I...was always different.I was strange.Kids avoid me...I was always alone,reading my books.Those imaginary world never judge me.My parents are divorced...because of me.Then,when I just step in the adult world,my mother died of anger.She was disappointed in me,who can do nothing right.My father remarried with another woman and take care of her childs...They shared no blood with him,so why...why did you pamper them?While you ignore me...I'm your own flesh and blood!Is it because I'm her child?

I tried hard to please everyone.I change my personnality to one that everyone will like.I was funny,happy,a sunshine...but still,everybody hate me.Maybe because I'm not enough?So I tried,again,but failed...I though about it a long time,and come to the conclusion that they saw me as a plastic,a fake.I was a bad kid.

Did you know that I hate the entire world?I just want to be asleep forever,or better,be dead.I want to abandonned everything,to stop time.Because everything I tried,I failed.I don't understand the sense of life...That's me,Qiu XiaoTing,a author that make hardly a living.My readers said that my story are too gloomy.But this is the true world.Not everyone is gifted with luck.Not everyone is happy.

It seem that I have some...mental issues.I don't want to lived,and I don't want to be cured.I want to stay like this...forever and ever.Because there is no hope.Everybody say there is hope,but I don't want it.Laws said that if you have an accident,hospital will try their best to save you.I have jumped from high places,but I still isn't dead.They make me come back to life,again and again.But I don't want it!I don't want to live!You think everyone want to live?Then,this is your pure delusion!

Then,the day of my doom arrived.I aren't worthy of living,of being loved...I'm soo dirty....I knew that one day,everything will stop.I welcome that thought.Yes,I were unfilial toward my family,and my friends.I only feel pain for a moment,only a moment.I feel my organs being crushed,and my blood fillin my mouth.I couldn't move,but I was conscient of my surrounding.Yells was heard,and screams.Someone was tolding me...to hold on.But I didn't,It was my choice.I.Want.To.Stop.Everything.And that was my solution.I am finally free,at peace.I am free.

Darkness covered my vision,and I lost my conscience.My body was cold,and my spirit was at peace,calm.I aintly someone holding me,and hot tears dripping on my face.Who is it?My blood run out,and I became totally envelop in the dark.I was falling.Falling from life.

I am finally dead.