I woke up later than I was supposed too because I wasn't able to set my alarm clock last night. I was even lucky to even wake up and not get my ass late for school. That's all thanks to Caylus for leaving me hanging last night, what a jerk.
School was like as always, busy jamming all information in your head in one discussion. I have this mindset that school shouldn't be forcing, that school allows the students to learn and explore the world. That teaches us how to survive not just simply putting loads of information that we don't even need in our daily basis. I mean if school did that at the first place, our country wouldn't be like this.
I'm honestly sick of school and the school system, but I have to be in school because I wish to get a degree and a decent job when I grew up. Speaking of that, I dream to be an architect one day. I was inspired by Spain and Italy's architecture: I only saw pictures of it in Pinterest, I haven't travelled around the world yet but I do hope that one day I do.
11:20 am , it's lunch time already.
I unconsciously checked my phone, hoping for Caylus' name to pop up but none. Why am I even waiting for his name to pop up in my screen anyway? It's so weird of me.
"Alright class, I want you to go with your dance partner in this instant and get ready for practice."
I don't basically dance but these are things I have to do for grades. I was just staring at the floor when a shadow reflected the floor that brought my gaze up to who is this man standing in front of me. It was no other than Delice.
I won't lie but I use to have a crush on Delice.
He's smart, responsible, funny, and kind. My type of guy. He was sincerely kind to that I mistaken his kindness with affection, because of that I found my heart broken into pieces when I found out he doesn't see me that way. Eavesdropping is bad but I couldn't help it but listen to every word he said that pierced my heart.
All I wished that one day my heart just stop crying every time I met his eyes, wishing that one day he would like me back. I don't know how to describe my heart now, maybe I can describe it that my heart is now compose and it doesn't hurt like crazy.
"Good afternoon my lady."
Delice jokingly bowed down like a gentleman and extended his hand for me.
"Good day gentleman."
I played along with his roleplay, but I ended up letting out a soft chuckle because this is so corny.
"I want to see a clean dance routine this time, in 3,2,1"
then the song flightless bird by American Mouth decided to play.
I positioned myself for the dance with Delice.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
And as the lyrics played I opened my eyes slowly and looked at Delice, then we started to sway in the dance floor.
I was a quick wet boy
Diving too deep for coins
All of your straight light eyes
Wide on my plastic toys
Our eyes met and I don't know if my eyes are playing tricks with me, but I see burning passion in those deep blue eyes of eyes.
His eyes...
His eyes are captivating and I couldn't help it but remember those days; where my heart would beat insanely loud every time we are this close. Memories started flushing back as the song is getting into me, how I secretly cried at night.
Then when the cops closed the fair
I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog eared map
And called for you everywhere
But those feelings are not the same now.
It doesn't beat like crazy when our skin touches. This time all I have for him is adoration for his kindness and nothing more.
But that one person emerge in my mind.
Digging deeper into my mind, heart, and soul.
This time my heart beat was uncontrollable, my face started to flush and I am catching up my breath. I feel like I am loosing oxygen faster as my thoughts were getting occupied with Caylus and Caylus only. Images of him smiling imbedded my mind, how his small sweet actions affects the entire me.
Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
Or lost you?
American mouth
Big bill looming
Slowly, the way I looked at Delice. He started to resemble Caylus and my knees started to weaken.
I must be dreaming.
He will never dance with me.
Nor feel the same.
Yes, I will officially admit that I am in like Caylus.
I'm not sure if it's just a mere like or affection, but I do feel a strong connection pulling us together.
Now I'm a fat house cat
Cursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Curl through the wide fence cracks Pissing on magazine...
He may not like me the way I see him.
This thought tightened my heart.
Slowly I looked down to cover my downhearted emotion written on my face. As the song ended with a last spin and Delice gently let go of my hand to give his courtesy bow.
Back to reality, my heart was still tight.
That I was being a dreamer and not a realist. Caylus haven't spoken to me the whole day since yesterday, maybe that's it. He's done having fun of me.
"Excellent! That was indeed a marvelous performance. Keep it up!" Mr Martinez said with a tone of satisfaction.
The class looked joyous that finally this dance practice went well. That all that scolding paid off.
" Don't get too over joyed with just that, I want to see you dance again with the same level of performance you gave awhile ago."
With that Mr. Martinez readied the song.
About my partner Noah, well I lied to Caylus. I was only partnered with Delice and the name Noah was just a made up name. I did that just to see his reaction. I wasn't expecting him to get jealous but deep down inside, I was hoping something that I can't describe. A feeling that I'm not familiar with.
Delice spoke and it brought me back to my reverie.
"Another round, another dance with you my lady." Delice said with a gentle voice.
I extended my hand to him and positioned for the dance.
The day ended and I was on my bed. Squatting and staring at my phone.
I don't know why I'm waiting for his text but I feel like I can't sleep if I don't get to talk to him. I got used to his company that I'm looking for it.
7pm quickly passed and it was 12 am already.
But still there is no reply from Caylus.
Is this how my crush will end?
I let out a heavy sigh and opened my phone to set my alarm. I then placed in on top of my desk beside my bed and inserted myself in my thick soft blanket. Trying to close my eyes to sleep.
I still can't sleep that I decided to count sheep's in my head.
34..35..36..37
Feeling uncomfortable in my position, I turned to face my left in a sideward way. My window with a thin curtain slightly covering the moonlight. A few seconds then pass and a beam of light reflected the tree across my window. That only means a car passed by or either its parking. I thought the car would pass by but to my surprised the light stayed for a couple of minutes before I heard the engine of the car died. Strange, all of my family member are home already.
Waitttt
NO WAY!
I hurriedly stood up and got my badminton racket resting near my door and rushed back to bed to hide it incase someone might come up to my window and robbed me!
All those scary thoughts is starting to get into me. Not prepared what would happen next.
But all those thought were disturb when my phone rang.
Out of panic I swiftly answered it without reading who the unknown caller was.
"Did I disturb you?"
My nervousness was easily wash off after hearing the voice I have been waiting to hear for.
His gentle and soothing voice calmed me down and I know who the caller was without looking the caller's I.D
Caylus....