I enjoy my time with her? She is prof-...my daughter. Yeah, she's mine. My only daughter and I'd better keep her safe'
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(A.N) yo! Another chapter for you beautiful readers and I hope you are having a wonderful day today! As usual, I have to thank the people who continue to support this novel of mine.
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